The Plastic Face....
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
The Plastic Face....
Just how do you take it? The comments, you have done so well, you are doing so well, you look so good...all well meaning comments. You stand there, walk away and that heart is just pounding....but you don't even notice it to much because you learn to live with the pounding heart....
This is kind of funny....my sister who is 9 years older than I am....she remarried 10 years ago, she married on my wedding date....it was a summer wedding and it just happened that way. But her husband had the same birthday as my husband...bIL older...kind of strange but it was just the way it happened....
Yesterday I stopped at my sister's place, not something I do often, she said that they were going out for BIL's birthday dinner....I stopped in my tracks...oh my god it is my husbands birthday too....she said, that is a good thing, you have moved on, you didn't even dwell on it and the day meant nothing to you. True enough, but from then on there I wondered about him.
Deep down he is still there and it has such a hold in my heart, I do what I have to do but...it is still there...I only do what I have to do to survive....4 years later...I know that I would never go back to him....nor do I think of it, but that block of deep love is still there...
Rose
This is kind of funny....my sister who is 9 years older than I am....she remarried 10 years ago, she married on my wedding date....it was a summer wedding and it just happened that way. But her husband had the same birthday as my husband...bIL older...kind of strange but it was just the way it happened....
Yesterday I stopped at my sister's place, not something I do often, she said that they were going out for BIL's birthday dinner....I stopped in my tracks...oh my god it is my husbands birthday too....she said, that is a good thing, you have moved on, you didn't even dwell on it and the day meant nothing to you. True enough, but from then on there I wondered about him.
Deep down he is still there and it has such a hold in my heart, I do what I have to do but...it is still there...I only do what I have to do to survive....4 years later...I know that I would never go back to him....nor do I think of it, but that block of deep love is still there...
Rose
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
Rose
Your post touched me. Of course it is still there - love never dies - even when we can't be with those we love - for whatever reason.
Only the very strongest people can let go - and still love. Bless you - may you find peace even in the sadness.
All the best...
Your post touched me. Of course it is still there - love never dies - even when we can't be with those we love - for whatever reason.
Only the very strongest people can let go - and still love. Bless you - may you find peace even in the sadness.
All the best...
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
I understand... I've been struggling with this very thing. I had to let someone go whom I loved very much. I've heard he might be doing better now, but I have grown too much and my boundaries are firmly in place - he doesn't get to be a part of my day-to-day life anymore.
With that said, I still have strong feelings of love for him. I imagine I always will
Hugs
Cats
With that said, I still have strong feelings of love for him. I imagine I always will
Hugs
Cats
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 333
For me love never ends, dies nor does it grow weaker and fade away, it only changes its form. It changes with time into a love that can still be with us but best suited for each individual to go on living without those they cannot be with. Your husband will always be with you as he was but he will never be with you again the way that he is now. Thanks for the post.
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 333
Love is the only thing that can cure an addict or encourage recovery Rose, I think society has tried everything else. The love has to come from the addict, love for themselves, love for others and regret for the pain they have caused thier loved ones and themselves. What other reason powerful enough would they stop for...I am sure between the addict trying and thier loved ones, they have tried most other get sober quick schemes...its on them now!
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
It is nice to remember the great feelings we had for someone;Remember a chapter of our lives. My ex is psychologically impotent and a certified moron. But back in the day we had great sex, wonderful adventures and a son. I do remember the good times before he screwed me over. I can never say I regret meeting him because then my only child, my AS, wouldn't be here. Wow this thread brought back memories. We live and learn, or @ least I did. My current husband is a wonderful man. Luckily, we have the capacity to fall in love again and again.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Rose...the love you keep for him just shows the type of person you are...thats not a bad thing.
I hold a deep deep love for my ex, the father of my kids.
But I had to force myself to tuck that away, in a special place in my heart, and move on.
It never went away, it just moved to the attic, for safe keeping.
((((hugs)))
Cece
I hold a deep deep love for my ex, the father of my kids.
But I had to force myself to tuck that away, in a special place in my heart, and move on.
It never went away, it just moved to the attic, for safe keeping.
((((hugs)))
Cece
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i think you think of your ex the rest of of your life reguardless if they were an addict or not.my 1st husband & i got married on my dads b-day & his & my moms annerversy. i think about it once in awhile but not every yr. like i did in the beginnig. things do get better.hugs, hope
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
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(((((Rose))))))
I understand what you are saying...may you continue to find peace. It is a journey well worth taking. Sometimes I fake it til I make it too...I find seeking gratitude helps me to be able to store the sadness away and move forward with enjoying simple beauties in life. But it doesn't mean the sadness doesn't come out sometimes. I have to take it out and acknowledge it in order to be able to put it away and continue to move forward. Hugs and prayers.
I understand what you are saying...may you continue to find peace. It is a journey well worth taking. Sometimes I fake it til I make it too...I find seeking gratitude helps me to be able to store the sadness away and move forward with enjoying simple beauties in life. But it doesn't mean the sadness doesn't come out sometimes. I have to take it out and acknowledge it in order to be able to put it away and continue to move forward. Hugs and prayers.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: punta gorda florida
Posts: 381
I understand too. They lie, steal, cheat, lose their souls to drugs, even die for them, forsaking everything and yet we still mourn their loss. I mourn the person i knew before the drugs took him. I never understood the words "love never dies", but its true. The Love Never Does Die. I hope you are doing ok. marian
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