katie44

We'll I don't know where my son is? He called my cell 35 times on Friday. I had spoken to him in the morning. I told him if he needed a ride to detox or rehab then to call, and that I loved him. I then told him no more money, dont come to my work or the house and to stop phoning unless it was regarding his recovery. He was very angry he couldnt believe that I didnt ask him where he was or did he have food? My reply was he is a 20 year old adult if he can source out drugs he can source out anything. He hung up on me. Oh well Im just to tired to deal with him. Ive gone to bed this week and left my purse on the counter, I didnt have to clean up any mess that hes left. Its amazing how we become accustomed to hiding things and living in our own homes on the edge. I will never again bring him back in to the house. I love my son dearly, but as long as he is an addict I will no longer expose my family to his behaviour. I guess Im still a little angry. Went to a naranon meeting last nite. I really didnt want to go but after words glad I did. Just an update, thankyou all for your past replies.

marle

I told my daughter the exact same thing. A ride to rehab that is all. Told her here is a number, it is up to you. If you can find drugs, you can find recovery. It really is the best way for us and them. He will be angry at first, you are changing the rules. I know in March my daughter tried to blame me for her continuing drug use. I told her that we are not to blame. We gave her a choice, she chose to use. She could have chosen rehab. When you stop playing their game, they have to look at themselves. The last time I talked to my daughter, I told her that it is her addiction that has caused her to lose her relationship with me. She told me that she knows that, that she is not stupid. Yet I know that the next time she talks to me she will try the blame game again. I am not playing anymore and good for you that you are taking yourself out of his addiction. My daughter is also 20, soon to be 21. Time to grow up and face the consequences. Hugs, Marle

parentrecovers

continued hugs and support to you, katie44 and marle. your words are so helpful. blessings, k

teke

thanks for the update, glad to hear that you are feeling a little better, sorry about your son, and i'll keep sending up prayers of protection for him and strength for you.

Louise54

Amen. I find I'm still hiding my purse and money. My husband has hidden his wallet so many times he now forgets half the time where he put in. I too will not have an addict living under my roof again. Too much anger, suffering and chaos. It has been so peaceful around here. My husband and I do reminisce (think I spelled this wrong) about the cute things he did when he was young. And when I walk by his bedroom I feel sadness and I can't believe he's not here, but that's the way it has to be until I feel he's finally clean and can live a normal life.

Prayers to you.

dollydo

I thank you for the update, and, am glad to hear that you are sticking to your bounderies, it truly is the only answer to your well-being.

Brownie

Hi katie44 - notice you were on my prayer list twice but I will leave both on - Moms need prayer all the time - it's a real struggle isn't it.

hope213

this is hard on you i know.my addict son is in a place where he should not be. he has a broke ankle & needs a cast.so far he has not been able to find anyone to put one on without insurance.it is hard to watch them destroy themselves but we do need to let them take care of thereselves.i hope your son finds his way soon.prayers, hope

Tenderheart

thank you for the affirmation I received in this thread. My AS's birthday is today. Sent him a card - I love him, but the person I love is buried behind alcoholism. I have had to shut the door of contact too. Too much mental and verbal abuse. So scared, as his options become slim to none that he will take his life. Then how would you justify "no contact?"

StarGazer6

I understand when you talk about how you had to hide your purse, that sucks that we can't trust them anymore but it's good that you can let loose and be comfortable in your own home now. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

My addicted ExBF came over 2 and a half weeks ago coming down from crack, it wasn't pretty! Sad and kind of scary actually, I haven't heard from him since but I think it's for the better b/c I felt I had to hide my purse from him when he was over, I thought how sad it was that he made me feel like I needed to protect myself. I miss him but I know that he's very different now.

amnesia57

Our addict son suddenly reappeared on our doorstep a week ago (how he got here from the halfway house 3 states away is something he refuses to explain). He just assumed he could move back into his old bedroom and everything would be like it was before we kicked him out. Yeah, right. I don't want to go back to taking my wallet into the shower with me.

We gave him a ride to another halfway house in another city. He is angry because we've changed the rules on him; he says because he's family there should be unconditional love and support. Well, you can love someone without trusting them or owning their problems.

I'm sure he'll be back; he has this amazing ability to just erase the past as he goes along and expecting us to do the same.

He's out of the house but I'm still depressed. I want him to recover and be a "normal person" but I just don't think it's going to happen. There will be more collect calls from jails and more attempts to use his helplessness and incompetence as a weapon. Does it ever end?