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Old 06-05-2007, 01:32 AM
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Yes it is definitely psychologicaly addictive, and I have heard similar stories about the physical issues too. Those of you who are on here justifying it, and excusing it as a lesser issue than the other drugs are exactly why I started this post! Having been around potsmokers my entire life, I hear all these things all the time. I don't care if people use it recreationally, or every day, or whatever any more than I care if people use any other drug, but not in my life! Not in my house, and not in my family! My acupuncturist told me about making a needs list for your partner, not to be sed as an attack on them, but about you, describing what you need. he said that if my XAH could provide for my needs from the list (what I want) and still be baked 24/7 (what he wanted), if I could be satisfied with him.. I don't know the answer to that, because I don't think it's possible to be stoned 24/7 and be emotionally available, tuned in to your wife and kids, and take an active role as father of this family. He certainly wasn't any of those things!

So bottom line, if you are a pot smoker and you have people telling you its messing up your relationship, it is a problem, even if it is just pot!

And it makes you stink too...
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Old 06-05-2007, 05:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Pencil Pusher View Post
I don't care if people use it recreationally, or every day, or whatever any more than I care if people use any other drug, but not in my life! Not in my house, and not in my family! ...
Exactly where I am on this. 100% I don't know why they think they are 'different' because they are not. They are avoiding life on some level.. and if that level affects how they live then they are no different.

Originally Posted by Pencil Pusher View Post
I don't know the answer to that, because I don't think it's possible to be stoned 24/7 and be emotionally available, tuned in to your wife and kids, and take an active role as father of this family. He certainly wasn't any of those things!
Been there first hand. The #1 relationship my XABF had was with POT. He told me all about it after I made "discovery" and the excitement in his eyes and voice was really creepy.. the sort of excitment you hear in the voice of someone who has just won a big prize. His big prize? A life of failure!

Originally Posted by Pencil Pusher View Post
So bottom line, if you are a pot smoker and you have people telling you its messing up your relationship, it is a problem, even if it is just pot!
...and no different than any other drug. I think pot is, as you have suggested, more insidious!
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Old 06-05-2007, 06:01 AM
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I'm of the thought that there are no good drugs, there are no "lesser" drugs. Drugs kill the mind, the body and the spirit. Drugs take our loved ones away from us.

Addiction is a family disease, and there is nothing "controlled, casual or lesser" about the destruction it leaves in its path.

It's all sad, no matter what the drug.

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Old 06-05-2007, 09:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Pencil Pusher View Post
Those of you who are on here justifying it, and excusing it as a lesser issue than the other drugs are exactly why I started this post!
I find this comment pretty offensive to be honest. In my response to this thread I never once pointed a finger or called anyone out on their opinion.

You are definitely entitled to your opinion on the subject and I am entitled to mine.

Clearly no matter what I say on the subject (or anyone else who disagrees with you) I will be written off as being someone who is into the drug and "in denial" about it....so there really is no point in debating my side of this.
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Old 06-05-2007, 09:17 AM
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We are each entitled to our views, and if this thread offends anyone they can start their own thread supporting their view.

What we don't want is a debate. Sharing our views, even when they differ is a good part of the diversity of our experience, and sharing respectfully is always welcome.

Let's each remember that we will rarely all agree on any one thing, but we can still respect other views as part of our own learning experience, yes?

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Old 06-05-2007, 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Ann View Post
We are each entitled to our views, and if this thread offends anyone they can start their own thread supporting their view.

What we don't want is a debate. Sharing our views, even when they differ is a good part of the diversity of our experience, and sharing respectfully is always welcome.

Let's each remember that we will rarely all agree on any one thing, but we can still respect other views as part of our own learning experience, yes?

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I completely agree with you and the thread doesn't offend me in anyway. What offended me was this poster's remark about those of us who have a different view.

The poster started a thread clearly asking for opinions and views and then when he/she got opinions and views that he/she didn't agree with, the rest of us got insulted.
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Old 06-05-2007, 10:08 AM
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I will say this.. and it is something I learned in recovery and from this board:

Feeling insulted, regardless of where you are on a topic, is just that.. a feeling.. a response to something. Feeling insulted is often a defensive posture (and it matters not the subject).

Many people have disagreed with me here (and many will continue to do so the rest of my life). I accept they have a different view point than mine and I no longer feel insulted as feeling that way hurts me.

If you are an occaisional drinker of beer, and you said this in an AA meeeting, you might get drummed out of the place, or at least called on your opinion. This is because of the experiences of the people who are in that meeting.

