his bullying tactics at work again

Old 06-19-2007, 05:14 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Location: NJ
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If you do not have caller id get it. This way you do not have to answer his calls and you can keep your phone number. It can also be used as a way of showing how many times he calls when he is to have no contact with you.
You have come so far in your recovery already and will continue to go farther. Not always easy but you will get there. You are seeing what he is trying to do and understand that he just wants his way. Like a little child not getting what he wants to so they throw a fit.
Let your lawyer see the emails so when you go to court on Thurs he fan let the judge know. The judge will let him know that it is not ok to call you and send you threating emails. They are just threats but you never know what can happen if he does not get his way.
Stay safe and take care of YOU and your children.
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Old 06-19-2007, 05:29 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by drainedwife View Post
to be honest with all of you i think i check the emails and voice mail messages in hopes that i will read or hear something that indicates that he does finally get it.....iam still holding on to that dream

I went thru this for months after XABF moved out... and then I found out he had been cheating and lying the extent of which still amazes me.

Even now that he is not around and I never hear from him I still hope, for him, that he finally gets it.

After 40 years of drug use that is unlikely, but I hope anyway.
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Old 06-19-2007, 06:10 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Actually in my home state, not Fl, communicating with him via you sister is also considered a violation of the RO on your part. Be careful!
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Old 06-19-2007, 06:49 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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I don't have any other advice, you've gotten plenty here, and it's all good. The only thing I can add is things WILL NOT get better for you until he is no longer the focus in your life. Get the called ID and quit answering calls from him or any of his friends and family. If you can't block his e-mail at work simply delete it as soon as you see it, don't read it. If you need to print them out for legal reasons, fine, but you can still not read them. He has got to stop being your focus.

Addicition is not like a cold where one day he just gets better. Even if he was genuine about recovery, which clearly he is not, it is still a long process with setbacks along the way. You can't look at each moment by moment and make decisions. What if is he seems genuine for 3 weeks, goes to rehab and goes to meetings so you take him back? Then 3 weeks later he starts using again? Where are you and your kids then?

Give him time to do whatever he is going to do. His recovery can not be about you, your marriage or your kids. The only way he will ever recover is if he wants it for himself. Nothing or noone else can make an addict recover. You can't control it, not ever. Only he can.
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Old 06-19-2007, 07:23 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
the girl can't help it
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Could your HOPE be:

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Old 06-19-2007, 08:29 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
let it grow!
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
hey drained, i am guilty too of doing the same thing over and over again, even though i know it is not working. give yourself a break. do it different next time, and don't take the calls or read the emails. honor your choice of the ro - it's your choice, not his.

blessings, k
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