HKAngel24

I think this may be a no brainer, but here goes...

I am leaving Thursday to go on a vacation- returning on Sunday night.
ABF still has my keys.
Now he has never taken anything from me in the past or done anything of this nature.
But... I feel SCARED to ask for the keys back.

I do not care if he leaves his other stuff here, but considering that I've come face-to-face with the reality that his using has gotten worse and continues to without any acknowledgement from him- I am not sure what the appropriate action is.
I feel guilty, too and do not want to set him off on an angry tirade, spewing obscenities and emotionally damaging things- telling me he never wants to talk to me again, writing me offetc..
Just seems like a big step to me and I am not feeling comfortable about it.

Ann

I think you would be wise to not only get the keys back, but to think about changing the lock. Copies could have been made of your original set.

I learned the hard way that leaving any form of access open could mean coming home to a house that is missing my things.

If he gets mad, too bad. If he had no thoughts of doing anything than it shouldn't matter to him.

Do what you can, then just have a wonderful vacation.

Hugs

pjbs55

If you don't feel right asking for the key, just change the locks, this way you will have all your things when you get home. If you are afraid of him don't ask for the keys, just change the locks, and if he gets upset you know he wanted to do something he should not have.
Have a great vacation

patchoulli

I'm not sure but is this the abf that is staying with another woman and they are using together? If it is,can you drop his stuff off and change your lock. Then he has no reason to come over, and you can have a nice trip.

finallyout

heather, i agree with everyone else here, pack up his stuff, drop it at his front door, no need to engage any conversation with him and then change your locks just in case he made copies of the keys. Have a wonderful vacation!!
jenna

teke

i agree, change the locks, i had to learn the hard way too. what if he decides to use your house for his drug activities? no need to ask him for the keys, if he hasn't been there, don't live there, then why would he just decide to go there if he knows you are not home? i think you have a right to your own house, look at his behavior and ifhe gets mad, maybe he deserves to be the one angry for a change. still praying for you and for him

Elana

Yup. Change the locks, drop the stuff at the front door and LEAVE for vacation. Let him spew whatever to vacant air. Change your phone number to an unpublished number and change your cell number too. Tell those who need these numbers and go on with your time away. If he uses Email, change that too.

Only you can control the level and amount of contact.

BigSis

You know, it isn't hard to change the locks.... just go to Ace Hardware and ask the counter folk to help. There are little kits with all the pieces you need.... just a screwdriver to undo the one that is there, and replace with the new knob, and voila! New locks.

I agree with the others.... better to enjoy your time away without worrying. Do it for your peace of mind. Plus then, you don't have to confront him, if that is intimidating to you.

((hugs))

Mavis

Don't be scared. Tell him you want' your key's back. They are YOUR key's! You never know what you might return to when you get home.

BTW very happy your going on that Vacation!!!

parentrecovers

change the locks and go on vacation. you deserve a break, k