Think AS Back In Jail

Old 05-16-2007, 07:19 AM
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Think AS Back In Jail

I didn't hear from my son since the day before yesterday & thought there might be trouble or that his phone was turned off. This AM my SS tells me I don't have to worry about my AS anymore as he is back in jail.
Well what can I say at least I know where he is. He is in the hands of his HP & that is where I intend to leave him.
Reading the bk Co-Dependent No More & am up to chapter 5, the one titled Detachment. I have also sent for The Manipulative Child. I am seriously thinking about going to a face to face meeting as I think as a co-dependent it will help me more than counseling.
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Old 05-16-2007, 07:24 AM
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let it grow!
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get as much help and support as you can, rozied - you deserve it!

prayers to you and your son. i sure hope he finds his way up.

blessings, k
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Old 05-16-2007, 07:32 AM
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Thanx K, I do believe I deserve it. I have always been there for my kids but they r now 40 & 33. I need time for me & my husband.
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Old 05-16-2007, 07:35 AM
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let it grow!
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oh, i hear you. my husband and i have been lucky to steal a night out this past year. at least one that doesn't revolve around thoughts and conversation about our daughter. will your hubby do alanon? my husband and i go together. we have dinner out before. it is very helpful, has strengthened our relationship in many ways. if not, go alone, and lead by example - that's ok too!
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Old 05-16-2007, 07:42 AM
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I can't adequately express the difference that my live meetings made in my life.

Like many, I avoided going thinking I could handle it myself, and like most who have gone, I found a renewed hope for MY life and a desire to do whatever I needed to do to find a better way to live. Live meetings literally saved my life and I will always be grateful.

Prayers for your son, Rozied, and for you too. I know what a struggle this has been because I've been through it myself. If I can do it, so can you.

Hugs from my heart
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Old 05-16-2007, 07:48 AM
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I don't know what I thought meetings were for, but now that Ann articulated it - that describes me to a "T". I thought I could handle it myself.

I got so baaaddddd before I would work a program.... then once I did - MAN, the change has been incredible.

I am glad you are considering face to face meetings and my prayers are that jail turns out to be exactly what your AS needs.

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Old 05-16-2007, 08:20 AM
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Sorry about your son. But I'm one of those parents that always feel better knowing they're warm, safe, and dry, instead of their being to being out and about.

Meetings, good gosh, they're a wonderful source of comfort for us.

(I also thought I could go it alone...wrong, wrong, wrong......)

