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A Penny For Your Thoughts, Part 7

Old 05-04-2007, 08:40 PM
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grateful rca
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cinder, i think thats a question that maybe you should ask yourself and carefully listen to your own answer. will it bring more problems than its worth. i don't have an answer for ya, let me know what you come up with. i notice when i go out, i do see a couple of men looking side ways at me, and i'm not sure if i won't have to ask the same question sooner or later, even though i'm not planning on it, but then again, do we ever plan on it. sometimes things just happens for real
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Old 05-04-2007, 08:41 PM
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Maybe Im reading too much into it... Our comments have been short, but I think he could be interested, maybe Im full of myself.. but his comments took on a different tone after I mentioned AH doesnt live with me.

See, it went like this (First of all weve known each other forever, havent talked in 5 years, we had a past of a high school fling, then he being a shoulder to cry on ect. I know few years ago I ran into him in a bar eh was actually with a guy Id been seeing and he begged the guy to stay away from me.) Anyway other day he asked if turtles were good in soup. I said not funny hub said that once and now he's no longer living here. He wrote back saying kidding. Next day he wrote he rode bike by my house and saw turtles from street. I commented I haad to buy them a shrimp ring this weekend. He said he likes his shrimp with Old Bay seasoning. I laughed it off and said Ill remember that. Ddint chat for 2 days, tonite he imed, got shrimp> I said no, moneys tight, he imed a pic of a bucket of shrimp and said catch your own, I said you gotta show me how, tahts where it was left. I feel silly no biggie right?
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Old 05-04-2007, 08:45 PM
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See I mentioned it to my male buddy at work. Told him whole history, from high school fling, to at 21 and I was attached he came over we talked of old times cried together and he cuddled up and slept like my teddy bear, then 2 years later him running into me at the bar and telling other guy to leave maybe Ill go with him, then 2 years later 1st husband going to prison, he came over, sat on couch just listened was my buddy and left, called a year later I was with AH and that was it. Buddy from work jokes he's been waiting for me all these years
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Old 05-04-2007, 08:46 PM
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oh thats cute cindi, but don't mean to throw salt out there but what about ah, what are you gonna do with him? just in case. stuff like that would make me nervous, thats what happened when my first seperated, i ended up in a place that i didn't really mean to be in or wanted to be in. we ended up in divorce.
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Old 05-04-2007, 08:47 PM
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Thats it, I dont want to give him the wrong idea, but Id love to be his friend. Ive always looked at him like my big teddy, you know the one you lose and find under the bed at sad times. It would create a big stir just to be seen with him though
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Old 05-04-2007, 08:52 PM
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Thats true Teke. I love AH and I still hold out hope for him and us.
I dont want to complicate that, and since theres been a history of interest, its probably not the best thing right now. No matter how honest I am of not wanting to get involved with someone feelings get hurt. Now its kinda funny to me, but buddy from work really thinks theres more to it, the him riding back in my neighborhood ect, he things he was hoping to see me or thinking of stopping. Thats from another guy...
And a little it does seem like the type of thing stories are written about
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Old 05-04-2007, 08:52 PM
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i do know how you feel cinder, seems so unfair that we get to sit holding our breath waiting for our ah's to make up there mind whether or not they want to get themselves together, i tell my ah, that its not fair that i sit around waiting to see if he wants to be married or do he want to give the marriage up for crack and all that goes along with it.
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Old 05-04-2007, 08:53 PM
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I love you guys, your the ones I feel I can run this by, and Jeff from work but he's telling me to run after this guy, I dont listen to his advice just his opinions and I know he wants to see me happy
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:00 PM
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thats good that you do have a guy friend that you can get an opinion from, but sometimes you have to be careful with them too. my best friend at work, got angry at me when i chose my now ah over him and to think, i didnt even know he felt the way that he did. he was the same age as ah, and we were far more compatable, we had the same birthday and all. we were so close, i thought. found out later, that it was just a cover. btw, i met ah at work too.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:01 PM
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and we were good friends too at first, could talk about everything, everything except the fact that he was an alcoholic and a crack addict.LOL
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:03 PM
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I do want free shrimp.

Thats what Jeff said about the bike ride. 2 days before I mentioned where I now live. He said "I spent a lot of time as a kid at Melody Park, not I hang around there. Apparently he and his dad went ona bike ride, sure they could ahve been in my neighborhood, but on my street?

Course I read to many fairy tales and want to imagine taht all along he carried a flame for me through all his women, and adventures. HaHA. I know when we hung out at 21 I told him how much I had liked him at 16 and he was shocked and said he wished he'd known then, course this is another 10 years later.

It would be different if I was divorced. Would I be interested then, honestly Id want to explore the sitaution, except I think I need to be alone awhile
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:05 PM
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Whew, I really needed to vent all that.

Wont it be something if 10 years from now we look back and I am with this guy Ive known since I was 8
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:08 PM
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You know I went to a very small private high school. Out of 100 I know of 8 that are married to each other. 4 of which only got together after other marriages didnt work and they ended up in the same locations
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:10 PM
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The hardest part is Id love for aguy to take me shrimping. A few years back he was gonna take me, and my son camping and turkey hunting, another thing I would love. AH has just been no fun. His whole life was either work or drugs even as a teen
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:10 PM
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you know what they say cinder, if its for you, then you'll have it eventually. its its meant to be, maybe there is no need to rush unless you want to.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:14 PM
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See how my brain gets carried away Teke.
I over analyze everything, maybe subconssciously Ive always carried an interest too. For now I need to wait, but I still want shrimp!!
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:15 PM
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Hey everyone else left, maybe they didnt like my fairytale world. I so need to find reality
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:16 PM
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ok cinder, you're about to make me wonder if its really shrimp you want.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:24 PM
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LOL

...Theres also a bit of enticing excitement to catching them.....
BUt now thinking it through I can see where trouble can stir. Im addicted to excitement, affection ect. Dangerous combination for the spouse of a crack adict, tehn add in the history and me feeling safe.

Probably not good, none of it, However, honestly I was complaining last weekend how much I love shrimp and crabs and how expensive they are and my aunt said well you and the boys need to go catch your own

But sadly theres the fact I always got over each relationship with another one, and thats not what I want this time. Ive got to keep it distant and mellow until I know what is going to happen
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:46 PM
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I know everyones gone, but I was just thinking how glad I am to think this all through. I think part of it is just figuring out who I am and my interests. To be true to myself, I need to stay away. I need time, I have alot of big decisions to make regarding my marriage and who I am , I cannot be distracted.

Its my true fashion to leap, today I think Im gionna learn to crawl
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