GwenMarie30

When we come across times in our lives that we just cant seem to handle or know what to do, I hear the phrase to just let go and let you HP take over. Well just how do you do that? I have kinda taken a step back from here and everything that is going on to let life run its course. The worry is still just eating at me daily that I cant sleep at night and it just makes me feel crazy in the head. I continually hear that whatever may happen is what is appart of my grand plan. Well when do I actually find out when or what my grand plan in life is? Do we ever find out what our purpose inlife really is? I completely agree with the 12 Steps and do them as much as possible. Ok, so I have come to believe in a power greater than myself. I believe whole heartedly, really I do. But there is also the saying that your HP doesnt help those who dont help themselves. I have to ask myself, have I done everything I can do? Alot of you who know me, know I am referring to the jail time and felonies I am facing fro driving with out a license. Just to let you all know it doesnt look good. How can I not sit back and worry and agonize over what is to come. If I am sent to prison, what good is it there? What good is that for my kids? My family? Let me tell you, I have learned my lesson! I dont drive anymore and have taken evry step I know how to make sure I do what is right.


I have spent days and days praying, meditating, anything I can do on my end to not worry so. How do you just let go and let God? What about Karma? Ive heard it said that you get back what you put out. Well let me tell you Ive gotten back everything Ive put out and also have recieved alot of good. I cant tell you in words how grateful I am for everything Ive been given.

I feel like a walking timebomb. Litterally and the clock is ticking. June 8th is my court hearing for the probation revocation hearing and also will be charged on the same day with 2 felony counts of driving while revoked. The stress is just unreal. I cant eat, sleep or communicate with you all hear like I used to. I sit and read the threads and am left drawing a blank on what to say. My life doesnt seem to compare with some of the worst things going on here and others around me. My life is good compared to others yet I feel so consumed with what is going on in my own life, I am left feeling viod where others are concerned.

Anyway, Its been a really long time since I have posteed here and I wanted to let you all know Im still hanging in here. There is nothing, absolutely nothing worth using over. I dont even feel the desire to do so. I more or less finally felt like reaching out to some of you to let you know what is happening here with me.

finallyout

((((gwen)))) i wish i had some words of wisdom for you but i have trouble letting go too. it does sound like you've done all you can do and tried to make everything right. i like to believe that when we do the right things everything does work out in the end, just sometimes the journey to the end is not what we wanted. i will definately be keeping you in my prayers - especially on the 8th. do you have a lawyer helping you?

rayofsunshine

(((Gwen))) I was just thinking about you this morning and wondering how you were doing. I've never been the one facing charges, but my AH has been in court several times. I know how hard it is not to worry. Just stay as busy as you can, enjoy your children and continue praying. I'm saying a prayer right now for you.

parentrecovers

prayers, gwen. sometimes when i feel down and confused, i do something nice for myself or someone else - something simple - and then i feel stronger. my daughter is going for her final second dui courtdate tomorrow, so i know what you mean by feeling stress. closure will be good for you and us. blessings, k

hope213

i have missed you & wondered about you.gwen, it is hard to let go, i understand that completely.how do you do that? my son is going thru the same h*ll that you are. what i tell him is live in today.i know he is going to be serving a lot of time.i tell him to try to enjoy the time he has here. he might as well be on the inside if he can not do that.he as well yourself has a lot to be greatful for.he is out on bond & what is the use of that if all you are going to do is worry so bad & stress so bad that you can not enjoy yourself? why be on the out side? my heart goes out to you. what will be will be, nothing you can do nor him. look what u will miss if you go away & live today as if it is your last.i can not but believe that you are going to be ok.you have your probation officer on your side.hugs & prayers for you.

GwenMarie30

Thank you each of you.

Finallyout,
Yes I do have a lawyer. She isnt very optimistic and tells me Im looking at some time. I dont thhink she is doing everything she can because I cant pay her completely and catch up on my fines and everything I owe. And its too late for me to change attorneys now.

