A Penny For Your Thoughts, Part 6

Old 05-04-2007, 08:41 AM
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It's amazing what a 9 year old thinks, sees and realizes - so much more than i ever imagined and so much more than i give her credit for most of the time...
That was my point above, you know on the post everyone skipped and didnt comment on (xcept Jewelz)
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Old 05-04-2007, 08:48 AM
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That sad palmtree.

We had a guy in mid day roll a large trash can across a very busy main street and leave it on the other side. Someone noticed a foot sticking out and it was a 18year old girl, beaten and dead. Its just so sad.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Lovestoomuch View Post
That's wonderful news about your AB palmtree!! You tell him we all said "YOU GO BOY!"
Ok............heehee........really going now. You guys are a hard habbit to break. Now.......don't go passin up the 500 post mark till I return. This is my final day on SR and I'd love to be able to spend it with you guys.
ok, loves,, that final day on sr statement sounds like the word never, and i just don't like that word. you are planning on living to get back here i hope.

cinder, not sure what post you are talking about, mind repeating it so i can comment on it. i'm so sorry i must have missed it, its all about me remember
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:04 AM
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palm, i'm glad to hear about your bro and tropik's husband. i pray that he continues to move forward in his recovery. thats shows hope.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:08 AM
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Glad to hear we all need validation. I think some days thats why I come here. You all are great for that.
Im starting to have a hard time missing AH, but not sure if its him I miss, I feel all twisted up, start to tell myself its not that bad. Then 9 year old yesterday told me they took a hug and love seminar. He said Violence is bad and I ahve a safe number I can call if I feel scared. I said, but do we have violence in our home? He gave me this "Yeah Right" look and said, yelling, slamming doors ect is violence and Ive had enough of it!! SO I guess he set me straight. I love that little boy and the fact taht he'll expres himself.

Timing hit well, because MIL admitted that D is a little more guarded with men lately and she thinks it may come from his Dad yelling at me. He's not afraid of his Dad, but its made him weery and more protective of me. (Remember before a few weeks ago when AH snapped in front of her throwing coffee, she never believed he acted that way. Now she's seeing the effects)
Just for you Teke, but youve now hit Thanks
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:15 AM
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you guys, i post stuff that nobody seem to notice, is what you guys feel what i'm suppose to feel when that happens? see i have so much catching up to do. i'm so use to people not paying much attention to what i have to say until i just didn't realize that i was doing it to someone else, yall know i try to be here for ya. i'm sorry cinder. i still don't know what the post was though so i'll just have to catch the next one. LOL
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:18 AM
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I think it happens when we are trying to catch up Teke.

Its weird Im just ahving a low esteem day I guess I feel out of sorts again. GRRR.
My sisters gonna stay over Saturday night so Im sure that will help me mentally too
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:25 AM
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Just popped in to say hello.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:26 AM
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well cinder i saw that one and i forgot to tell you that when i feel that way, the next thought will be to ask myself what about him do i miss. your ah is not like mine, i don't remember a lot to miss. there have been more down times than ups. maybe when you get there, it time to ask yourself whether or not you think things would be different this time, if you opened that door or are you ready to start all over again before you know that he is working a plan of recovery.

i think as much as we try to protect our kids from the effects of addiction, they are still being effected and began to take on that codie trait at a young age. instead of them looking to us for protection, they began to think that its their job to protect us. sad to say but kids seem to understand so much more than we sometimes want to admit to. i love my kids too, just having them has brought me through so many hard times, i think god has used them in some ways as a beacon of strength to keep me pushing onward.

did i make sense and is that better?
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:30 AM
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hey concernedbigsis, how are you today, i hope all is well for ya.

ok yall, lets not get all mushy here, thanks for the validation, i guess i do get it here when i least expect it and need it. i know that you all or here for me, i'd be crazy by now, if you hadn't been.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:30 AM
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U guys are too funny today! Just and FYI I really do try to read all the posts but sometimes I get in the shower and when I come back there are 10 new pages to read and to be honest sometimes I just skim them. Great discussion about the mental abuse and sometimes physcial abuse that happens when u live with an addict. I really think that deep down inside we all hope they get it and our relationship could go back to the way it was b4 drugs took them from us. I truley think that if they do get clean it can work but deep down there are some emotional scares along with trust issues that make it hard to go back to the good ol' days.

I feel so much better that I vented here and not to his sister lol. She will get hers one day. See Scotts sisters pretty much raised him so he is really close with them. They are a tad over protective of him. I dont think anyone would be good enough for him. I try to stay out of it all though but sometimes its so hard to put on a smile to someone who u know talks bad about u. She once told such a big lie that Scott actually kicked me out of the house. I tried to convince him I didnt do anything but his sister wouldnt lie........... So there I was homeless. Then the truth finally came out and she played stupid in Scotts defence he did call and rip her a new one. I do love him and our relationship has its bumps in the road. I was feel unappreciated and thought about leaving so he could really see that what he has here is a great thing. AM I making sence?

