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"does god have a clock?"

Old 05-17-2007, 11:50 AM
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"does god have a clock?"

that's what 4 year old nephew asked - i told him god would know when it was time for him and his 2 yr old brother to go home - he originally asked when his mom and dad would be better? - when they would come and pick him up? - you have to be honest right? - god will know the right time - i h ope his clock is working...

i'm crying now - these poor kids - i've had my moments of hysterics - when the two year old is pulling my two year olds hair or pouring paint over his head or scratching his face - but all, in all, it's been ok - or getting better...

- i can't do this by myself anymore - my husband has been helping with the kids - i don't mean that - i just mean supporting the kids mentally and financially - sister and bf were supposed to call everyday and talk to the kids - that was after sister had 2 weeks inpatient - in a week and a half they've called three times - they've sent $100 - they've promised they have money and they'll send it - i don't believe them anymore - they tell me i'm not supportive of their recovery efforts because i ask them honest questions - ie; if neither of you have jobs how will you pay for food, housing, etc...- they scream they hav eto get off the phone - honest my a$$...

today i called every social service office in illinois and indiana - i told them i need help - some sort of counseling for the kids - financial assistance - something - no one has called back - in two hours no one has called - i've managed to somehow f*&^ up the checking account (by hoping a mortgage pymt would be a day late - who am i kidding) it's my fault - money is money - i messed up - i thought sister and bf were truthful and would send the $ they said they would - why????????

let go and let god - let go and let god - it will be allright - the universe is unfolding as it should - i just needed to vent - and pray a l ittle - god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference -and god - could you tell me what time it is?...

love,
s
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Old 05-17-2007, 12:20 PM
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S, no advice, just wanted you to know I'm crying too. Little kids are so innocent and should be protected at all costs from this type of trauma.
Seems our govt orgs are totally messed up....there is SOOO much they can do as preventative measures, but prefer to wait until it's really, really bad and then spend 5times the taxpayer dollars as they would have if they addressed the problem at the beginning.
I know this sounds silly, but maybe if you tell them the kids were abused you could get immediate help? No other ideas, but don't stop demanding assistance...eventually someone will listen.
Hugs, Barb
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Old 05-17-2007, 01:25 PM
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you sure have your hands full.i guess you called social services.how about the county mental health center for therapy. do not depend on the mother, addicts r addicts. i would ring the hook off social services. sending big hugs & lots of prayers.
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Old 05-17-2007, 01:26 PM
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Sorry you an the kids are going through this. I look at my 4 yr old Grandson an cry alot too. I'll never understand how a mother can walk out the door an never think of thier child. It sounds awful but at times I almost hate my AD because sshe doesn't love her son enough too stay off drugs an away from drug users.
As far as getting help from social services a lady I know has temperory guradianship of her granddaughter (mothers in jail) anyway she told the ******* Health people what was going on, an they said she could get money from social service if she needed it. Do the kids have insurance if not might want to check it out then maybe they could tell you how to get some help.
Again I have to say the kids are very lucky to have you watching out for them an loving them. You an your husband are wonderful people.
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Old 05-17-2007, 01:30 PM
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Im sorry this is so tough. I feel the same way. Even MIL asked me today if middle son is okay, she's hardly acted previously like was worried for them, but in the 5 minutes we were picking up little man she noticed my 6 year old acting out aggressively. All I could say is I dont know.....He's got anger issues and emotional alot and just wont talk about it.

I still think though through it all they are better off with the addicts not day to day in their lives
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Old 05-17-2007, 03:28 PM
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still praying for all of you, you and those kids are going through a lot, hopefully an end will come soon. i'm so sorry, i know it has to be overwhelming
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Old 05-17-2007, 04:04 PM
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Oh Susan. Im so sorry. I can hear the fustration in your post and I want you to know that if parents cant tell you thank you for your efforts, I will. Thank you for everything you do to help those kids. it seems they need more love than ever now. From all your past post, you have lots of that. Just hold on and things will come into place. You have to keep faith.

As far as the promises from the parents, there will not be any truth to their words until they get the program of recovery. Two weeks isnt enough time to have all your ducks in a row to take those kids from you. Im thankful they are in recovery but they need to make more efforts if they want any kind of visitation of those kids. A $100? What a joke. That doesnt begin to cover the expenses of raising a child much less two. Three phone calls? That is cruel. Im sorry. Im ranting now. I just hate it when kids suffer. Not only do the kids suffer but your own family suffers as well. I would definitly get down to the family services office in person and tell them to do something NOW! Tell them you want numbers or paper work to start the ball rolling to get the help you need now. The office is probably swamped and are trying to help the demanding cases now but it sounds as if your case needs some major help now too.

As far as your kids go, maybe they are having a hard time adjusting to the addition of your sisters kids? Is there anyone you can take the other children for just a little time for yourselves maybe for a few hours? I hope you can find some solutions and soon.

Your a good person for taking those kids in Susan. Maybe this is just part of your HP plan for you? Have you considered talking to Family Services of paying you for Foster Caring for your nephews? Its another option. I know here they have those types of programs. It will help with the money part and hopefully reduce the stress some on you. PM me if you want any time Susan. I will brain storm to help if I can.
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Old 05-17-2007, 04:15 PM
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Sus,
You are an amazing person dealing with all of this, and so is your hubby. Kudos to both of you.

