Lobo

The last time my daughter was in my home was about 5 days ago. She was in the house by herself because I had to go to work. I didn't feel real comfortable with that because I didn't know for sure what was going on with her. Well, I left and I recently discovered that she had taken my little pink picture album of my baby grandaughter's pictures. She has never seen the baby because her brother said she had to prove herself before she could be in his baby's life. Very sad I know, but like many things I have no control over that either. She did try to connect with him, but he didn't answer. So, when I discovered that the album was gone, I have been depressed about it. The whole situation saddens me. I guess she took it because that is the only connection she has to the baby. It had pics of great grandma, pics of me with the baby, pics of her brothers. At first I was mad that she took it, because my son made it for me........but in a way I'm glad she has it with her. I just don't know what to think..........I'm having trouble sorting out my feelings. I just feel really bad today. This is the first time she has taken anything and I think it was a good thing for her to take. The fact that she is so estranged from us is really what is making me sad. This just made it more real.

Thanks for your being here for me.............Lo

marle

Lobo, Maybe she needed that connection. She is probably feeling a little sad too. I remember writing my daughter a letter one time when we were both having a hard time dealing with her addiction. She kept that letter pinned to her refrigerator for over a year. When she moved with her abf, she took it with her. I believe that it held some meaning for her. Maybe it is the same for your daughter. So many things make us sad with addiction. Sending you some mom hugs, Marle

rozied

Lo I agree with Marle. I too think it holds a connection for her & I think if it were me I would be glad she had it. Addiction is so very sad. I too am now estranged from my son but now it is the only way I can deal with it.
Love & Hugs one mom to another,
Diane

Lobo

Marle, I do believe it is a way of her having a connection. I'm just having a bad day today. It makes me happy to think that letters and pictures mean someting to them.
We know the way they were raised and they have good inside of them. It is so sad that they have been taken away from us physically and all they have are momentos.
I guess that is really all I have of her too. Sometimes I feel like she died and she is no longer a part of our lives. Part of me feels that I would rather put her at peace than for her to live the way she is living. Crazy, huh? Sometimes I feel like I am grieving for her. Oh man......I am starting to cry now. What is wrong with me?
Thanks for the love, I need all I can get...........Lo

Lobo

Diane, I do understand being estranged is the only way we can deal with it. It is too painful to watch. I'm trying to find happiness without her in my life. Somedays are better than others. A lot of days I just feel flat. I go through the motions of what I have to do, but my heart isn't in many things anymore. Maybe I'll go out and work in the yard today. Sometimes doing something physical releases stress.
I'm so sorry that your son is not in your life right now.......we both understand each other.

Thanks for the hugs..........Right back at you.......Lo

marle

Lobo, I am having a sad day too and understand the feeling of just wanting them to be at peace. Hugs, Marle

havehope

Lobo
There is nothing wrong with you. You are a mom who loves her daughter. I too am estranged from my 20 yr old daughter.
Most days I can handle the sadness; today I woke up kinda sad also.
My youngest daughter had senior prom last night and graduation is next Sunday. All without my older daughter being a part of it.
Sad; but reality.
Sending mom hugs your way. I'm glad that family still means something to your daughter. I think that is a good sign.
Hugs and Love
Terri

Lobo

Marle, I went to the inspirations forum for the first time. It helped a little.

"Remember that it is up to you to find the key that unlocks the door to a more fulfilling life"

"Understand that increased difficulity brings you nearer to the truth of how to survive it and get beyond it"

Have you ever gone to that forum?

I'm glad someone understand my wanting peace for her. I'm sorry you are having a sad day too. It's kind of dreary here today and that doesn't help.
If I don't come back for a while.......I'm going out to get some mulch and try to do something to help myself feel better.

Hugs, Lo

mooselips

Lobo,
You know, perhaps one of those pictures will connect so deeply, that she'll contemplate her lifestyle, miracles happen.


Hugs to you,

teke

i agree with marle, maybe is misses you all just as much as you are missing her. that may just be all she feel that she has right now, we all know that that is not the truth, but its maybe her thoughts, i pray that she finds her way soon and i'm praying for strength for you. hopefully this is something that she will keep closer to her heart and will return it when she returns.

marle

Lobo, I am going to get busy cleaning the house and watching the Red Wings Hockey game. Cook some dinner and maybe take a nap. Dreary here too but tomorrow the sun is supposed to shine. Hopefully it will for you too. Hugs, Marle

Noah812

Lobo - I have not read all posts above yet. My take on it is you should not feel bad and I say that if wanting to have a connection with this baby if that is the worse thing she does, your fortunate. I think your son is selfish in his dealing with your AD. Of course he is trying to use his child as leverage to force AD to stop using, that will never work. My sister tried to do that to my stepfather with her first child, he died not having a relationship with his grandchild. It is his child but it is her family too and like other addicts represented here on SR they need that family connection if they behave themselves. I would tell your son the dog chewed it up and he can download and print more out for you. I think her wanting that connection is a possitive thing and should be encouraged not discouraged or used as a weapon against her. I am pro recovery with addicts in the family unit, the family has to huddle down and ride out the storm, the best they can, together. Try and not focus on what she did but why she did it....i don't think it is that big of a deal...take care

Wascally Wabbit

Perhaps that album will make her feel closer and she will do what she needs to do in order to have a relationship with the baby. Babies can have that affect on us!
I hope she finds sobriety and peace.

Lobo

Thank you all for your love and support. I agree that it is a good thing that she took the pics. That is her connection to her family. I too hope that it will make her think about us and want to be in our lives. Thanks for cheering me up. I sometimes don't know what I'd do if I didn't have people like you in my life to understand what I'm going through.
Thank you...................Lo

BigSis

(((Lobo)))) Sending lots of prayers for you ... and for your daughter.

Hoping today is a better one.

((hugs))