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please pray for me,

Old 06-06-2007, 10:29 AM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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(((teke)))

I am having difficulty understanding what is happening are you looking for hidden cameras??? Or maybe hidden ways of entering your house???

You sound somewhat frantic and I am praying for you and sending you
(((((((BIGHUGS))))))))
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Old 06-06-2007, 10:33 AM
  # 82 (permalink)  
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question?????

is there any thing that could be put on dog food to make the dogs sleep or distract them. for some reason, there is this extra bag of dog food that is kept in the garage storage area, along with charcoal, lighter fluid and some of the lamp fuel thats used for those little outdoor mosquito lights. one those days, i'll find little bits of dog food all over the house. leave the door open and the dogs that has been trained to not come in the house at all, will come in looking for whatever and then i'll usually find these little bits of food, he'll go feed them and then all of a sudden, they all just can't stay awake. i mean they sleep all day, wake them and theyll go right back to sleep. sometimes i'll hear them bark for a minute and when i check to see what they see, they are quitely looking at the roof. i go up in the attic and there are places, that i can literally see the sky, like someone has cut lines in the roof, seems like it would leak if it had as many lines in it as i can see. i don't go up there to take a really good look cause its dark up there other than for the many lines and i'm afraid that there may be some place that i could fall through if i went too far back up there.
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Old 06-06-2007, 10:38 AM
  # 83 (permalink)  
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spendra, its all the hidden ways that someone could either enter or hide in my house without our knowledge. the camera came into play when my ah did this porn movie and thought he had erased the tape, but i switched the tape without him knowing and it revealed a lot of this junk that he had convinced me was me hallucinating. i think i might want to stop while i'm ahead cause i know that this stuff makes me sound kind of crazy. this junk has been going on a long time and i have went to a counselor yrs ago to discuss all of this.

btw, i don't think that i'm frantic right now, i think reality is trying to set in and i'm just looking back over yrs of this junk and seeing how this all could have been possible to pull off. i was convinced that i was loosing my mind so a lot of this stuff i didn't ignore, i just decided that maybe it was me losing my mind and the things that i thought was just my imagination. now he tells me that i need to go into the hospital to have a mental evaluation, maybe thats all he wants me to do right now, giving him something more to work with.
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Old 06-06-2007, 11:46 AM
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teke, I have to be honest here if I were you I would go searching every corner, closet, attic, garage any place where I would think he made a secret opening or any invention to get into my home. If the kids thought I was crazy already because of their dad said then I have nothing to lose. Even if the kids didnt think I was crazy I still would go through everything just to give me a peace of mind and not have to worry that when I kick him out he could still come in again. This type of stuff frieghtens me....I need to feel safe at home I am even leary of putting an air conditioner in my daughters window cause I am afraid of someone coming in from there.

You safety is first priority!

Hugs,
jewel
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Old 06-06-2007, 11:57 AM
  # 85 (permalink)  
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jewelz, this one particular house, i was so afraid to live in when he was not home with us that i literally used to baracade all the doors and windows shut and sometimes covered. only when he was living with us did i feel safe enough to go to sleep. he has always blamed the sound of footsteps in the attic on squirrels, that maybe true, but i was concerned and eventually ignored the fact that the squirrels sounded like they had normal sized feet. i heard the same type squirrels the other day too, and sure enough when i mentioned to him that i thought i heard footsteps in the attic, he made it a point to stress, that it was probably the squirrels,

then he calling me now to again see if i'm ok, i guess, i didn't get the call.
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Old 06-06-2007, 12:00 PM
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i've done this here at this house and its a newer nicer house, in a supposedly nice neighborhood. that other house, i was so scared to live there until i sent the kids to live a couple months with him and his mom and i tryied to stay there but i was to pertified, so i pack everything in storage and moved out with no place to live. thats how scared i was. the house after that the same thing, the house after that and now this house.
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Old 06-06-2007, 12:02 PM
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i would eventually from time to time realize that even if someone was coming in, that they were not taking anything so i felt a little less afraid, i was thinking that it was either him or someone he knew.
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Old 06-06-2007, 12:09 PM
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Teke,
Okay, you're on to him now. The object is not really to let him know that you are on to him. Maintain a low profile, see that lawyer and maybe, while your AH is out of the house, have a handyman, or someone come check out that house alongside you. Take pictures if you can.


Take a deep breath, get to a meeting if you can, Serenity Prayer, like Cats suggested, and put the focus back on YOU.

Hugs, and stay safe.
Excuse my judgementalness, but he sounds like a nut.

Hugs to you,
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Old 06-06-2007, 12:18 PM
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Teke, honey, the things you describe are just plain scary. Remember, an addict who has progressed for 21 years is capable of crazy stuff... the longer they're addicted the crazier. I know, I've seen and been through a lot myself. Even if he's clean now, he's still got the addict way of thinking with such short time clean. I'm really worried about your safety. Do you have any friends who could stay with you? Maybe someone from your church that would help you secure your house and make sure their are no hidden ways to get in?

Also, teenagers are smart... even if dad has somehow convinced them you're crazy, they have a way of seeing the truth. My oldest (16)can't really stand her father at this point, thinks he was never here anyway and deserves to be in prison for continuing to do what he did., my son (14) still loves his father, but also thinks he deserves to be in prison for what he did. Maybe have a heart to heart with your children, be honest with the current things your AH has done in the house. You don't have to be specific, be vague if you want.(They may have seen something they'll want to share). Let them know that he's still sick, even though he's working recovery... and it's gonna take a lot of time before the addict thinking changes... and in the meantime, he's gonna have to work his recovery elsewhere cause it's best for your health and sanity.