There has to be help out there somewhere.
Maybe someone has some resources.
All I can think of is Child and family services.

Hugs to you,
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Old 05-17-2007, 04:19 PM
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I just want to give you a *BIG HUGE HUG* for being such a loving, wonderful person.
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Old 05-17-2007, 04:26 PM
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God will richly bless you for taking care of his children.
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Old 05-17-2007, 04:39 PM
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Sending some hugs, you have your hands full. I sincerely hope that someone calls you back with some help. If they don't just keep calling. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Don't give up. Marle
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Old 05-17-2007, 05:04 PM
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((((itiswhatitis))))

What I know today, after some terrible, awful dark days.... "this too shall pass". Ann said it to me in a way I could hear when I first got here - "The difference between a good day and a bad day... is about two days. ...and often, far less."

You are in many minds and hearts today. Prayers do not go unanswered.... sometimes, it just takes a while for us to see HOW they've been answered.

When you call back those social service agencies, be sure to ask about respite care - the kind that is sometimes available to foster parents. Or day care allowance that might give you a break from time to time.

Thinking of you.... right this minute.
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Old 05-17-2007, 06:22 PM
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Dear S - Can't imagine what you are going through. It is enough for me with an AD who has only a dog and cat. We can all here be strong together and pray for you and the children. Remember you are never alone. Look after yourself - Sending Love and (((HUGS)))
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Old 05-17-2007, 07:30 PM
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Wow Whatitis, You have the soul of a saint. But let's talk options....(I'm a "solutions" person):
--don't bother to call social services; you will have to go down there, wait in line, get an appointment or maybe (and hopefully) get emergency food stamps or a card (or whatever your state has).
--If you do not have legal custody of the kid(s), then you need to get it ASAP, with or without the mother's permission because that is the only way you will be able to get Medicaid, WIC, and ADC benefits.
--the local women's shelter may be able to direct you to some assistance.
--If you really can't deal with the kids and can't get any help financially from the state, you can turn them into foster care. THat may seem harsh/hard, but if you go on the way you are doing with no help at all you may develop a serious medical condition and that is NO JOKE. It happens.
I wish you the best but you need to be pragmatic about the situation and come to grips with the fact that the parent(s) may or may not ever be well enough to support their children again. YOu might as well quit calling and asking them when are they going to get their **** together because it might be never. Plus, if you push them into getting the kids before they have it together, the kids might be in worse danger than before.
Good luck and the BIGGEST ((HUGS)))!!!!!!

Last edited by tropikgal2; 05-17-2007 at 07:31 PM. Reason: forgot a word
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Old 05-17-2007, 09:58 PM
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((Itiswhatitis)) Do you have a church family. I know the christian church that I go to helps people like you. They would help provide things for the children. Some of the church women would help you caring for the children. Even some meals. If you don't have one, maybe you could look for one. I bet you'll be glad you did. There are a lot of good people out there. As far as medical insurance for the children, I think if they don't have it the state will provide it. You could check children and family services to see what kind of rescources are available to you for them.
You have a lot on your plate, I wish I could reach out and help you.
Hugs and prayers..........Lo
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Old 05-18-2007, 08:17 AM
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thanks everybody - thanks from the bottom of my heart - today is a new day - thank god - for my two year olds sake - that's the hard part - my 2 year old doesn't see what's coming from my nephew - my poor lil 2 yr old nephew - he's so aggressive and just mean sometimes - my 2 yr old just doesn't understand - he!! i don't understand - yesterday was just a really stressful day - and i stressed out on everyone - thank god i went to a great meeting last nite - thank god...

i've been through (well in my head) all these different scenarios - i am kind of a result oriented person too - social services are out of the question for aid as my husband makes too much - but child protective services is seeing about medicaid, etc - i do need to file for custody of the kids - nothing changes if nothing changes - and i don't think my sister and her bf are capable of following through on anything they promise - but we do need some sort of help - they did send a paper stating they granted temporary custody of the kids to myself and husband - the problem lies in taking the kids from illinois to indiana - that's where it becomes complicated (being a foster parent, etc) no state wants the burden - catholic charities (which works with dcfs in IL) would love to help but i need to give the kdis to relatives in il - (there aren't any willing participants there) things are getting better with the kids - the 2 yr old nephew just has a lot of issues - i know (in my head) he wants attention but he gets this evil grin and then whacks someone - it's just creepy - the 4 year old is great - he's just old enough to understand that if mom and dad don't have food and electric he doesn't want to live there - he has his moments but he's pretty settled...

so cps in IN gaveme the number of a social service agency for families not in the system but having *issues* - i called yesterday and no one called back - i also have a call in to legal services - we can file for some sort of custody/guardianship and then go from there - keep praying - i know god has a plan and i know it will be ok - i just hope my 2 yr old nephew never finds oil based paint to throw on my two year olds head - it will never come off...

thansk again everyone...

love,
s
sorry crisis looming....
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