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A Penny For Your Thoughts, Part 8

Old 05-11-2007, 06:45 AM
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kind of upset this morning rozied, this man is gonna get himself together so he says but he's gonna pay childsupport when he feels like it. i'm praying that god will give me the strength that i need to go ahead and file for divorce. i think i've been on hold with this long enough. i wished i had money to get a lawyer, but i don't and legal aide takes so long, i want to do what i'm gonna do NOW.
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Old 05-11-2007, 06:52 AM
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good morning all, teke, i'm so sorry for how you're feeling. have you looked into those online services that offer divorces for a flat fee? i hear they are much cheaper than lawyers. i think it all depends on what state your in and what the laws are there. do you have a court order for child support? if you do and he doesn't pay then he goes to jail, quite an incentive to pay i think. i'll be praying for you too. hope your day gets better.
Jenna
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:17 AM
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Teke, Im in the same place, thinking of filing for divorce. Im so at a loss. Worried Ill miss the hugs and affection (thats what always got me in trouble)

Have you thought about doing your own divorce papers? You can get the forms online?
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:19 AM
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no cinder, have any idea where on the net i can find the papers?
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:31 AM
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teke, check out divorcenet.com, lots of good info and sites to get forms. or try googling free divorce complaint forms, every states different though, or try calling your local county prothonotary (in the courthouse) and ask if they have blank divorce complaints, usually you just pay a couple of bucks for copies there. hope it helps.
cind, i worry too about missing the affection, that was always my weak spot, and he knows it too, if he just puts out those arms of his, i come running. try to be strong and remember how many times those arms WEREN'T there for you.
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:34 AM
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Teke, I think I have some of GA's forms by a computer link. Ill check it out later and PM it to you. Each state is a little different but I can help walk you through alot of it. Im starting my paperwork, not sure what Ill do with it, but starting it.
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:35 AM
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I know fianlly out. I survived all the time he was in jail and rehabs without the hugs and such maybe focusing on my kids will help taht part, you think?

Acceptance happiness and contentment still come from within, I just have a little more to figure out.
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:41 AM
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cinder, absolutely, focusing on the kids get me thru the day, by the end of the work day i feel like crap and end up missing him, then i go home and see the kids and realize that they are all that matters to me and seeing the so happy every day cuz AH isn't driving us nuts is the best reason i have for staying away from him.
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:42 AM
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you know cinder, i think what has kept me stuck lately is my age, don't want to grow old alone but to think about it, i've already done that. i guess i'm just wishing i had done this so much sooner. i say i want to live alone and i do, but what if i was blessed with someone who i could trust to live out my life with. apart of me think that i've waited too late so i guess decided to except the fact that it could never happen for me and be content with that. its not what i've always dreamed about though.

i contacted the childsupport office, and my ah may end up in jail, he's been on locator since about 4yrs ago, and is like according to them, about 1500.00 in the rears. he don't really owe that much, he's pretty good with giving us money while he's sober or trying to get sober off and on, but the children shouldn't have to eat off and on, or be supported off and on. i had to get myself together WITH the kids, didn't have anyone to let me ride off in the sunset and support them off and on.
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:44 AM
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thanks cinder i may do the same, my ah said that he would sign the papers, but it will be on my terms. this was about 3 months ago that he said that he would. i think that he should be made to pay spousal support since i believe my injury was caused by one of his drug induced domestic rages, do you think that i would be award that?
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:50 AM
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Dont worry about the growing old part, your kids arent leaving you alone. (Ok trying to be funny) Watching my grandmother (70) and her friends being so active and busy I no longer really fear that. But my codependency started from lack on emotional availability from my dad and grandfather, so part of me is still searching for acceptance. My kids have been so huggy lately maybe I need to focus on that and leave the rest to my HP.
I dont really want anyone. I want to raise my children thats all. Ive wasted too mch of my life on men.

I just want lots of hugs.

Atleast Ill always have my turtles, they live 30 years. LOL and of course my dog has been awesome lately
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted by teke View Post
thanks cinder i may do the same, my ah said that he would sign the papers, but it will be on my terms. this was about 3 months ago that he said that he would. i think that he should be made to pay spousal support since i believe my injury was caused by one of his drug induced domestic rages, do you think that i would be award that?

