Jen

Well.........I met, again, with the banker regarding the trust and will I'm setting up. Should something happen to me, I certainly don't want their addicted father handling the funds for any reason, whatsoever. Not that I have a whole lot of $$ but........you know!

Anyway, I was speaking to the banker and I stressed to her that I didn't want the money to go to my children *IF* they too become addicts (even though my boys are only 6 & 7). She completely understood and told me to make sure I include any stipulation in this regard. I told her I knew it must sound ridiculous but I don't want them using the money for that. She asked if I was willing to put a clause in it asking it to only be used for rehab. I really don't think I do. An addict has to want to help him/herself and I can just see the $$$ being used on several rehabs and I'm not going to do it. I guess if the children were still minors, this would be something to consider.

This may sound callous and cold but after living with an addict I've learned to protect MYSELF.

It's amazing some of these issues "real people" probably don't ever have to think about. However, I'm thankful I've learned from living with an addict no matter how horrible the situation "was".

On another note, I did tell my exah I forgive him for all he's done. I simply left it at that and I truly feel that way. We've been divorced one year this month and WOW do I feel better!!!


Anyway, just wanted to share!

Thanks again to all!!

Jen

outonalimb

((((((Jen)))))

Ya know...I just went thru all of this too. I also set up a trust for my son in the event that something happens to me. With God as my witness, my son WILL have an excellent education. I may not be able to control much where he is concerned after I die but there is NO WAY that money intended for my son's future will go to the drug dealers or local party stores. They already got enough of my hard earned money and stole enough from my son's college fund!!!!!

I'm so proud of you. ITs not easy to think about what would happen to our boys if something were to happen to us but its the most loving and responsible thing we can do for them under the circumstances. Its too bad that we can't leave this earth knowing that their father would step up to the plate and be responsible but I think we're pretty smart to know whats likely to happen upon our death and work to prevent it.

I'm glad you're feeling so good about things Jen. You've fought an honorable and tough battle and you've emerged a much wiser, stronger, and more compassionate person. You go, girl!!!!!!!!

Love ya,
Mary

Ann

Jen, it's a shame that we have to consider addiction even after our death.

I'm glad you are getting some good legal advice and hope you won't need it for another 140 years.

Hugs