Now back to the kids they notice so much more than we think they do and sometimes its sad that they have to see or hear what goes on in an unhealthy relationship. They pick up on our feelings and sometimes act out on it by being angry or having troubles. Sometimes the parents dont stop and think that it has to do anything with what they live with. My nieces have seen and heard soo much more than kids their age should have seen. My sister would get violent when she drank once while I was there she started going after the kids. I got in the middle while they ran out to my car and we left. Thats something no kid should have to go through. Maybe this is why my mouthy niece acts out so much? I dont know. I dont want to work today 330-12am. sigh............

Wheres anvil probably needed a nap after the puppys morning energy burst.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:39 AM
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kj, some families are like that, my mil has caused a whole lot of trouble between my ah over the yrs, i've been kicked out of the house, not given money for kids or bill all because she will tell him that i've done something or said something to her, when the truth was, that i wouldn't allow her to make me do what she wanted me to do. we've spent a lot of yrs seperated cause his mom's word is law to him. it was a no win situation, its hard for me to feel as if have to compete against his family. not gonna work, i try my best to not be that way. i have a dil and 2 sils, and i want to be the mil that treats all my children the same, whats right is just right and it does not matter who does it. i guess you may have to began to pratice detachment on them too a little.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:40 AM
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Hi Teke. I'm doing great today. Have to run into town later which I'm not looking forward to.. but oh well. How are you doing??

KJ, I agree most kids notice and take in so much more then we think they do. Often times I think that most parents don't realize HOW MUCH their kids pick up on. I know sometimes I don't notice that certain things are affecting my kids more then I'd expect. When mommy is upset it makes them uptight too.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:44 AM
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Originally Posted by teke View Post
well cinder i saw that one and i forgot to tell you that when i feel that way, the next thought will be to ask myself what about him do i miss. your ah is not like mine, i don't remember a lot to miss. there have been more down times than ups. maybe when you get there, it time to ask yourself whether or not you think things would be different this time, if you opened that door or are you ready to start all over again before you know that he is working a plan of recovery.

i think as much as we try to protect our kids from the effects of addiction, they are still being effected and began to take on that codie trait at a young age. instead of them looking to us for protection, they began to think that its their job to protect us. sad to say but kids seem to understand so much more than we sometimes want to admit to. i love my kids too, just having them has brought me through so many hard times, i think god has used them in some ways as a beacon of strength to keep me pushing onward.

did i make sense and is that better?

I miss the hugs and affection. When clean and not angry he truly was my best friend. But no I dont want to go back to what it was. I talked to MIL and feel a little better now. She was like whatever you do, dont think him not crying and begging means he doesnt love you, it is no reflection on you. I know that but its good to hear at times anyway. We figure either they found someone else to party with or they are working trying to pick themselves up. She thinks I may hear from them promising $$ again later, but doesnt really expect me to see it yet.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:44 AM
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Anyone got some weekend plans? Anyone doing fun things? I have to work but my nieces are coming to spend the night. Sunday we are supposed to go to the circus I love the circus so that should be alot of fun. Other than that not much going on!
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:45 AM
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Originally Posted by ConcernedBigSis View Post
Hi Teke. I'm doing great today. Have to run into town later which I'm not looking forward to.. but oh well. How are you doing??
.


im doing just fine, so far, my daughter is over, somewhere in the house i think, washing her clothes and i think that my mom is on the way over so i hope that i get the chance to keep up with you guys. i kind of thought that i was gonna have the day to myself but like you said, oh well? be back, somebodys at the door.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:55 AM
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Plans for the weekend... hmmmm... I think I'm going to start tackling some house cleaning. I have a whole bunch of stuff to go through, throw away, and pack up before we move. Only have a month and a half to get to it, so I'd better get started... see how much of my things have been destroyed by mice. We have a terrible mouse problem where we are renting, landlord won't do anything about it, so I have to wash ALL of my things and get rid of any signs of mice in my stuff before we move into our new house... don't want to be packing the disgusting little critters with me. Did I mention... I can't wait to get out of this disgusting house?!?!
So, yup that's my plan... CLEAN and PACK... ick.
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:56 AM
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Im trying to ahve a garage sale tomorrow, clean and organize deeply and then my sister is going spend the night on Saturday in celebration of her last day of high school ever
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Old 05-04-2007, 09:59 AM
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What really infuriates me about our this living situation, since the landlord has done nothing about so much of my stuff has been destroyed. Antiques that came from my uncle, some stuff from my grandma.. so many other things. I noticed just the other day, I have this box that came from my great grandma... all family pictures, newspaper clippings and things relating to my family... well they've been soaked in mouse pee... are covered in poo... so now I have to throw it all away. All my stuff that has been destroyed isn't replacable. I plan to take pictures of everything before I throw it away... proof of the damage, then I'm going to have a "nice" chat with the landlord.
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Old 05-04-2007, 10:00 AM
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Originally Posted by palmtree View Post
Hey you all; only 70 more postings then we can ****-off Loves.....she did say wait and do not pass 500 posting without her hummmmmmmm!!!!!!
Now.........why would you want to pee on me?? That's so not right lol. Good thing I've got a sense of humor.......and can take a joke. Ummmmmmm......it was a joke right?? TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING!! Wahhhhhhhhhhh..........nobody loves me.
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