Spousal support is where state to state it varies. Maybe at least get a free attorney consult and ask him that. With any luck he'll show you the statute, write down the number.
I think its possible, but only if you can show steady income from him to go off of.
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:57 AM
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right now he's working, don't know about steady at the same job but i do know that he is a machinist and makes about 1000.00 wkly whereever he works and has been for about 28 yrs.
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:57 AM
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Hey Guys sorry I havent been posting. I'm just out of sorts as if I fade in and out. I am so happy though that today is friday. I have a birthday party to go to at Chucky cheese and I will see my two best friends that I havent seen in a while. We grew up together and dont live near eachother, it would have been easier for us to get together if we had cars. But two of us dont and then with the kids its to hard to travel on the trains for two hours. But tomorrow I will travel on the train and then I got a ride home. I miss these two so much both of them are cousins and I talk to them all through out the day us three are a lot like sisters. So I am hoping seeing them will bring me out of this funk I am in. I miss being in the spirit of chatting with you guys.

Hugs,
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Old 05-11-2007, 08:00 AM
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thats ok jewelz, we are here for you when you're ready. hope you enjoy your party and your visit with your friends, my kids love chucky cheese.
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Old 05-11-2007, 08:07 AM
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We dont have a chucky cheese around here. Closest is about 80 minutes a way, just as well I wouldnt be able to afford it anyway. I hope you have a good time.
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Old 05-11-2007, 08:14 AM
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Guys Im feeling gloomy again and today I cannot blame the weather. I hate this sad out sorts, almost lost feeling.
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Old 05-11-2007, 08:32 AM
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I love chucky cheese we have one close by!!! I love skiball too. Teke u dont have to file for divorce today wait on it do it when your comfortable. The whole loliness thing does suck but its only in our heads look around your not lonely u have plenty of people who love u. Anvil buck really rules the roost huh? lol. Well not much to say this morning I'm sure I will think of more believe me I will.
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Old 05-11-2007, 08:34 AM
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I got an email from my aunt saying she talked to my grandpa and he mentioned bring the boys a waffle maker and staying and fixing waffles. Of course she added that he commented they had bad table manners (It wasnt a sit down type of thing).
And they told her AH was making things difficult for me and its so sad I get myself into these problems.
I really want to scream, I feel like Im being judged on everything. Maybe I shouldnt ahve let him buy this house for us. Once again I feeling controlled, and this is were my issues started from....
I called my grandpa this am to say Darius was making us dinner a few times and doing well and thank you again. He said good, and we got good news about your sister Joy, her boss called and she's doing well at her job. Your boss never calls me. My only comment was "That can be arranged."
I want to scream again. Joy is 18. Ive been trying to live up to their expectation and comparisons with her since she was a baby and I was 14. She's the one who was expelled from school for oxycotin and then kicked out of an alternative school as well... and she's a darn cashier at a job my rabrother got her at a park. I have 2 degrees and a legal assistant raising 3 kids alone, but Im the example of what not to be....
I need to see my counselor. to bad I cant afford that either.

Help me here, I really need validation!!!!
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Old 05-11-2007, 08:42 AM
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Cindi, do not let your family bring you down. How can they even compare you to your little sister and your 14 years apart. It makes no sense so dont try to even make sense out of it. You could keep your family as close as you want them to be. There was a period in my life where I barely spoke to anyone or saw them and I hate to say this but those times were the most peaceful in my life. Some families bring drama and drama isnt good for us.

As for feeling down i wish I could help but I am on the same boat as you. Oh yeah i got your message on myspace but I had to run out this morning before I could reply.

To bad Chucky is far from you and the boys.. chucky cheese could be expensive but I always bring coupons with me. Like just now I printed out a coupon to buy 40 tokens and get 60 free for ten dollars. Then I got another coupon for 1 lrge pizza with two toppings 4 drinks and 40 game tokens for 18.99. So I fugure I buy the tokens for ten bucks and I get a hundred and go half and half with my friend for the pizza I keep twenty tokens and she gets the same and we pay only ten bucks on lunch. So total if I do it right I will be only paying twenty dollars inside of chucky cheese.

kj, I love skeeball also I trun into such a little kid when I am in there... its crazy. I am contemplating on bring mikey or not. if I bring him I cant run around like a mad woman trying to get tickets..LOL
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