flycmk

I haven't posted on here in a while because I found that I felt a little better if I focused on other things in my life for a while. I've been trying to divorce my AH for 8 months now. He has been verbally and physically abusive leading to my decision to divorce him, and it was only after that that I discovered he was a cocaine addict (among other things like Lortabs, ephedrine, alcohol). It has been a continuous battle. At first I begged and begged him over and over again to go to rehab. It didn't work. I begged his parents to get him to rehab and warned them that he'd lose everything if he didn't. It didn't work. I tried to go through the court system to get a protection order. It didn't work. Finally, last week he got high and took a gun to work and was pointing it at people (apparently jokingly) and among other crazy stuff, told one coworker that he was going to kill me. That coworker notified his boss who then called me to warn me. They contacted the police, locked down the facility, police surrounded it and people had to stay in their offices with the doors locked. He apparently went home, dropped off the gun, and came back to work and was arrested. Meanwhile, I had called the daycare where our two three-year-olds go and told them what was going on and not to let him pick up the kids. They contacted the police who guarded the doors. They had me go to daycare to talk to the cops. They had a total attitude with me at first. They were in communication with the police at his work and informed me that he had committed no crime and that they were going to let him go! I freaked and said something like "there wasn't any alcohol in the car? He always has alcohol while he's driving." I also told them he had to have drugs somewhere and that I couldn't believe they didn't find any and that he was going to come kill me. Well, the sergeant I was talking to apparently believed me and went over to AH's work and re-searched the truck. He found the cocaine. AH was arrested and charged with two felonies. Terrorist threat and possession of cocaine. He went to jail on Tuesday and his mother bailed him out on Thursday night (she is in denial and still thinks he's an angel). To my disappointment, they did not drive him directly to a mental institution or rehab facility. His arraignment hearing is Thursday and he has a mental evaluation today. The court has ordered that he have no contact with me, that I have exclusive possession of the home, and that any visitation he has is supervised. This is what I have been trying to have the courts do for the past 8 months so at least it finally happened and my children and I are somewhat safe. The children are doing very well. I think AH's behavior lately had scared them because they don't say they miss him and they don't really want to talk to him on the phone much. But they are having fun, smiling, happy, but clingier than usual. They will be just fine though, I think.

AH's mug shot was on the 6pm and 10pm news the day after all of this happened. They said he was facing "explosive charges". It was a pretty sensational story and devastating to see. This is a man who is normally very charismatic, intelligent, makes good money, has young children and a nice wife (if I do say so myself). Anyway, it was all very serious and my life may have been saved by the coworker and his manager who warned me.

I just wanted to share this so that those of you who are in relationships with addicts can see what can happen. I'm so glad to get my children and me out of AH's environment and into our own that is happy and safe.

liesagain

oh my........thank God the coworker called you and that you and the children are sare today............hang in there

teke

sorry this has happened but glad to hear that you are feeling somewhat safe now and that they now know what he is capable of and is ready to now listen to you and give you the help that you've been asking for. keeping you and yours in my prayers

hope213

welcome back, i am glad you are safe.drugs can & do destroy people.i feel bad for him,you & mostly his children.i am glad no one was hurt.stay safe.hugs & prayers, hope

lostparent

Thank God for the coworker an the sergeant that believed you.

parentrecovers

it's a horrible disease with devastating consequences. i'm glad you and your children are safe. prayers to you and your family. blessings, k

BigSis

((((flycmk))))) Oh what a thing to go through. Prayers that the system will get him the help he needs.

In the meantime, prayers that you can find some meetings, too. Alanon or Naranon... and that you might want to double up on meetings, if you are already attending.


((hugs))