We love you, Teke. Please take good care of yourself! Still praying for you.
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Old 06-06-2007, 12:21 PM
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Sorry Im late sweetie....

But My prayers coming up to you as well.... good advise on here hon.
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Old 06-06-2007, 12:44 PM
  # 91 (permalink)  
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I thought I was crazy with Keith the last couple of months he was alive. I remember dropping my paperwork off at midnite at my bosses house because he wasn't home to stay with the baby earlier as he said he would be and I saw him and the ugliest man alive on the back of Keiths motorcycle 12 miles away from my home. When they turned their heads, I saw skeleton faces, I was lucky, the next day I told my best friend what happened[even the part where I heard the voice say GOD WANTS YOU TO SEE THIS...] He died 6 weeks later and until that minute, I was living with craziness[porn, weird sex or none, him sleeping all the time, no money]...I really thought I was going crazy....I wasn't..You arent either, it is the addict behavior, sociopathic, mechanical, no conscience....Protect yourself honey. I live in florida, have an extra room. You are welcome here for some R&R[have a baby now though]..Marian
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Old 06-06-2007, 01:13 PM
  # 92 (permalink)  
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thanks you guys, he has been to jail so many times in the past for domestic violence until i'm not afraid of him that much any more, don't know what he would do if he thought that i thought that he was no where around, honestly, i kind of feel safer physically when i can see him and not when he's away.

i've tried to get my older sons to check out all of these places but unfortunately my ah has already conditioned them long ago of the things that i would be showing them. they too believe him. i have contacted a security service and as soon as i get the money, i plan on setting a date for their techs to come out a give me a full assessment. i talked to one tech today, and i have a personal number for when i'm ready. i kind of think that they could tell me a lot. i think though, when i get the chance to check out my garage and washroom with the hole that leads to the attic. i think that there may be a simi sliding portion of that wall that may be able to slide back and forth, but he keeps some heavy stuff kind of blocking anything that i could possible move alone.

oh yeah, he just called, kind of angry cause the childsupport has finally sent the letter of garnishment for his salary. he owes thousands of dollars according to them, and he wants me to close the case like a dummy. i may give him some credit but closing the case would mean that i've lost my mind.
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Old 06-06-2007, 01:27 PM
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oh teke, i am so late on this.please keep yourself safe. hire a handy man to check your place or call the cops, they will do it for you. do u have a brother or any man you can trust.get somebody NOW.. i am worried about you.hugs & prayers, hope
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Old 06-06-2007, 01:31 PM
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Teke,
Honey, I am so sorry. I didnt get a chance to read all through the thread but I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you extra hard everyday. Prayers and lots of big huge hugs!
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Old 06-06-2007, 01:35 PM
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((((Teke))))) Sorry I am so late coming into this; I've been away. I'm praying for you Teke and sending love and support. I don't have any advice other than to try to find a quiet half hour to yourself and pray and ask your HP to guide you. Listen, and he will help you with what is best for you. Little steps, one at a time and it will get you past this. I'm so sorry you are going through this...he really does sound over the edge. Hugs and prayers
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Old 06-06-2007, 02:20 PM
  # 96 (permalink)  
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btw, yall, my ah is not clean though he has others thinking that he is, i know better.
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Old 06-06-2007, 08:35 PM
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Be on guard, Teke, especially since he's not clean. I know what you mean about feeling safer with him around. When my AH was so bad on drugs, I was more scared when he was gone a few days, cause he'd do crazy stuff like come home in the middle of the night and break in. I'd wake up with him there. That always freaked me out. I like the ideas suggested before me about videotaping what you've found. You seriously need evidence against him before he tries to have you commited to the mental hospital. Just in case. Be safe. And know that you're NOT the crazy one. Just sent a prayer up for you! God is with you and will see you through these hard times.
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Old 06-07-2007, 06:06 AM
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Heard a conversation on the radio this morning about this quote and thought of you Teke.

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."

Not saying your AH is the enemy... they were discussing keeping your enemies, the back stabbing people, etc. who are not really your friends close so you can keep tabs on what they're doing so your not the one they're plotting against.

Hope you're feeling a little better and stronger today. Still praying for you.
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Old 06-07-2007, 06:15 AM
  # 99 (permalink)  
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You are on my mind!

LOVE!

live
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Old 06-07-2007, 06:36 AM
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Morning Teke,

Time to get the focus back on you and off you AH no matter he has or hasn't done.

So what steps can you take today to make your life better? Do you need to think of moving out? Do you need to see a lawyer? Do you need to stop and and pray and ask your HP for guidance as to what you need to do for you and the kids?

You can research all day long about what he has done and all that will do is keep your stomach churning. If you know in your heart and mind all this has taken place, it's now up to you to decide if you want to remain in this situation or you want to take steps to change your life and where you're living.

I pray you'll realize those first 3 steps which condensed are: I can't, He can, I think I'll let him. Ask you HP to guide you as to what you need to do and then listen. I've always asked but then wanted to do it my way. Funny thing, that never has worked!

Hugs,
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