Do you give pep talks to yourself?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 168
Do you give pep talks to yourself?
Haven't posted in a few weeks but do I wondered if everyone here gave advice to themselves?
My AH has been sober for 46 days today. He is laid off today, those are my hardest days... and probably his too. When he was was active in his addiction he would always use on the days he was laid off instead of doing something productive.
I try to give myself a pep talk to help: I tell myself the following things:
Let go, let God.
Nothing you can do or say will make him do the right thing, he has to want to stay sober for him.
you cannot control his addiction or his recovery.
and much more...
For me it makes me realize how horrible addiction is, I am suffering from my own form of addiction, my co-dependent ways. It is just so hard to break the cycle and change what you have become so used to- calling the house or cell phone 90 times a day, driving around looking for them, wondering and obsessing about what they are doing! WHEW! I used to leave work all the time to go look for him... Today, I still sit at my desk, promising myself that I will not pick up that phone and praying to my higher power to help me get through my day.
I pray that I come home to find a sober husband, but I know there are no gurantees in recovery. Today, I know I will be ok either way.
hugs to all,
Daisy
My AH has been sober for 46 days today. He is laid off today, those are my hardest days... and probably his too. When he was was active in his addiction he would always use on the days he was laid off instead of doing something productive.
I try to give myself a pep talk to help: I tell myself the following things:
Let go, let God.
Nothing you can do or say will make him do the right thing, he has to want to stay sober for him.
you cannot control his addiction or his recovery.
and much more...
For me it makes me realize how horrible addiction is, I am suffering from my own form of addiction, my co-dependent ways. It is just so hard to break the cycle and change what you have become so used to- calling the house or cell phone 90 times a day, driving around looking for them, wondering and obsessing about what they are doing! WHEW! I used to leave work all the time to go look for him... Today, I still sit at my desk, promising myself that I will not pick up that phone and praying to my higher power to help me get through my day.
I pray that I come home to find a sober husband, but I know there are no gurantees in recovery. Today, I know I will be ok either way.
hugs to all,
Daisy
Hugs, Marle
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Speaking of pep talk, I was driving home today nearly in tears. It seems like when I finally get rid of one serious problem, another equally serious one erupts.
I am now having trouble with the landlord. Something I have never had to deal with.
Anyway, I was thinking about how I must be cursed or something. That every step of my life has resulted in defeat.
Blah blah blah
Then, I reminded my self to ask HP, "what's wrong with my thinking?"
I snapped out of it, because I realize some have it way way way worse than me, and that I really do have a lot to thank HP for.
I am now having trouble with the landlord. Something I have never had to deal with.
Anyway, I was thinking about how I must be cursed or something. That every step of my life has resulted in defeat.
Blah blah blah
Then, I reminded my self to ask HP, "what's wrong with my thinking?"
I snapped out of it, because I realize some have it way way way worse than me, and that I really do have a lot to thank HP for.
Hug giver-outer!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
Yup, me too! And I don't care if anyone thinks I'm crazy - I'd be a lot crazier if I didn't give myself pep talks. Oh, and I also have a lot of those "saying" hung up everywhere! It helps to see them.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Texarkana, Texas
Posts: 585
I talk to myself (in my head) all the time!! And I talk to HP, the dogs, the goats, whatever. It helps!!! I also sing to my favourite songs. I like to turn old 70's and 80's music up in the car and sing real loud. Good thing no one can hear me!! LOL!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I talk to myself, to God, to the birds and to my cat and I am glad I am not alone in all this.
Affirming my own faith and recovery and asking to be led through my day all helps me to spend my day in the solution instead of in the problem. One of the many gifts of recovery is one you have already discovered...that no matter what today may bring you, you will be okay and all will be well.
Hugs
Affirming my own faith and recovery and asking to be led through my day all helps me to spend my day in the solution instead of in the problem. One of the many gifts of recovery is one you have already discovered...that no matter what today may bring you, you will be okay and all will be well.
Hugs
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Not only do I talk to myself, I leave myself sticky notes to remind myself WHAT to say when I am talking to myself!
At the height of the insanity, when I was first setting boundaries and practicing my recovery, I had notes near the phones and the doors. The ones by the phones said
"Wow. Really. Huh... That's an interesting way to look at that...."
When he called, the note reminded me that I had a choice to NOT be sucked into his drama. At that time I wasnt nearly strong enough to not answer the phone, but I was able to give neutral responses and not be sucked in
The one by the door simply said "Kaaa". If you don't know, Kaa is the python in the movie The Jungle Book. Mowgli knows he is dangerous, but Kaa has a certain way of speaking that hypnotizes and draws his prey towards him... and that's how I felt about my ex. That one word on the note helped me immensely.
At the height of the insanity, when I was first setting boundaries and practicing my recovery, I had notes near the phones and the doors. The ones by the phones said
"Wow. Really. Huh... That's an interesting way to look at that...."
When he called, the note reminded me that I had a choice to NOT be sucked into his drama. At that time I wasnt nearly strong enough to not answer the phone, but I was able to give neutral responses and not be sucked in
The one by the door simply said "Kaaa". If you don't know, Kaa is the python in the movie The Jungle Book. Mowgli knows he is dangerous, but Kaa has a certain way of speaking that hypnotizes and draws his prey towards him... and that's how I felt about my ex. That one word on the note helped me immensely.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Yep, I am guilty too. I talk to myself (in my head) all of the time. I think back when I used to call her phone constantly. Now I find myself turning my phone off when I am out with friends or just don't want to deal with anything. That for me is thinking more of myself and what I am chosing that is good for me at the time. For me this is progress. I think talking to ourselves helps us to sort things out. Sounds like talking to yourself is paying off.......keep up the good work
Hugs.............Lo
Hugs.............Lo
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