If you are an occaisional drug user and you come into a place where many many people have been severely damaged on many levels by drugs, you must expect there will be those who do not agree with you.

I see your point of view. Due to my very painful experiences I do not agree with you and that is OK!

If we all agreed we would lose the texture of humanity.
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Old 06-05-2007, 10:31 AM
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I loved my ex-"son-in-law". His pot habit caused him to push my daughter into asking him to leave her and their son's life. And it broke her heart to do it, she really didn't have any other choice.
Her life and my grandson's turned around beautifully, his didn't as he is still doing the same things.

I know some recreational smokers. And some social drinkers. And people who always speed on the freeway...and I get mad at them because I don't want them to cause me to get in an accident! Just like I don't want someone else's smoking getting me in trouble.
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Old 06-05-2007, 10:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Elana View Post
I will say this.. and it is something I learned in recovery and from this board:

Feeling insulted, regardless of where you are on a topic, is just that.. a feeling.. a response to something. Feeling insulted is often a defensive posture (and it matters not the subject).

Many people have disagreed with me here (and many will continue to do so the rest of my life). I accept they have a different view point than mine and I no longer feel insulted as feeling that way hurts me.

If you are an occaisional drinker of beer, and you said this in an AA meeeting, you might get drummed out of the place, or at least called on your opinion. This is because of the experiences of the people who are in that meeting.

If you are an occaisional drug user and you come into a place where many many people have been severely damaged on many levels by drugs, you must expect there will be those who do not agree with you.

I see your point of view. Due to my very painful experiences I do not agree with you and that is OK!

If we all agreed we would lose the texture of humanity.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. However, I am of the firm belief that there are respectful and polite ways to disagree on things. I have NO problem whatsoever if ANYONE disagrees with me on any subject and of course when it comes to topics such as drug use it's expected, but like I said, there is a polite and respectful way to disagree with someone.

I did feel insulted and my feelings are legitimate and I am entitled to them. It was not the fact that someone disagreed with me that caused these feelings, it was the way in which it was expressed.
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Old 06-05-2007, 10:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Kimm992 View Post
I did feel insulted and my feelings are legitimate and I am entitled to them.
I agree. We are all entitled to our feelings, whatever they may be.
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Old 06-05-2007, 10:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Kimm992 View Post
Clearly no matter what I say on the subject (or anyone else who disagrees with you) I will be written off as being someone who is into the drug and "in denial" about it....so there really is no point in debating my side of this.
I'm sorry that you were offended, Kimm. I am coming in late here, but I just wanted to offer you this: this board is filled with people whose lives have been ripped apart by the addiction of a loved one. Most of us see any drug as the enemy, including pot. Many of our addicts, mine included, once 'only smoked pot'.

In the case of my ex husband, when he (and I) was your age I wouldn't have said he had a problem with pot, either. I would have defended anyone's right to smoke it and said it was not dangerous. I would just caution you, and this is said without criticism and with honest concern, that over the years a casual use of this drug can turn into a nightmare.

My exah is 53 now and spent every single day of his life up until he was about 47 stoned from morning till evening. A joint was his first thought in the morning and his last thought at night. He could not do ANYTHING without it. He went nuts when he ran out. He spent untold amounts of money on it and embezzled untold inventory from our business to trade for it. I believe he would have happily continued smoking 24/7 if not for the obvious smell of it. So he turned to opiates instead. Much 'cleaner' and less noticeable than smoking pot......

Now he has lost his home, his family, his business, and himself. I agree with others who say that a drug is a drug and has the potential to ruin many lives. Even pot.
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Old 06-05-2007, 11:06 AM
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Originally Posted by duet_4-8 View Post
I'm sorry that you were offended, Kimm. I am coming in late here, but I just wanted to offer you this: this board is filled with people whose lives have been ripped apart by the addiction of a loved one. Most of us see any drug as the enemy, including pot. Many of our addicts, mine included, once 'only smoked pot'.

In the case of my ex husband, when he (and I) was your age I wouldn't have said he had a problem with pot, either. I would have defended anyone's right to smoke it and said it was not dangerous. I would just caution you, and this is said without criticism and with honest concern, that over the years a casual use of this drug can turn into a nightmare.

My exah is 53 now and spent every single day of his life up until he was about 47 stoned from morning till evening. A joint was his first thought in the morning and his last thought at night. He could not do ANYTHING without it. He went nuts when he ran out. He spent untold amounts of money on it and embezzled untold inventory from our business to trade for it. I believe he would have happily continued smoking 24/7 if not for the obvious smell of it. So he turned to opiates instead. Much 'cleaner' and less noticeable than smoking pot......

