How to counter the justification of "just smoking pot"
How to counter the justification of "just smoking pot"
My bf has been using pot for the last several months smoking only at night after work. He claims it helps him at the end of the day. He justifies it by saying he is going to work every day and does not smoke during the day and only a little at night. Well his little at night pot smoking has led to a few times of coke use. Coke makes him nasty and he hates it and himself after he's done it. He is going back into an out-patient program on Tuesday but is still quacking about just smoking pot!
Any one else ever deal with this? I know I can't counter his justification it's a waste of my time, guess I justed needed to vent.
Any one else ever deal with this? I know I can't counter his justification it's a waste of my time, guess I justed needed to vent.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: reality
Posts: 156
I had a similar thing going with my exabf who drank...and the drinking eventually led to full scale relapse and the coke turned him into a jerk. Sheesh, compared to drugs the drinking didn't seem all that bad, but you know, he never went off and did stupid things when he was sober, drinking was always the first step to stealing or drugs or irresponsibility.
basically, any one in the field knows -- addicts just can not do any drugs of anysort, they even have to be careful with prescribed things.
basically, any one in the field knows -- addicts just can not do any drugs of anysort, they even have to be careful with prescribed things.
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 471
My STBXAH is the master of the "Just a Little Pot" routine. But Just a Little became a joint before work, a joint after work, and a joint at night. That became another joint between the afternoon and night one, which became another one overnight, which became another during "breaks" at work, which became leaving jobs frequently to get stoned...which I suspect became Just a Little Pot and Just a Few Beers and Just a Few Pills and Just a Few Snorts.
No such creature as Just A Little for an addict!
No such creature as Just A Little for an addict!
Just a little pot lead my XABF to smoking it all day like one smokes cigarettes. Just a little pot had him growing, buying and selling it.
Just a little pot.. and he is one of the biggest life failures I have ever known..
Flunked out of High school.
Flunked out of college.
Flunked out of the army.
Flunked as a dry cleaner.
Flunked as a process server.
Flunked as a skip tracer.
Flunked at every 'relationship" he ever had because he cheated on everyone.
Flunked in his photography business.
Flunked his steady job with benfits.
Flunked anything and everything that requires an effort.
Spent most of his life running some sort of underhanded scam to make money.
Sort of like every crisis could wait after another hit on the Bon Pipe.
He is now 52.. almost 53.. and he has heart disease, doesn't even have the 40 quarters necessary to get social security, has no job (again), has no money, is sharing a house with 3 other people and a dog, has no phone, has a married GF and really.. nothing at all.
But ya know.. it is OK.. cuz it is "only pot..."
Substance abuse is substance abuse in a recovering addict. Same as alcohol is alcohol for a recovering alcoholic (having a beer is not different than having a shot).
If he is in recovery, he is sober (not using ) or he is not in recovery and is active (using). Matters not the drug of choice.
Just a little pot.. and he is one of the biggest life failures I have ever known..
Flunked out of High school.
Flunked out of college.
Flunked out of the army.
Flunked as a dry cleaner.
Flunked as a process server.
Flunked as a skip tracer.
Flunked at every 'relationship" he ever had because he cheated on everyone.
Flunked in his photography business.
Flunked his steady job with benfits.
Flunked anything and everything that requires an effort.
Spent most of his life running some sort of underhanded scam to make money.
Sort of like every crisis could wait after another hit on the Bon Pipe.
He is now 52.. almost 53.. and he has heart disease, doesn't even have the 40 quarters necessary to get social security, has no job (again), has no money, is sharing a house with 3 other people and a dog, has no phone, has a married GF and really.. nothing at all.
But ya know.. it is OK.. cuz it is "only pot..."
Substance abuse is substance abuse in a recovering addict. Same as alcohol is alcohol for a recovering alcoholic (having a beer is not different than having a shot).
If he is in recovery, he is sober (not using ) or he is not in recovery and is active (using). Matters not the drug of choice.
You know, one of the things addicts are really bad at is math. When they say they are doing "a little" of something, you need to multiply the little by 3!
They also flunked English. For instance, if they say something like, "It was awful, I don't want to do it anymore," that could be a dangling participle, addict-style. A clearer statement might be to say, "That was awful, I don't want to do it anymore so i will check out these other interesting and colorful drugs."
And geography? First they gotta find their own driveway!
Hugs and strength (((atalose))) ~~ Nitelite
They also flunked English. For instance, if they say something like, "It was awful, I don't want to do it anymore," that could be a dangling participle, addict-style. A clearer statement might be to say, "That was awful, I don't want to do it anymore so i will check out these other interesting and colorful drugs."
And geography? First they gotta find their own driveway!
Hugs and strength (((atalose))) ~~ Nitelite
Some of the most persistent addicts in my life are "only" pot addicts. They do nothing. They go no where. They philosophize their lives away.... in their single wide trailers, with their overflowing laundry and their unwashed dishes. Wow, man.
I can no more tolerate that behavior than the crazy chaos of other addictions.
It all leads to the same destination...
I can no more tolerate that behavior than the crazy chaos of other addictions.
It all leads to the same destination...
I know plenty of people who smoke pot and don't fit the lazy stereotype.
That said, this is your home too and if you don't want someone doing something illegal in your home then you are going to have to put your foot down and stop it. To do that you have to know in your heart that this is a dealbreaker for you and stick to it.
The other part is the pot "leads to coke". I call BS on that one. He's not a pothead who snorts coke sometimes - he's a druggie.
Strength
That said, this is your home too and if you don't want someone doing something illegal in your home then you are going to have to put your foot down and stop it. To do that you have to know in your heart that this is a dealbreaker for you and stick to it.
The other part is the pot "leads to coke". I call BS on that one. He's not a pothead who snorts coke sometimes - he's a druggie.
Strength
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