Letting Go of Resentments
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Letting Go of Resentments
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Let go of resentments
Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they're justified. They can dry up our hearts. They can sabotage our happiness. They can sabotage love.
Most of us have been at the receiving end of an injustice at some time in our lives. Most of us know someone who's complained of an injustice we've done to him or her. Life can be a breeding ground fro resentments, if we let it.
"Yes, but this time I really was wronged," we complain.
Maybe you were. But harboring resentment isn't the solution. If it were, our resentment list would resemble the Los Angeles telephone directory. Deal with your feelings. Learn whatever lesson is at hand. Then let the feelings go.
Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They're a form or revenge. The problem is, no matter whom we're resenting, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves.
Take a moment. Search your heart. Have you tricked yourself into harboring resentment? If you have, take another moment and let that resentment go.
God, grant me the serenity that acceptance brings.
You are reading from the book:
More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Let go of resentments
Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they're justified. They can dry up our hearts. They can sabotage our happiness. They can sabotage love.
Most of us have been at the receiving end of an injustice at some time in our lives. Most of us know someone who's complained of an injustice we've done to him or her. Life can be a breeding ground fro resentments, if we let it.
"Yes, but this time I really was wronged," we complain.
Maybe you were. But harboring resentment isn't the solution. If it were, our resentment list would resemble the Los Angeles telephone directory. Deal with your feelings. Learn whatever lesson is at hand. Then let the feelings go.
Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They're a form or revenge. The problem is, no matter whom we're resenting, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves.
Take a moment. Search your heart. Have you tricked yourself into harboring resentment? If you have, take another moment and let that resentment go.
God, grant me the serenity that acceptance brings.
You are reading from the book:
More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Here is another good reading on resentments that I found in my files...
Today's thought is:
Resent Somebody
The moment you start to resent a person you become that person's slave. He or she controls your dreams, absorbs your digestion, robs you of your peace of mind and good will, and takes away the pleasure of your work.
A person you resent ruins your spirituality and nullifies your prayers. You cannot take a vacation without that person going along! He or she destroys your freedom of mind and hounds you wherever you go. There is no way to escape the person you resent.
That person is with you when you are awake and invades your privacy when you sleep. That person is close beside you when you eat, when you drive your car, and when you are on the job.
You can never have efficiency or happiness. The person you resent influences even the tone of your voice. He or she requires you to take medicine for indigestion, headaches, and loss of energy. That person even steals your last moment of consciousness before you go to sleep.
So if you want to be a slave, harbor your resentments
~~~
Today's thought is:
Resent Somebody
The moment you start to resent a person you become that person's slave. He or she controls your dreams, absorbs your digestion, robs you of your peace of mind and good will, and takes away the pleasure of your work.
A person you resent ruins your spirituality and nullifies your prayers. You cannot take a vacation without that person going along! He or she destroys your freedom of mind and hounds you wherever you go. There is no way to escape the person you resent.
That person is with you when you are awake and invades your privacy when you sleep. That person is close beside you when you eat, when you drive your car, and when you are on the job.
You can never have efficiency or happiness. The person you resent influences even the tone of your voice. He or she requires you to take medicine for indigestion, headaches, and loss of energy. That person even steals your last moment of consciousness before you go to sleep.
So if you want to be a slave, harbor your resentments
~~~
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: charlotte,NC
Posts: 111
Somewhere recently I read a quote about how holding onto anger is like holding onto something that is very very hot...you're the only one who gets hurt.
I'm struggling with letting go of my anger and resentments. And even as I say I'm struggling with it, or I'm working on it, I know that even in that language I'm admitting that I'm not letting go.
I understand intellectually that it will be the best thing for me to let go of all the things my husband has done to hurt me. I know that if I plan to move on, either with him or without him, I will be a sour, miserable person if I continue to harbor these resentments.
But I can't let them go. Or I don't let them go. Or I don't know how to let them go.
I hope I let them go, soon.
I'm struggling with letting go of my anger and resentments. And even as I say I'm struggling with it, or I'm working on it, I know that even in that language I'm admitting that I'm not letting go.
I understand intellectually that it will be the best thing for me to let go of all the things my husband has done to hurt me. I know that if I plan to move on, either with him or without him, I will be a sour, miserable person if I continue to harbor these resentments.
But I can't let them go. Or I don't let them go. Or I don't know how to let them go.
I hope I let them go, soon.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
They tell me in Alanon -
Having a resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Learning that *I* control the expectation that leads to the resentment helped me understand that *I* control how much pain I want to endure. Once I reduced or eliminated my expectation, the resentment started to fade. I like control. I like feeling in charge... this was a powerful lesson.
Having a resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Learning that *I* control the expectation that leads to the resentment helped me understand that *I* control how much pain I want to endure. Once I reduced or eliminated my expectation, the resentment started to fade. I like control. I like feeling in charge... this was a powerful lesson.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