Now he has lost his home, his family, his business, and himself. I agree with others who say that a drug is a drug and has the potential to ruin many lives. Even pot.
Thanks for the response. I am also one of those people whose lives have been ripped apart by drugs. Both of my parents were addicts while I was growing up (and still are), my older cousin is an addict and his mom is an alcoholic so I'm very familiar with the effects that addiction can have on people and families.

I'm also not disagreeing that pot CAN be a problem for some people just as alcohol CAN be a problem for some people. I would never in any way want to trivialize or minimize the horrible experiences people have had with marijuana.

I guess my point is (as someone else stated in this thread) that some people are not necessarily as prone to addictive behaviors as others. Many people go their entire lives being able to have an occassional alcoholic drink without a problem and many people also go their entire lives being able to smoke marijuana occassionally without any problem as well. It would be completely absurd to tell someone who has the occassional beer that they're just "in denial" about their alcohol addiction...and in my opinion it's the same with marijuana.

Marijuana is a drug and it can ruin lives....but in my opinion it is not anywhere close to being in the same category as cocaine, heroin, etc. It just lacks chemical agents that these other drugs contain. I think it is perfectly okay for someone to occassionally smoke marijuana just as I think it's perfectly okay for someone to have the occassional alcoholic drink.

Nobody has to agree with me....but if you disagree I simply ask that you do it respectfully
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Old 06-05-2007, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by tracee1010 View Post
I disagree that marujuana is different than cocaine or alcohol. What chemical agents a substance is created from is pretty irrelevant unless someone is looking to justify it. Any substance, used in exzorbanant amounts or abuse is dangerous, even deadly. This includes steroids, food, ect... I know some people who smoke weed, drink occasionaly, and even only snort coke on the weekends. Some people are able to use it "recreationally" , ultimately I believe it is used as an escape from reality.
A vaction my be an "escape" as well, but it is not illegal, which then adds the danger of lives.
I am from a family of addicts and have stuggled with substance abuse (alcohol and pain pills) in the past. I have learned that for me, "sometimes" is not a good idea or safe, especially since i am a mother and am suppose to be setting a good example and role modeling for my son, His father is not able to as he is in active addiction.
He is a classic "Pot head", his use may have started out for fun, 10 years ago but now it is the center of his life. He smokes weed, like ciggarrettes. He also deals to support his habit. His choices and lifestyle around this drug.... has runied his life. He has nothing, wants nothing, works for nothing, and will be nothing until he decides to get help. In my opinion, based on my life experience, I see NO difference between weed and any other substance.

I don't disagree that anything used in large amounts is dangerous. I couldn't agree with you more.

I do think that chemical composition has a lot to do with it though. If we completely ignore chemical composition as a factor then does that mean one shouldn't drink coffee at all either? Of course not!!

The fact is (and I'm just stating fact, not trying to justify anything) the chemical composition of some drugs is much different than others and many drugs are much more LIKELY to become physically addictive than others. I smoke marijuana occassionally and have never had a problem...but would you ever see me use cocaine or heroin?? Never!! Why?? Because it is a fact that these drugs contain chemical agents that make them extremely physically addictive.

Unfortunately I don't think things are always one way or another or black and white. However, I think that for some people it is easier and safer for them to group all drugs into the category of "that's bad" because they feel safer not having a grey area to deal with (I'm not talking about you or anyone specific, just in general).

That said, everyone is different and I know people who have a big problem with marijuana and could be considered addicts and I also know people who smoke it occassionally and are not addicts at all.
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Old 06-05-2007, 01:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Kimm992 View Post
IUnfortunately I don't think things are always one way or another or black and white. However, I think that for some people it is easier and safer for them to group all drugs into the category of "that's bad" because they feel safer not having a grey area to deal with (I'm not talking about you or anyone specific, just in general).
FWIW I respect your opinion.
My putting MJ in with all other illegal drugs is just about that.. the illegality of it.

Here in NY it is illegal (tho small amounts have been decriminalized). Transportaing it across State lines, smoking it while driving (sorry.. that is BAD), growing it, selling it and buying it are all felonious activities. My |XABF did all the above and did it behind my back and without my knowledge. I would not have consented to it as it truly put me at risk of losing everything I have worked very hard to get.

I do not place MJ in the "bad" category with Crack and Heroin because I fear it. I don't fear it. I do fear having someone lie to me and put my freedom.. my most precious gift.. as risk cusz they need a joint.. occaisional or not.

