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Cognitive Dissonance

Old 06-09-2007, 07:38 AM
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Cognitive Dissonance

I've become aware lately of this extreme cognitive dissonance inside of me (you know something IS right, but you FEEL quite the opposite which creates internal, mental conflict.)

Seems that the two parts of my brain - I love this man unconditionally/I want to believe in his inherent goods/that he loves me and the other part that says 'You deserve more. He has hurt you and does to respect himself or you and this is evident by his actions.'

When I act out on either ends of this spectrum I have an extreme case of cognitive dissonance so that nothing seems to feel right.
I feel the "After-burn" no matter what choice I make and I am wondering if this ever stops? Seems no matter what I choose I still have to deal with the conflicting emotion of not choosing the other course of action and I end up feeling confused and awful regardless.
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Old 06-09-2007, 08:55 AM
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It just may be because your vacation from this man was not nearly long enough. This is not about you working on things as "A Couple" it's about working on your recovery. "Your" recovery.
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Old 06-09-2007, 09:01 AM
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mavis is right, you'll never feel the contentment until you learn how to live for your well being. I'm sure it's a hard road, ( my addict is my son so it's alittle different for me)
I had to release my emotions of worry, fear ect ect ect... and I'm still working on it of course, but I'm so much better after the first time I realized ,"I matter too" and started working on me from then on.

good luck to you
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Old 06-09-2007, 12:45 PM
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hk

i feel the same way, sometimes. i have been working with a sponsor to help me sort these feelings out. it is alot of hard work and alot of honesty.

know this: if you make a choice for yourself than it is the right choice.
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