Lobo

Well, as some of you know I was suspicious that my Ad relapsed. I'm pretty sure my suspicions are right. She came in here last night at 1:30 am, said she needed a few dollars for gas money. I told her no. Long story short, she took my portable CD player and started out the door. I said you cannot take my CD player, She said I just want to borrow it to take to work. I took it off of her. She called me selfish and went out the front door and told me never to call her again. She slammed the front door so hard that a picture fell off of the wall. She looks terrible. I called the guy that she is supposed to be working for. He said she never showed up last night. He got a call from her this morning from a convience store near his house. He told me she was asleep in her truck and someone called the police and an ambulance because they thought she was sick. She is probably drug sick or strung out.
I just can't take it anymore. I'm so scared that she is going to kill herself driving or someone else. I wish I could get that truck off of her but it is in her name, Her insurance is due at the end of May. I'm not paying it and if she is driving she will be driving without insurance. I just don't know what to do. Any help would be appreciated. I do know that she is staying with the guy that she works for. He told me she has been sleeping all day and she looks bad. He said he is going to have a talk with her when she gets up. If she gets upset with him, she'll get in her truck and be back on the road again. I've worked so hard all week to take care of myself and was actually feeling pretty good. Right now I feel like I've been hit with a ton of bricks.
What to do, or not to do................Lo

hope213

Lo, i am sorry i do not know what to tell you.she is going to do what she is going to do.you do not have anyway of getting her off the street just turn her over to your H.P. & pray for her. it is so hard when it is your child.sending prayers up for u & her both.hugs,hope

dollydo

What not to do, enable her, she needs to fall to her knees before she can get back up.

I know this is difficult, but, the HP has plan for her, let it unfold, it really is out of your hands.

I am so sorry that you have to go thru this,

newblue82

Well, it's a scary situation and right after you've made so much progress. I'm sorry to hear of your distress. I wish I knew what to tell you but I don't have any children. I can tell you from my own personal relationship with my mom which she and I are best friends, but I do believe if I was in your daughter's situation she'd let me suffer the consequences of my actions. It would be her greatest act of love. You can't "save" your daughter. You know that. You've done all you can. You know that too. And you were right not to lend her money or the CD player. Try not to let this upset you any more then necessary. It's out of your hands. You're both in my prayers.

Lobo

dollydo..........I know I need to let it unfold. I just don't know how to have any peace in the process. Thanks for the support........Lo

Lobo

newblue........I know letting her pay the price for what she is doing is an act of love. I'm just struggling. Thanks for the support.........Lo

Wascally Wabbit

lobo, here's a hug for you (((lobo)))
I wish so bad that our children could feel, just one time, the tremendous grief and heartache we as parents feel. I am sorry you're going through this.

Lithloren

Dear Lobo, You did great by not giving her any money. In other words, you did not contribute $ to her getting high last.

You did great by not letting her take your CD player. In other words, she did not have an opportunity to sell it for $ to get high last night.

She asked you never to call her again. She is just trying to manipulate you with your own love. Don't let her do it. Don't call her. Give her the quiet space she needs to reflect upon her own life. When we call, our voices fill that space and they cannot hear their own Higher Power.

As far as the insurance, is she a minor? If she is not, I wouldn't.

I know this is hard. But, you are doing really good.

Hugs,

Lithloren

marle

Is there any way that you can not see her or hear about the things she is doing. I know that if I saw my AD or had to hear about her goings on, I would probably not be able to keep my serenity either. The best thing that I did was to cut contact. The last time I saw my daughter was March 7th and that was enough for me to realize that I can't watch her destroy herself anymore. She absolutely knows that I will not have anything to do with her except to give her a ride to rehab. I really believe that an addict will take us as far with them as we are willing to go. When we have had enough and set some boundaries that tell them enough is enough they will back off. Maybe now is the time to tell her that you will not see her or talk to her until she is ready to get help. No more coming to your house, no more money, no more place to stay. A number for a rehab, a ride if she needs it and support for her recovery. Anything less is just not possible at this time. I feel for you, I really do because I was there not too long ago. Hugs from one mom to another, Marle

marle

Lobo, One little mental exercise that you could try that has helped me is to imagine Jesus standing behind your daughter with His loving arms wrapped tightly around her. She really is not alone. He is there with her. This helps me when I start to get afraid for my daughter. Hugs, Marle

helpus

(((Lobo))) I'm sorry for your pain. Another mom here. My AD is 21. Her latest gig is shooting herion. She is 12 days clean today. In the last couple weeks she has been in the ER for getting quite sick trying to get clean. Then used within 3 days. Then medical detox, & she was transftered to regular detox, then toinght I brought her to the halfway house she has been to before. Hoping this will be THE time. We'll see.
I find that during stressful times like your having, face to face meetings Naranon or alonon are a huge help. They can really get you through the rough patches. Kepping you and your daughter in my prayers.

teke

so sorry you are hurting , there is nothing you can do other than take care of you, turn her over to her hp and believe that he knows how to protect her and lead her to where she is suppose to be, keeping you and your daughter in my prayers

Lobo

I just wish I could reach through my computer and give you all a big hug. I am so thankful for all of your care and support. No Lithloren she is not a minor....she is 25.
Thank you, Marle for reminding that Jesus is always standing behind her. I did picture that and I started to cry, but it was a sense of relief. As we all know things change from day to day............hoping for better days ahead.
Much love and hugs to all...............Lo

bookmiser

((((((((((Lobo))))))))))))


I'm so sorry for your pain and heartache, sweetie.
Try to stay strong and courageous during her fall to rock bottom.
It's hard I know. I wish I could give you a real hug, cause I know your pain.
Take care and focus on you. Ya did good by taking your stereo from her and not giving her money. It's what you have to do. Hold on. Just hold on.
We're here for ya, and HP is there for her.
Try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day in the battlefield of the mind and heart. Sending extra big hugs and ammo your way.
With love,

(((Lobo's daughter)))

Lobo

((Bookmiser))
Thanks for the love........I am not working today so I am going out to lunch with my sister in law and my 89 yr. old mother. These people appreciate me amd they love my AD in spite of her issues. I know it will help me to feel better. Today will be a good day. Thanks for the extra ammo.......I need it.
Hugs..........Lo

parentrecovers

sending you encouragement. relapse is tough. face it head on. make your recovery the priority - it's the best you can do for your daughter right now. meanwhile, i'm praying for you, your daughter, and the rest of your family. k

laurie6781

Lobo, years later after I was sober and clean, my mother shared with me, that when she and dad finally shut the door on me (I was 33 and 1/2 years old) they had reached the point that they knew if they did not let go they would end up in a mental hospital in padded rooms. She also shared that had she known then what she knew later they would have cut me off much sooner.

My parents went so far that if I called they hung up. They changed the locks on the doors and if I came to the door it was closed in my face. They meant business!!! They had to for their own survival!

As an additional note, let me add that it took me another 2 1/2 years to find sobriety. The last year and a half I lived on the streets. It takes what it takes to find recovery. Some of us fine it quicker than others, some of us slower than others.

I will keep you and your family in my daily prayers.

Lobo, please find a way to Love her but let her go. Her HP is watching over her.

Love and hugs,