what are the tell tale signs of using coke?? and letting go....
 

It is hard for me sometimes to tell if my ah is using....and what happens is he'll tell me he isnt using anymore,,,and if i dont know for sure, i start to believe him in a sense. Its like i need to know 100% or else i will start thinking that maybe i am wrong, and not relying on my own instintcs and judgement.

the main way in which i can tell he has used is that he doesnt go to sleep at a normal hour. Also, he wont eat very much dinner. His behavior is such that he gets very angry and yells but only when i bring up something he doesnt want to discuss or if i catch him in a lie or i call him on something...his reaction is to go into a rage, tell me i am torturing him, and that way, i cant touch him.... Also, on weekends he does nothing physical..he just lays on the couch and oes on his laptop.

also, i used to be to find white powder on the bathroom counters, but havent in a while...

as you all can see from my posts and i can see from talking to someone in my naranon group today and as i am writing this post is that i am way too into this....i am always thinking and worrying about him and what he is doing...when i should be concentrating on myself..and my kids....
i just cant help it....but also i am thinking to myself that if he is still using it will in some how some way rear its ugly head and i will know one way or the other...
also, he said he is changing his cell phone number so that certain "people" cant contact him anymore....but how do i know he isnt getting a second cell phone, which he had done in the past....i guess i just dont know...but there i go again..
i really need help in just letting go......I need to let go...why is it so hard for me to do????

How do I know.... I am letting go?

I can tell I am letting go when I find myself thanking my Higher Power for allowing me to enjoy a day worry-free. When I find myself in meeting after meeting, and not even talking about my "qualifiers". When I find myself making an Alanon call... or even better, receiving one.

When I drive myself AWAY from my addict and find something that I truly enjoy... the mountains, the river, the woods... or just a book to take me there.

It takes time AND action, Drained Wife. I have to "act as if" for a time, until alternatives to snooping and checking become a habit.

I hope this helps.