HKAngel24

So I had a fabulous vacation. Did not really think about abf.
Relaxed and did not have ANY worries.
Yesterday I got home. Saw him for a bit last night. Things were okay. He was sober and hopeful. We had a talk about how I need to take care of me and that I want stability and I need to find it within myself.

Today I go onto my Myspace page and I have this anonymous, curt note from someone informing me that my bf has been cheating on me and I am naive if I think otherwise. It was very nasty and disturbed me greatly.
I believe that he is deeply involved with drugs, but truly hadn't believed that he was cheating on me. This girl that he supposedly has been with is not even slightly attractive- which I know is not a pre-req for cheating but I mean come on I really can't believe he would do something with her.

I just feel so angry.

cinderellawkids

Is she an addict too?

If so and its possible he uses with her Id go with your gut. Attractiveness has NOTHING to do with cheating

cece1960

Well, what does your gut tell you?

If you're truely not sure, then I would not let a gal on MySpace (which by the way has a rep for causing havok in relationships) convince you.

You can ask him...doubt it will get very far.

Sadly, sometimes we never get all the answers we seek. The trick is to decide what we can live with (be it suspicion or fact) and what we can't.

Wishing you peace and clarity
((((Hugs))))
Cece

Elana

Mine was cheating too. Drugs are one deal breaker and this is another deal breaker. Once a cheat always a cheat. Once an addict always an addict (just a question of acrtive or recovery!).

I met her one day a couple of weeks after he moved out. I saw her and my first thought was 'he left me for THAT?"

On an different forum he is claiming to have "changed fields and is doing something more lucrative now..." since he grows pot I wanted to respond, "Oh yeah? I thought it was a Green house not a field...." I am sure she is a supporter of his "more lucrative field..."

I didn't say that. I did respond by saying, "Great1 Now you can pay me back the money you owe me..."

Use anger to get thru it and walk out the other side all new.

Be angry and use it to get past it. You are too good for him.

kj0975

I agree get mad and use it to move on. I'm sure he will just say we are broken up so I can do and be with who ever I want to be with. Or like an addict he will just lie. I think its time to cut off ALL contact with him and stop letting him rent space in your head that can be used for better things. Its easier said than done but everyone here has been hurt and had their heart broken at one time or another non addict and addict. In time we get over it and it the heart heals and we will move on come out on the other side better for learning things we thought we would never learn and learn to trust ourselves and learn we bring our own happiness. Time to let go time to move on time to live for YOU and YOUR happiness. If he wants to be with someone else he will and he will still play on your feelings for him and use this other girl too and surley will tell her lies about u and everything else. It happens.... Been there....... Time will heal your broken heart and your anger will subside but that happens when he is totally out of your life and u totally let go of him and realize he isnt going to be the one to give u what u want out of life nor will he be the one to make u happy. I wish u luck. Set your myspace to private and it will stop unwanted messages. U dont know what he is telling people either. I usually later found out that he told people that I was phycho and wouldnt leave him alone. Wasnt true but usually made his current gf's hate me so he knew we wouldnt talk and find out he was playing us both.

HKAngel24

Cheating by far is the BIGGEST deal breaker.
But I truly in my gut do not think he would cheat on me...
But then why in the name of heavens would someone want to hurt me like that? It makes absolutely no sense to me!

I just feel pretty beaten. When I think I've made so much progress some other drama spurts up and I feel sick and angry all over again.

HKAngel24

And you know what... I have a choice.

I can CHOOSE not to let this completely destroy me or the serenity I gained from my vacation.
THAT drama does not have to affect me.
I guess I am just disturbed by the info and am afraid that in not allowing it to get to me- I am really being naive.

greeteachday

Heather, I'm glad that you have realized you can choose how you will react to this. Your anger is natural and whether this is the actions of a drama loving myspace nut or something is going on, you have choices regarding your next steps. I'm glad you have discovered that you control you and don't let others mess with your serenity! Hugs

teke

sorry heather, i know how this must make you feel but you do have choices, go with your gut. still praying for ya

kj0975

Its always hard to believe that a person we loved and trusted with our hearts would cheat on us. Unfortunatly its usually true. I never believed it when woman would come up to me and tell me they were with my ex I always got mad at the woman and would believe my EX. EX there is a reason why he is that now. I finally got it and realized he wasnt who I thought he was and he was lying the whole time and put my life in jeopardy by cheating on me and could have given me a disease without even thinking of me or my life. JERK!