Parents there is no hope - thank you
 

I have a supposidly revoering husband and son, and discovered my other son was into pain meds, he was angry and rude and hurtful. I decided i needed to re-read some of the enabling material and regroup on healing myself. thanks for the honest recap. it reminds me I can love the person, and remain disappointed in their actions and set safe boundaires. And to the two ladies who encouraged me to post here and come to this forum - THANK YOU. I don't often get time on the computer, but your words and knowledge are a life line for many of us. I am praying for all our recovery.
God Bless and thank you for your courage!

Blvnin,
Glad you found us. I am the mother of 2 addict sons, one is almost 29, the other is 33. It has been a long, hard road, of rehabs, using, prison, using, rehab...one after another.
On this day I can say, for today, both are sober.
Without Alanon, and my joining Sober Recovery, I most would be in the looney bin by now.

One thing that worked for me, is my sons could not live here in our home. It put me way too close to the drama, and everyday chaos. I had both of them move out, and once they were out, I appreciated the peace I found.

Glad your here,
stick around post often,
hugs, and prayers to you....

Welcome BlvinGod, I'm glad you joined us and hope you'll stick around.

I am the mother of an addict and have found peace through my meetings and posting here. You will find lots of support here and people who understand.

Take a read around, especially the sticky posts at the top and just make yourself comfortable.

glad you have come back.this site is a sanity saver for me also.come back when u can.i will be praying forr you & your family.

Welcome! There are so many wonderful people here who truly know what you are experiencing. Both my daughters had drug and/or alcohol addictions. My oldest is actively working recovery and things are very positive, but regretably I lost my little one to the disease this past summer. I can understand the pain you are feeling..it must be very difficult to be the only non-addict in your home.

I too have found peace coming here, attending Naranon every week and working a 12 step program. Despite the pain and sadness, I have found something precious that I have never before experienced. Please keep reading and posting. Hugs and prayers

(((((((((BlvninGod)))))))))))

Please stick around and keep reading and posting. There is always hope, especially the hope that you can make things better for YOURSELF - because you are the only person you can make changes for.

I'm looking forward to seeing you around more.

I too have a spouse in recovery & a daughter "in recovery" -
"in recovery" is in quotes because my perception is that she is still very active in her disease and 5 months pregnant with her 3rd child.

Without a program of recovery for myself and my friends in recovery, I would be as crazy as a bessie bug!! :)

Don't give up before the miracles happen in You - You deserve them.

Peace,
Rita

glad you found us, welcome, i'm a recovering daughter with a few yrs clean, it took for my family to leave me alone to my own misery. i apreciate them for stepping back, if they had not allow me to suffer the consequences of my own bad choices, i know that i would be still using today.

my husband of 21 yrs is what brought me to this site, he's been in numerious rehabs and so have i, the difference is, i'm have been willing to do what ever it takes for me to stay sober and he is yet to realize that he is powerless over drugs and is not yet willing to do what it takes.

today again, i choose that its best for me and my sanity to be seperated from my husband, when i first came around here, i was literally insane i thought, due to his addictive behavior. it does get better, time to take the focus off them and onto yourself, do whatever you have to to keep you sane and make life better for yourself and allow them to suffer the consequences of their own actions. i know how hard it is, but there is always hope, for them and for you. keeping you and your family in my prayers

I believed there was no hope for my meth addicted daughter. I believed she was going to die, and die ugly at age 18. I believed my pot/alcohol addicted son would just fade away. I believed that no matter what I did, things could never get better. I made a plan and started to put it into action... I was going to leave the planet. I was done.

I was wrong.

If you are going to meetings today, I would suggest you consider doubling up on them. If you have not started going to meetings yet, I would urge you to start. Alanon saved my life... literally.

(((hugs))))

Courage Here!
 

I can't thank everyone enough. It seems like I am the odd mad out in this house. I often think my 'recovering' husband is spineless and does nothing to help the boys recovery. i understand we can only work one program, and they appear closer to him - which sometime I think is becuase he doesn't challenge anyone to grow.

you are right - they need to move out of the house - 23 and 27; so time to move on - maybe if you have to pay bills somewhere there is less$ for other items. Often I feel like I should just go buy my own place, or move out for a while. I could use a break. And yet I feel guilty even thinking that. Have been attending meetings for 4 years and am just now starting to take a serious look at my own 4th step. Finding I thiught I had all my own answers - but it seems now the questions were old. I am growing and I am changing. In truth that scares me. I will have to face some of my own 'charachter defects' and hope that as I do a positive trait will bubble up from somewhere.

I know the 3 -C's, but the hardest thing for me to do - as a mom; is to see athletic academic all american's with degree's make these choices - deep down I don't think I get it. maybe I do and don't want to admit it. I wonder 'who took my perfect life? who took my white picket fence?'....and I wonder if when I answer I will have to say 'you took it from yourself - you let it go'.
My sponser told me I was an enabler - so I am readingup on that. She also tell's me to get down off my cross and do something constructive with my nails. I love that gal - she is loving and kind and gets in my face when I need it.

I look forward to my continued growth - and I thank you all for your courage - sharing you stories and sharing your pain and sharing HOPE and love. I am grateful.
The line below made me laugh...I needed that. Not only was it funny, it was true. My 'dragons' (the addicts / recovering addicts) do think i am crunchy...and they don't mind taking a bite out of me. So I will make it a point to engage them only at a safe distance. God Bless! You too remain in my prayers, along with those you love. I am finding there are some very healthy things one can do here on the internet - this is like 'online meetings' -

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

BlvninGod Welcome - SR is really helpful and so are the Prayers and Hugs we get - no matter how me mess up (enable) - giving up being an enabler is difficult but there are people here that have done it - they are my heros and I applaud them. I'm a Mom of AD.