StarGazer6

Hey everyone, I just wanted to thank all of you for your support over the last few months. I haven't been on here for a few weeks but really appreciate everyone's help and kindness, it's gotten me through the worst after my breakup with my xabf of 5 years. It still hurts sometimes but not everyday anymore.

Just to refresh your memory, a month ago he came over unannounced late at night back on crack, maybe meth?? (not sure, didn't trust him anymore) after he had been in forced rehab for almost a month. Anyway, I haven't talked to him in over a month now. Life is quiet but better. I don't plan on talking to him again, unless he calls me (which will probably not happen), even though I occasionally miss him and how he was before the crack addiction. I even went on a date a couple of weeks ago! Nothing came of it but it made me realize that there ARE guys out there who don't have drug addictions and can be really fun.

I'm also going through with the big move back up to Huntington Beach on June 10th and I'm moving back in with my parents. They've been really cool about it and they have a really nice house with a pool and my golden retreiver will be there too (you might recall that I lost my cat a few weeks ago- she had a heart attack). I just feel lucky that I have loving parents and am glad to be leaving San Diego behind. It's humbling though after being on my own in college and a few years after that. It was really fun for a while but I think this will be best for me to be closer to more of my friends and to my family.

I'm glad I wrote everything down about the last couple of times I saw my ex on crack. It WAS really bad, it's easy to forget and I read my diary when I get lonely so that I remember how scary it was. I feel so sorry for him every day and wonder how much worse things will get for him. I can't believe how his life has turned out. I guess I should have predicted what would happen when he started hanging out with so many guys who do speed. I wish I could have saved him but there is a different plan for me. Sometimes I worry if he will call me, it's better to not know what's going on.

teke

thanks for the update, you sound really good about all of this and so does your recovery. glad to see that you are making such a positive move, hope things thrive for you there, let us know how you are. hope you have internet where you are going. keeping you and yours in my prayers

StarGazer6

Thanks Teke! You have been especially supportive. I'll have internet and I keep going on here for help, it's not over yet and I still have bad days but I just know that the worst is behind me.

teke

good for you, i'm so happy to hear that