mkchic

I am still trying to process all this recent contact with my AH. He has been gone for 2 months and now says that he is ready to get clean. I was and could still be ready to file divorce papers. I amjust very confused. My question is......my son's dad knows that i have a AH. If my AH goes through rehab, gets his life straightened out, and months down the road we work it out, is there any way my ex can take my son from me?


~M

teke

i don't know how he can take your son, if you do not allow him to live in a home where there is drug use. as far as your ah, i think that maybe you are not sure that you want a divorce or not sure that you need one. maybe since you are already seperated and is being confused about the decision that you are about to make, why not just wait until you are sure that this is what you want to do for you, in the mean time, continue to do whatever you need to do to make your life better. if your ah is ready for help then time will show you that he is, no need to make any hasty decisions right now. keeping you and yours in my prayers.

its been 21 yrs and every now and again, my ah will call me with the same thing, he's ready to get help, sometimes he goes through with it and sometimes he don't, but the choice to stay clean is his. addiction is for life and so is recovery and relapse can alway happen with out notice to you and your addict. what you see now is very possible what you will get for some time, time for you to decide just how long you are willing to wait and let time tell you when to do what.

Blackrose2756

I agree with Teke. If the "addict" is not in the home & doing drugs....I see no way your ex could take your son. As far as the contact from your AH?? Like Teke, my ex said the same thing regularly....if I threw him out...he was ready to get help in a few weeks. As soon as I let him come home....help went out the window. He'd go to jail & start talking about "help". He was put into 2 very good rehab programs that the jail was trying as pilot programs. Star pupil in both. But as soon as he came home...in a few months...he'd relapse. Still doing it now as far as I know. Giving his girls the same crap....and then relapsing again.

Last time I threw my ex out I told him....put your recovery where your mouth is. Get into treatment. Work a program. Show me that you can stay clean & sober...at least 6 months after the rehab & we will talk.

He couldn't do it. I couldn't take the pain anymore.

Lynne

parentrecovers

don't have any experience for you, mkchic. but just wanted you to know i was listening. blessings, k

hope213

i can't see your son being taken away.you are a good mom & take care of him.set your boundries & make sure your house is clean(drug free). prayers,

mcdo1268

Don't worry another thought...Any court will see what your putting into it, not AH or EX......The problem is not you. Advice, document what you are doing, every bit of it.

BigSis

You might think about why you asked that question...

Are you envisioning a time when you might reconcile with an addict who is either not clean, or whom you cannot trust to be clean?

It is ok to stay separate from an addict until they rebuild trust. If you are like me, you open up the old heart and just POUR out trust and love at the drop of a hat. It is ok to keep that door closed for a while.

((hugs))

mkchic

The reason that I asked that question is, that no matter how much trust that I rebuild with him, other people might not. And if my son's dad did not rebuild his trust, I would not want him to try and take my son from me.