28 day programs
 

daughter is in a 28 day inpatient - a week away from release to halfway/outpatient. it's such a shame that insurance forces those release dates. just the anticipation of the date causes so much stress and all. i've been talking with all the folks who are getting close to release and they really shut down the last week or so. it's a shame, that's all..

k

I agree that 28 days is just a start, but I know many many people who have done very well after that. No matter how they do it, I think that the success rate of recovery is proportionate to the person's willingness to get clean and stay clean.

Sending prayers out for your daughter, that she can stay on a good path.

Hugs

the program she went to before had no set release date - residents were released when they got to the end of step 3 or so. i don't know if it was better, but it sure eliminated this "last day of school" kind of response...

a lot of clock watching going on in there. and it's not that many of them are not committed to the program and sobriety, i think it's just human nature to go into that end is near/day count mode?

just talking outloud.

(NICE SLIPPERS, ANN!)

K, I'm sorry I forget how old your AD is, but if she is old enough, I highly recommend the Oxford House groups. 28 days is nowhere near enough time!
I often wonder if AS had gone right into the Oxford House after his last rehab, instead of coming home and doing "outpatient" treatment, if he wouldn't have relapsed. He was sneaking it at home before rehab, so natch sneaked it again AFTER rehab. I think they need an entirely diff environment from where they were using in the past.
He's promised to stay "at least" a full year in his Oxford House, longer, if he needs it. And it seems that's where you will find the long time recovering addicts. Most of the guys in house have many years under their belts and cannot be "quacked at" like a parent can be. They have "heard it all" before!
Hope this is a viable option for your daughter.
Hugs, Barb
OH YEA, watch out for Ann's bunny slippers! They might be cute, but they are steel-toed! hehe!

i agree with ann and secret mom, i think that no matter how long the stay is, its up to the individual to stay sober if they want to. the first time i got clean, i was clean 9 yrs before i relapsed and i only spent 7 days in detox. it was when i stopped going to meetings, working the program that i got complacent and relapsed. i think the 28 day programs are not enough but i also know people who have stayed yrs in the in house programs only to walk away and use. the programs are like schools, teaching all the tools needed and giving a start on the healing of emotional issues. helping the addict to learn how to live life on lifes terms without drugs, and space away from the drugs to do that or to learn to do that. it helps the addict to look at himself, hopefully taking away the reasons used to want to medicate with drugs. elliminate the pain and you take away some of the excuses to use. the real work comes after rehab, when they are on the outside.

there is a lot of fear in leaving that controlled enviroment. meetings, getting a sponsor and working the steps is one of the most important keys to recovery after rehab. it still all boils down to how bad the addict wants to recover and whether or not he is willing to do whatever he had already learned by going through rehab and meetings. it has to be a desprate commitment to staying clean and getting sober. i think i'm rambling now, so i'll just keep praying for you and yours

I remember that dread, Parentrecovers... it was awful.

Today, I have the experience of MANY of those "last day of school" days. Daughter finished 3 30-day rehabs, was kicked out of another, went to a recovery house for 2 of the three months (kicked out) and went into an Oxford House for 2 months (kicked out).

Today, I know that the rehabs were mostly a kind of "school" and that my kid can only learn so fast... sort of like us, here. We can learn stuff intellectually, but emotional learning takes TIME.

Going into an Oxford House, for both of my kids, took the onus of ME! I didn't have to tippy-toe around, or play jailer,or play doctor, or play mother-to-kids-who-need-to-grow-up-now.

My son completed a 28-day program, went directly to an Oxford House and spent a year there and in recovery. When he moved into his own place, he decided to go back to drinking and smoking again.


I would probably still be ... worried today if I was anticipating a homecoming from rehab. But I think it would take me less time to get centered again.

Double and triple up on meetings, I know that helped me.

((hugs))

Now if I could have it MY way... (My HP is screaming, "Now THAT would be trouble... :)), I'd outlaw 28 day places. I tend to feel better with loooooooong term rehabs. But since I don't have that authority, I have to go with the thought process of every little bit of time in rehab/recovery is better than none. And I also have to realize that the HP has the plan and has your daughter right where she needs to be. I know we don't always understand the process or the plan, but I've found I have to believe that Step 2 of the 12 steps:

"Came to believe a power greater than myself ...." and that means came to believe if he can restore me to sanity, he can also do it for my AD and your AD.

Prayers for you and your daughter, Parent, cause I know the feeling. Hit the meetings as Big Sis says!

