OT Do I attend or not?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
OT Do I attend or not?
Today I was looking at the paper and saw that my father in law passed away. The funeral is Friday morning. No one from the family is speaking to me, but I want to go and pay my respects to the man I thought of as a father. Do I go and say the He** with everyone else or do I go to the grave after to pay my respects?
Thanks for any advise
Thanks for any advise
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 333
I think it would be best for everyone if you did not attend the services and as soon as they are over and it clears out you go up. I have done the same thing for my own reason but mainly so there would be nothing done at the funeral to cause problems. If you cared for this man, he knows it and he will understand your decision. If you go up there despite thier wishes it seems more like proving a point to them that they cant stop you, that could take away from the real reason that you are there, to honor your friend. Just my two cents.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
If it would hurt the family, I would not go during the service, but perhaps before or after.
If you aren't sure, I would err to the side of not hurting the family.
You know he will know. (((hugs)))
If you aren't sure, I would err to the side of not hurting the family.
You know he will know. (((hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i am sorry about your father in law. in answer to your question i do not think i would go to the funeral. they are in enough pain with out you since they are not speaking to you.i do not know the circumstances with all of this,you did not say.i think i would wait & go to the grave after the services. i would however send a card addressed to the family or maybe flowers to the funeral home.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
pjbs55,
The way I see, although you didn't ask...LOL
is: your FIL is not there in that funeral home, anyway.
And I'm sure he would be as happy as punch if you go to the cemetary on a nice Summer day, and leave him some flowers....and have a chat...
The way I see, although you didn't ask...LOL
is: your FIL is not there in that funeral home, anyway.
And I'm sure he would be as happy as punch if you go to the cemetary on a nice Summer day, and leave him some flowers....and have a chat...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
Thank you everyone. I went through a nasty divorce and my kids are not speaking to me because of the addiction. I have not seen the rest of the family so I don't know if they would mind if I went or not. I did send my ex an email and said I would like to pay my respects to Dad, so I'll wait and sees what he says.
I will call the funeral home and see if I can go before the viewing which is in the church an hour before the funeral.
I will call the funeral home and see if I can go before the viewing which is in the church an hour before the funeral.
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