If you ask me what I fear? It is people. Let me face a tiger or a poison snake. People are the ones who will hurt you the most and the first. Any person who would threaten MY FREEDOM with THEIR illegal activity behind my back and without my knowledge does not belng in my life. Ever.
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Old 06-05-2007, 01:39 PM
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Originally Posted by tracee1010 View Post
I disagree that marujuana is different than cocaine or alcohol. What chemical agents a substance is created from is pretty irrelevant unless someone is looking to justify it. Any substance, used in exzorbanant amounts or abuse is dangerous, even deadly. In my opinion, based on my life experience, I see NO difference between weed and any other substance.
I do see a difference between Marijuana and other drugs as far as PHYSICAL effects and TOXICITY. NO ONE has ever died from Marijuana poisoning. Too much alcohol, cocaine, heroin ...etc. can lead to overdose and immediate death. I don't think that fact is COMPLETELY irrelevant. NOT trying in to argue-just putting in my two cents.

But i think if someone is addicted to something, no matter what it is, then that is where problems start.

In an anthropology book I have it says that all throughout history in every culture (excluding Eskimo/inuit) humans have found ways to alter their conciousness through plants. Many times this was limited to ritualized use for religious purposes. I think that is probably why one does not hear about addiction in times past. These things were strictly regulated by the cultures that used them. I was reading something about Mayan culture and they made some kind of booze, but no one was allowed to drink until they were 60 years old!

The book says that animals do this also. (Look at cats and catnip)

(DISCLAIMER) As one who has experienced horrible things as the results of drugs and alcohol both directly and indirectly I am NOT offering these things up as evidence that drugs are OK or anything. I just think that it is interesting, thats all.
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Old 06-05-2007, 01:51 PM
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My two cents always pisses someone off so I should go ahead and throw mine in. Personnally I have never seen a mean, angry abusive pot head. Pot heads, assuming thats is what they are, may be wasting thier life but most are not abusive ect. even heavy users. I smoked a ton of weed as a teen and have friends now who smoke and it is simply not an issue to me and or most anyone I know. BTW I rarely if ever smoke now either...Personnally I could care less either way but I would rather have 10 pot heads around laughing than one meth head who is tweaking. Hate it or love it pot just is not that big of a deal for most people and I think alcohol is a lot worse than weed....I think that is what those who are defending it are truely saying. JMHO
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Old 06-05-2007, 01:53 PM
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Originally Posted by raerae6 View Post
I do see a difference between Marijuana and other drugs as far as PHYSICAL effects and TOXICITY. NO ONE has ever died from Marijuana poisoning. Too much alcohol, cocaine, heroin ...etc. can lead to overdose and immediate death. I don't think that fact is COMPLETELY irrelevant. NOT trying in to argue-just putting in my two cents.

But i think if someone is addicted to something, no matter what it is, then that is where problems start.
I couldn't agree with you more!!
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Old 06-05-2007, 03:57 PM
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If you've never seen a mean, angry, abusive pothead, consider yourself lucky. My AH gets nasty, mean, and abusive when he can't get pot. Smoking the pot might mellow him, but going without makes him beligerent. This is also an effect pot has on him.

Having lived through the nightmare of watching my kids get clothes from the Salvation Army while AH takes the $ for pot, seeing them go without food and milk while he gets stoned, I will always despise pot. Having said that, my sister was the world's biggest pot fan, who never had a problem with it and used as responsibly as the most responsible social drinker.

Nonetheless, my negative experience has turned me against pot. But as long as you aren't in my face with it, or doing anyone dirt for it, I'll never judge you. (Some of my best friends smoke pot and respect me and won't use around me, which is cool.)
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Old 06-05-2007, 04:06 PM
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guineapigjude,

You reminded me of the time that an old boyfriend of mine did not get me anything for my B-day-not even a card....But he did get himself a big bag of weed that day!

I was hurt and told him so and he said, "well i thought you might wanna smoke some weed on your birthday.."

He knew full well that it had been years since I had any interest in smoking !!!

The same guy would not leave the house when he was out of weed just in case someone called or came over with some. (This was before cell phones were popular)
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Old 06-05-2007, 04:20 PM
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guineapigjude, no i have not been around any of the above but I have meth and crack addicts...sounds a lot like your ah...Now understand I never said everyone was fine on weed just for most it is not an issue. I am sure there is a withdrawl in amything to affect you but its not an excuse to be a friggin jerk and a a-hole. There are people who just lose it but not often a stoner...he does have a diffrent level of addcition to MJ than most. I was making an general observation of my life experiences and no one else...
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