Hugs,
Hangin' In
P.S. I do know I am not the expert on nuttin', so take what you like and leave the rest. :)

Hi parent,
I look at as 28 days off the street and 28 days of some structure, surrounded by alot of good recovery. What she does after this is up to her. I agree about the stress we all feel during transitions- I'm feeling it too because I know that in a couple of months my son will be done with his probation and able to leave the facility he's at. I'm doing better about it because I've found a new meeting that I like alot. Maybe it'll help you to go too? I always tell myself that the program or time spent there is not a factor...it is and will remain the same: willingness to do what they know is right. Whatever works, works.
hugs,
cmc

i remember when my as was in a 30 day program. its like we had him back again, im like you i wish they could stay longer. the program he was in was around $15,000. and my insurance covered all but about $4000.00 i paid that gladly then, because i was so naive as to think we cured him. i do understand because of the expense why the insurance companies are so ready to get them out of there. as always its a profit thing. one thing i truly regret is not making him go to a halfway or oxford house directly out of rehab. now i look back and see how his chances of staying in recovery would have been much better than with us.

we're actually very blessed - our insurance will cover 73 inpatient days this year, and all the outpatient. and therapy sessions.

but what she does with them - agreed - up to her.

we looked at oxford, it is a great program. we're lucky to live in an area where there she had many other options.

this is her second rehab. she did almost 90 days of inpatient last fall, and then another 90 in halfway - before her relapse. we're all about treatment over here.

praying it's making a difference. she goes on her own (she's just turning 23, so it's adult admission/release) - gets it intellectually. the heart part is taking longer.

blessings, k

Maybe you girls can help me. Around here everything is a long waiting list to get into rehabs. In the meantime you could die trying to get in. What if you don't have medical insurance. I had to send my AD to expensive rehabs because they were the only ones who would take her right away and without insurance they were happy to take my cash. What I am saying is, if my AD came home today and said I want to go to rehab, it just wouldn't happen. Then you have the waiting period and by then she might have a change of heart. I would like to take action right away, but here in Pgh. I haven't found that to be possible. She has always had to go out of state.
Maybe I just don't know the right buttons to push. If anyone has any help on this, please let me know so if the time would come I would have somewhere to go with her.

I also think 28 days is not enough time. The last time my AD went away she had a 3 month program. If I could have afforded more she could have stayed longer.

Thanks for your help, girls. Keeping you in my prayers Parentcovers so when you and your daughter reunite it will be all good.

Hugs............Lo

hey lobo, i always hear about free programs for men, but in our area (chicago) - we have NEVER found one for women. it is terrible, i think. i guess you could call your local/county health dept for ideas? many programs suggest sliding scale possibility. but then with us, they take a look at our insurance and we never qualiify. you may, and sure hope so. we (husband, daughter, and i) have spent so much $ this past year, so i understand the problem. we fight the dollars and cents all the time. it is tough.

we need more free programs for women with addiction!

Here is a link that may help.

http://www.samhsa.gov/treatment/treatment_public_i.aspx

If you do the advanced search there will be a place to enter sliding scale or payment assistance.

I Dont Know Around Here Either. As Is In Jail And Goes To Court Monday. I Suspect They May Order Some Type Of Rehab Program. Hes 19 Will Be 20 In July, Has No Job, No Money, No Place To Live, Has Anyone Had This Experience, Will The State Pay Or Will They Charge It To Him Or Will I Have To Pay If I Want Him To Go

Glory Thanks For The Website, I Never Knew It Existed

My as is in a rehab and still has another week to go. I just spoke to him and he said they moved him to a house-like setting with 8 guys. The girls are next door. He likes this alot better. Says the other building was like a hospital room. Maybe since it's more comfortable, he'll want to stay as long as possible. I'm hoping he gets to stay at least 28 days. I hope his insurance will cover that long. He says there are people there that have been there for 3 months. Boy would I love that. He just got off his meds yesterday, and isn't feeling too well.

I don't think we have any Oxford House's in Philly. I'm going to half to check out my options. I told him this has got to be the end of the road, for his drug use. One can only hope.

Checked out website. What does sliding-fee scale mean? I was checking out the payment options.

Lake.............Not sure what they do if he has no finanical means of paying for anything. I know we have state funded programs here. They are hard to get into. I imagine if you are sentenced to one then you go right away. My AD was in a state funded facility once. I did have to agree with her.....it was awful. Legally you are not responsible for him at the age of 19. However if you want him to go to a better place than a state facility then they might allow that at your expense. I guess under those circumstances you might have to go to his hearing and talk to his attorney to let him know you would be willing to do that if you choose to.
This is just food for thought.........just not sure.
Lo

I heard Salvation Army has a free and VERY good program. Also check out Valley Hope Association. It is still expensive without ins, but about 1/2 the cost of the traditional rehabs and a very effective program. I think they will work with you on payments, but if your addict isn't serious about getting sober it won't work. It isn't a typical institutional type rehab. They have rules but give patients enough rope to mess up if they aren't serious... and they are promptly kicked out. It is more a structured and supportive environment who really want to recover and transition back into society.. maybe slowly, thru a 1/2 way or 3/4 way house, a different place altogether, but they are non profit and it is what has worked so far for my RAS, 4 mo sober. They do help you find 1/2 and 3/4 houses if that is what is best for one leaving an inpatient center.

Good luck to you, my friend.

louise - not sure if you got an answer - sliding scale means they base the fee on what the patient (or whoever is signing up to pay the bill) is earning/able to pay. don't know what it means if there is no money available.

we've learned not to sign a thing. when we sign, the bills come to us everytime :)

about 3/4 houses - the first place my daughter went was a 3/4 - not enough structure or outpatient treatment to make a dif for her. this time - she's going to a traditional half way with more rules.