Parentrecovers,
Im sorry for the stress you are having too. I understand first hand the anxiety. I will pray for you too.

Hope213,
As much stress as everything is, I have been keeping so busy having so much fun with the kids. I spend every possible minute with them. I wont let this take from what time I may or may not have left. Its just when Im quiet or alone. its not often, but I do have to sleep and it just seems to overwhelme me then.


But thank you each of you for the prayers. I need all I can get. But I also continue to pray for every one here every day. I even sit and read and pray special prayers for those that need an exta prayer or too.

Elana

(((Gwen)))
Wondered where you were and how this was going.

Letting it go means trying to keep in today and let the things that are going to happen unfold on their own at their time.

Just know I am sitting here and cheering for you.

marle

Gwen, Worrying will not change the outcome, it will just make the days leading up to it miserable to you. I have always been a big worrywart. It has taken me my daughter's addiction to learn to live in today. Two summers ago, I would lie awake at night and feel literally like I wanted to jump out of my skin and run away. I could not sleep, felt like I would die if I closed my eyes. At the time I did not recognize that I was suffering from severe anxiety attacks. Now I can see them for what they were . But all my suffering did not change what my daughter did with her life. It just made me miserable. I refuse to waste another day in worry. I hope that you can find a way to let it go so that whatever the outcome of your court appearance, you will not waste the time you have left worrying about something that you can't change. You have done all that you can to make amends. Now it is in other's hands. Hugs, Marle

rozied

Gwen, I have nothing to add but my prayers. I have never faced jail time so I really can't relate to what your going through, but my heart goes out to you. It must be tough.
Hugs & Prayers,
Diane

cmc

****{gwen}}}}
First of all...thank you for _your_ prayers.

When bad things happen to me, I try to not let my reaction to it diminish what good there is in my life, by letting it go I can focus on my blessings. The rest is up to God.

I can't imagine how you must be feeling, but it sounds to me that you are letting go, enjoying time with loved ones and trying to keep busy.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you will continue to keep posting and let us all walk alongside you at this time.
hugs,
cmc

patchoulli

hi Gwen. Keep on praying, listen to what comes. Let go of the worry, whatever is going to happen is going to happen. All these things are true although they sound so simple. Sometimes what helps me get thru a bad day, minute, hour, is the knowledge in me that says "ITS HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO BE''....For whatever reason, whatever is happening in my life, I HAVE FAITH THAT ITS GONNA BE ALRIGHT... and so far...it is....You will be in my prayers tonite.....Love Marian

caileesnana

you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know how much encouragment and kindess you have shown me, and how hard to are trying to make ammends. take pride in what you have accomplished. I won't say don't worry or be scared cuz I would be too, but try to have faith! Tomorrow will take care of itself.
susan

greeteachday

Gwen, I keep you in my prayers too. I know that sometimes what we think is the "right" answer isn't and that sometimes we never really understand why. I know this is beyond stressful...I'd be scared and worried too if I were you. But as Marle said, that doesn't change the outcome. I wish I could predict what will happened, but I can't. Your HP does have you, Gwen He lifts us up and helps us along the way. Hugs and prayers.

Lobo

((((Gwen))))
You will be in my prayers. Be proud and strong you will get through this.

Blessings...........Lo

ConcernedBigSis

Gwen,
I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

cece1960

(((((Gwen))))
Whats done is done, and whats to come is to come.
I know that sounds way too simple, but in reality you have two choices...spend between now and then worrying and ruining the day, or enjoy and face the day when it comes.
This is somewhat out of your control at this point, and you are at all like me, out of my control is not a comfortable place.
So...thats when I give it up...trust my HP that even that which looks bad on the surface, may be part of a greater plan.
What choice do I have...its way more than I can deal with, right?
Hang in there...do something nice for you becasue YOU DESERVE IT TODAY.
Prayers for a good outcome Gwen
((((hugs))))
Cece