Hugs to you,
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Old 05-16-2007, 08:21 AM
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Just adding some hugs. At least you know he's not using if he's in jail. Did his bio dad ever call him?
Love, Barb
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Old 05-16-2007, 03:08 PM
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grateful rca
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i'm sorry rozied, like you said at least you know where he is and in my opinion, he's safer. i think that alanon would be good for you even if you kept going to see your counselor
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Old 05-16-2007, 03:26 PM
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f2f meetings are wonderful and will give you an entire new outlook and soooooooooooo much support. it gives a new meaning to the word safe, when you think your child is safe when they're in jail.
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Old 05-16-2007, 03:32 PM
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Rozied, Sending some hugs. Like the others have said, you know where he is. I am thinking about getting the book "The Manipulative Child" too. Hugs and prayers for you, Mr. Rozied, SS and for you AS. Marle
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Old 05-16-2007, 03:34 PM
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Thanks everyone, Parentrecovers, Ann, Mooselips, Barb, Teke, & Big Sis, I also feel beter knowing hes in jail. At least I know he is not conning my poor parents out of money. I really don't know why he is there & I really don't care to know. He evidently lied about the credit union & the overdrawn cking accout as he recieved another letter from them stating his account wass over by $2,800 or something like that & unless he called to make arrangements legal action would be taken. I guess iIhave to call them but am going to at least wait till I find out why he is in jail now.
He had told me about this BUT he also told me arrangements had been made.
You all are right about doing it alone..............I can't & so I am going to call a woman on my list & see if there is a mtg before next Monday close enough for me to go to. Parentrecovers Mr Rozied is more than agreeable & went with me to the last mtg I went to. You have a good idea about making it a nite out & I am thinking about doing it too. Thanx.
Barb No my ex never has called bk & I am glad. He had told me when he called he was not ready to talk to his sons. I never have told either of them he called. I believe the REAL reason he called was to try & find out exactely how long we were married so he could collect SS under my name. I have HUGH doubts even if he got money if his boys would ever see a penny. I certainly am not holding my breath.
I am exhausted from all of this.
I am going to lay down & watch tv & veg out completely. Tomorrow is another day. Then I will deal with some of it.
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Old 05-16-2007, 03:41 PM
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Thanx Blue Pansy & Marle, The drama never ends unless you end it & even when you try you still hear about all of it.
So tired of all of it. Now my mom is telling my SS it is my fault for AS being messed up cuz of what he went through when he was growing up.............give me a break, I took him to child psychologists. a psychiatrist for family counseling when I got divorced. I believe once you know better you make your own choices. I am not even going to get into it with my mom. My SS even told me he heard from my mom that my dad put AS's car in my dads name. I cannot believe my dad would risk everything he owns knowing AS has no drivers license. If it is true I am pretty sure my mom knew........she claimed she only found out now.
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Old 05-16-2007, 05:24 PM
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Rosied, you really are a great inspiration. I have had to do the same thing with my sons.
As for the codependant no more, I have bought at least 20 copies and gave them all away. I have got to learn to keep one for myself! It's an awesome book.
I went to those meetings up north, but they barely have alanon here, so into alanon I go.
Take care.
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Old 05-16-2007, 08:07 PM
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Stand up for your own rights. And your life! Let him learn his lessons. You have your husband to think about. Go enjoy life with him.
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Old 05-16-2007, 09:15 PM
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Things just change from day to day. It seems we never know what we will have to put up with next. I am praying for peace and comfort for you during this time. He will be okay. Time to take care of you.

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Old 05-16-2007, 09:18 PM
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i know this is hard but u are doing so good in your works if you work it & it sounds like u are. i am praying for your son that he will find himself.hugs & prayers for you.
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Old 05-16-2007, 09:22 PM
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I'm late coming in with support.
Sorry to hear your son's in the pokey.
Praying for his rock bottom right along with ya.
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Old 05-17-2007, 01:24 AM
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Thanx WW, Sun, Lo, Book, & Hope, Thanx for the support. I still don't know anything but evidently AS called SS & SS has stuff written down to tell me. I did NOT want to deal with any of this yesterday so I didn't. I did get some sleep, am now up ( obviously! ) but will try & sleep more before morning.............
Hugs To Everyone
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Old 05-17-2007, 11:56 AM
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Well my AS is bk in jail. He called my SS last nite & said he was arrested for Assault. This is a first for my son & I believe what his exact words to my SS were " Something new to add to my record " Now here he is trying to dump the business of his car into the family's lap. He has no license so put the car in some " friends " the car is impounded. He gives my SS the name of the impound and the phone number plus he tells SS the guy whose name the car is in must sign a release before it can be taken from the impound. We all know it is going to cost money to get the car out..........................where does my AS think its going to come from? Oh yes of course, the family should lay out the money. I am not even calling my mom about this. I will wait until tonite when she is at bingo & tell my dad. He has the right to know since he paid for the car & all the repairs. Mr Rozied is upset by all of this cuz some way my parents usually involve me. It does bother me that my dad who is now 87 must do all this running around if he wants the car back. I know this is what my husband is afraid of......I will get involved to help my dad. The impound is at least an hr & a half ride from our house & a visit to the prison would be necessary to have this guy sign the release. I think my dad would rather get the car instead of losing all the money he has spent, my dad could use the car.
My AS has a pattern of doing this...........making a mess of things, going to jail & having us clean the mess up. We are all so tired of it.
Thanks for listening to me vent,
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