oneeyeopen

Okay, here is mine -- this is EMBARRASSING --

I actually loaned the abf 2000 bucks to go to vegas with. He is a really good poker player and he was going to play poker, win back the initial investment, not to mention the cost of the trip (which I paid for as well).

HA, ended up 4000 bucks in debt over that one.

And the money -- mostly went to drinking. (no drugs on that trip but plenty of booze)

YUP, super, super stupid!

And I actually BELIEVED him and went along with it.

duet_4-8

My most gullible moment was in December of 2003 when I reconciled with AH and we renewed our wedding vows (what a joke!!). It wasn't two months later that I realized he was still using. I felt like such an idiot....I actually believed him. Again. Only this time I made it very public.

kj0975

I was told that he lost his wallet with his whole paycheck in it (duh) while he was bike riding. I actually spent hours walking along the side of the road where he said he was riding his bike. While thinking to myself good now I dont have to stare at his ex everytime he opens his wallet. Carried a pic of his ex and his daughter in that wallet. Then I went and bought him a new expensive wallet. Then a couple months later we were somewhere and he took out his wallet and there was that same picture. Guess he smoked his paycheck and tossed the old wallet. That was my most stupid moment. I couldnt believe I fell for that one!!!

Yardbird

OK, how about this: I believed my wife when she said the blood dripping out of her nose was from an alergy med she was taking, not from coke.

And this was just a month after I found the drugs for the first time. Duh.

Trust can sure make you look like a fool.

There's a more positive, constructive lesson in all these stories somewhere, I'm sure.

marle

In the fall of 2005 I believed my daughter was okay. She was working, going to college full time and passing drug tests. So I co-signed a $5000 loan so that she could work part-time and concentrate on college. She and her then boyfriend used it up in less than a month for oxycontin. He then left her because I was catching on when I saw their bank statement. Had to take him to court for the $1700 I lent him to pay for tuition for classes he never finished. Got my money from him, but my daughter was going to let her loan default and it would have been on my credit, so I paid it. Yet to see a dime of that money. Can't take the ex-abf to court because they had a joint checking account and she will not testify on my behalf. Can't sue the new abf for the money because, even though he will not allow her to work, they are not married and so it is not his debt. Can't sue her because she has no income so it will only be a moral victory. So I am out $5000+. But I will never give her another penny. So lesson learned. Marle

Lobo

I'm in the middle of my most gulible moment right now. Ad was really doing well. Wanted to start taking classes. So the fool that I am bought her a vehicle for three thousand, paid her first insurance bill. Basically gave her a new start. Right now she relapsed and is driving around who knows where to get her drugs. I feel guilty as hell becuse I believed in her. Now I have to live with the worry I have over her driving amd without insurance if she can't pay it. Oh, will I ever learn?
Taken again.........Lo

patchoulli

My most gullible moment was about 6 weeks before Keith died. My first wake up call was whenI saw him with a guy that was a dealer in town and when I confronted him the next day, he said he was gonna start going to more meetings and get a sponsor, it was a one time thing[he was recovering alcoholic over 5 years] We even had his sponsor here at our house on SuperBowl. He swore that he was so glad he had a sponsor and was 'really working the program, shoot, his sponsor didn't even see that he was using and he is a recovering addict. He was dead 6 weeks later.

Truffles

Wow - so many of them, which one do I pick!

I guess when we renewed our vows, my RAH surprised me with a trip to Vegas to renew our 10 year vows. I thought it was so nice and sweet - I true new beginning.

What a fool I was - he was still using not as much but still using.

teke

have so many i can't think of one that really sticks out, maybe after i had help to support my ah through 2 yrs of prison even though we were not together when he went in, i listen to all the jailhouse promises and allowed him to move back home after being released only for him to get out and get angry enough to tell me that he was leaving and was gonna find him a real woman who will have his back. whew!!!!!!

BigSis

I think buying my kid a car.... for the second time.... after five car wrecks in one year.

Her IOP counselor went off on me... WHAT are you DOING????


".... uh, well... we live in the toolies. She needs a car to get to work and school."



I couldn't get my head around the fact that she was doing neither.



I did that because I didn't know better. Today I know better, so I do better.

parentrecovers

i hear you, bigsis..i guess the one that came with the most consequences for me was letting my daughter use my car, even though i was "pretty sure" (yeah, right) she was drinking and driving. i rationalized it with "she needs to get to work" or "she needs to get to school". bad choice on my part, very bad choice. she totaled my car and was lucky to walk away from the accident without killing herself and TWO innocent bystanders. what was i thinking!?!?!?! hard lesson, all the way around.

caileesnana

I have so many it's hard to pick one! I too have signed not one, but two, student loans. I still have to pay my part, her part remains unpaind. I guess the final straw was six weeks ago when she called, said he was using and beating her and she was 'sick of living like this" and I believed her. I picked her and her stinky, smelly clothes and self up. Drove her out of the way (30 miles) to a **** ass job she supposedly had so she could have a reference to get a new one or transfer closer to home, hey, any job is better than none on an application! Then 9 days later, she doesn't come home, doesn't call, has nothing but the clothes on her back! Nothing until the letter on Sunday. Talk about feeling like a fool! again.

"...love enures through every circumstance"

unsure of

Mine was about a year ago in august when my rabf called me after and binge and told me he loved me. but wait; wait, wait 'til his family program in March i believed that he loved me through his useage. He doesn't even remember telling me that he loved me.

Knowledge is power my friend ~ knowledge is power.

i will work on not being so gulliable when i hear him say those words out of the blue and under those circumstancnes again.

peace

ncdeac

Believing my AH when he said "I promise I'm done. I'll never use again". I believed it over and over and over and over...well you get the idea. It took a long time and a lot of pain to stop believeing him, but once I did he never manipulated me with those words again.

MsPINKAcres

All those moments I believed their intentions instead of their actions.

Yardbird

Now there's the constructive lesson I was looking for! We learn from our embarassing moments to trust deeds not words. Sounds like a simple thing, but before you realize you're really dealing with an addict, naturally you tend to trust the words of the person you are in love with or the person you raised.

Now if only I can start believing my own actions rather than my intentions, we'll really be somewhere...I guess that's part of good daily review strategy: in the morning I state my intentions (to be unselfish, to be of service, to accept the things I cannot change, etc) and at night I review them, not to bash myself but to see what I can work on tomorrow.

Louise54

Did alot of stupid things. Bought as 2 cars, co-signed a student loan ( I'm sure I'll never see a dime of that money), gave him money for "cigarettes", believe him every time he lies, and the list goes on. Even on his way to rehab today, he called me and said he didn't relapse, he's just having trouble staying away from the temptation. I know for a fact that was a lie, but was still hoping I was wrong. Hears hoping that will all stop this time.