SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/)
-   Friends and Family of Substance Abusers (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/)
-   -   Would it be wrong.. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/122824-would-wrong.html)

cinderellawkids 05-06-2007 03:06 PM

Would it be wrong..
 
My AH and I have been seperated roughly 4 weeks. Previously I had moved into a nother house my grandpa helped me get, it had become a safe havven to be away from him until we got back together, but that didnt last aand he's back at my old house partying and up to no good not paying bills child support ect.
Because we are married I cant force him out of that house. Im not ready to file for divorce but I will NOT let him come back here either.
I hate him being their in my house knowing its disinagrating more and more and he's not fixing it or even maintaining. Id like to sell it quick to an investor to walk away since Morgage is continuing, home owners insurance and property taxes, not to mention its a liability.
The only way I can do this, since you cant show a crackhouse with active addicts is the flip a house investor s and pay AH to sign off his marital and homestead rights to the property. Meaning give him $5,000 to signa release. We all know what he'll do with that money, but this is about me and getting rid of one more headache.
Is that right knowing he'll sign because the crackvoice will say yeah come on do it...
Is that enabling him or getting my freedom?

I am so confused.

teke 05-06-2007 03:20 PM

i think maybe i would check with an attorney to make sure what my options are first but its your home, i don't think that that would be enabling to free yourself up from that debt. sure if you bought him out, he may not use the money wisely but that would be his choice and you'd be free, if it works that way. he'll then have to do something to save himself, especially since his family is not helping him. i think that its kind of enabling for you to have to continue to pay that morgage while he's living it up, like you seem to think. the way it is now, i think that you are still providing a place for him to live. jmhp, but what do i know. love ya

cinderellawkids 05-06-2007 03:35 PM

Ive talked to attorneys and its buy him out, divorce him and then have him evicted, or let the house foreclose

outonalimb 05-06-2007 03:53 PM

cwk...

I was in the EXACT same situation when I left exah.

I left him in our marital home because I KNEW he would never leave and give me any peace. I moved into a rental and he lived there while we had it listed. It took over a year to sell and I couldn't continue to keep the mortgage payment current...I struggled for about 10 months and I could feel myself sinking financially again.

I called the bank and offered to give them the home in lieu of foreclosure. Basically, I signed the deed over to them and walked away. We didn't have any equity because the housing market took a big dive here in MIchigan. I walked away and put my energy into saving money for a new home. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. I should have done it sooner.

I wasn't proud about it. Like a true codie, I felt like a schmuck not living up to my financial obligations over there but it was a matter of survival.

With alot of intervention by my HP, I was able to save up for my new home in about 8 months. A deed in lieu is ALOT less damaging to your credit than a foreclosure. Although I paid slightly more for my mortgage than market rates, I was still able to swing it.

Call the bank. Don't just talk to customer service...Instead ask to speak with the loss mitigation office. They'd rather work something out you can both live with because a foreclosure costs them alot of money.

Your strength is inspiring.
You're keeping a very level head on your shoulders, girlfriend!! Keep going!! There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Hugs and strength.

cinderellawkids 05-06-2007 04:06 PM

The house will not be foreclosed, the morgage is like $300 a month. Its my premarital home.
I thought my grandpa was pushing me because he wanted the equity from it for this house, but he was just here and he's more concerned about taxes liability and the fact AH is sitting there free and then I sit here free. I could sell it to those buy houses for cash people get $20,000 in equity as is without making repairs and walk away. I originally was going to do repairs and walk away with $80,000 but thats just too tough.
My step grandma says list it and show it, just show up with a key and go in with potential buyers and sell as a fixer upper since legally I ahve as much rights to be there as he does.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:48 AM.