graci

Hi, I havent been on in almost a year, not because things were going good, but because they were going really bad. My bf is an addict, substance doesnt matter, its whatever is available at the time. Usually was pot everyday allday with drinking, coke and pain pills thrown in at times. We went thru counseling which helped some, then he decided that he needed to straighten up and joined the marines. I was and am still proud of him for maing this decision, because my hope is eventually he will get better in such a disciplined environment. He managed to stay sober for abot 5 months while preparing for bootcamp and then during bootcamp. After he hurt his ankle and got placed in a medical platoon where his whole military career is on hold and he is bored to tears. Dangerous for him because its a huge trigger. So last night he told me that he has been taking pain meds and sleeping pills at times, not everyday, but he got especially messed up last night by taking way too many pills and then drinking. I absolutely was scared for him. The pills arent his but apparently there are many people in this platoon who have them prescribed to them and then sell them. So now I am starting to feel that this whole thing is starting all over again. He mad a positive step, and now he is depressed and bored and he is seeking. I myself am worried and getting sick along with him like i always do. He is halfway across the country and still im codependent.. yes some stuff he has left behind , he cant smoke or do acid or ecstacy or hard drugs while in the marines, im doubting that once he gets to a real station that he will have access to the kinds of pills that he is geting in this medical platoon. he isnt using everyday, mostly on the weekends, but his past behavior has my trust very short. I dont know if I am making too big a deal of this because of trust issues and am assuming everything will happen as before, or if because he is in this new structured environment and once he gets out of this rut he will do better. these are the questions i ask myself. what if its my own paranoia getting the best of me, and over the next 3.5 years he will improve. what do u think??

Ann

Welcome back, Gracie.

Sweetie, he hasn't stayed clean lately, so what makes you think this will all change tomorrow? Basing your future on the hope that he will change is very risky, I think.

Have you been to any meetings, Alanon, Naranon or CoDA? What have you been doing to help yourself, Gracie? Coming here is sure a good start and I really hope that maybe while you are waiting for him, you can find some help and recovery for yourself. It will give you a clearer vision to decide how you want to spend your future.

Hugs

rozied

Hi Gracie, I think Ann has said some really hepful things. I also need to do more for my own recovery. Dealing with addiction is very hard & without help for ourselves it is even harder.
Love,
Diane

dollydo

Hi,

He is not clean, he is not in recovery.

Try to focus on you, get serious about your recovery from codependency, the only person you can control is you.

Keep posting, it will help.

teke

i agree with the others, time to take the focus off him and turn it onto yourself, you can't do anything to stop him if he chooses to use. time will tell you what you need to know, in the meantime, do what you have to do to make your own life the way you want it to be. keeping you and yours in my prayers