Its sooooooooo hard
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: hertfordshire england
Posts: 3
Its sooooooooo hard
Hello
I'm still trying to get the hang of this!!!!!! i find it hard to send threads n messages so i just spend my time reading crying and getting as much comfort that im not alone, my husband is a drug addict and he is not living with us now he is full of abuse lies and everything it says on here, it dont take away my pain im trying to come to terms with it all and understand,its 4 years now that our baby was born early and died, n im here still feeling the pain and my husband will get off his face 2day, 2 numb his coz thats what he does.... everyday. maybe im havin a pitty party 2day and when i woke up i felt yet again alone with all this yet again hurt yet again asking why.........
I'm still trying to get the hang of this!!!!!! i find it hard to send threads n messages so i just spend my time reading crying and getting as much comfort that im not alone, my husband is a drug addict and he is not living with us now he is full of abuse lies and everything it says on here, it dont take away my pain im trying to come to terms with it all and understand,its 4 years now that our baby was born early and died, n im here still feeling the pain and my husband will get off his face 2day, 2 numb his coz thats what he does.... everyday. maybe im havin a pitty party 2day and when i woke up i felt yet again alone with all this yet again hurt yet again asking why.........
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Welcome,
I am sorry for your circumstances, I feel your pain.
Living with an addict is one stressful situation. Sometimes we just have to shut down for awhile and recharge our batteries.
You are entitled to have this time, to regroup, crying is a good release valve.
Take some deep breathes, give yourself time.
Keep posting, keep reading others posts, it will help.
I am sorry for your circumstances, I feel your pain.
Living with an addict is one stressful situation. Sometimes we just have to shut down for awhile and recharge our batteries.
You are entitled to have this time, to regroup, crying is a good release valve.
Take some deep breathes, give yourself time.
Keep posting, keep reading others posts, it will help.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome to S.R. you are not alone any more.you now have us. i am so sorry about your baby.i can feel the hurt & pain you are going through.i am sorry about your husband. i am glad you found us. please read all the stickys & post.keep coming back.as sad as it is there is nothing you can do to help your husband.take care of yourself.prayers,hope
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
laneyloo,
You are not alone here. We are all right here next to you. The people here have been through some really dreadful stuff, and we help each other day by day to get better.
Stick around....keep writing.....we care
GiveLove
You are not alone here. We are all right here next to you. The people here have been through some really dreadful stuff, and we help each other day by day to get better.
Stick around....keep writing.....we care
GiveLove
rozied
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Welcome to SR. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your child & how your husband is choosing to cope with his pain. That sure does leave you feeling all alone. I know what its like to lose a child. I lost my 27yr old step son who I raised since he was 5, 3 yrs ago in a horrific car accident. I have heard that 85% of marriages do not survive the death of a child. My hubby & I had to get counseling to help us get through it.
I hope & pray things get better for you. The people here are wonderful, please keep coming back.
Love & Prayers,
Diane
I hope & pray things get better for you. The people here are wonderful, please keep coming back.
Love & Prayers,
Diane
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: dallas
Posts: 19
it IS hard
hi laney,
i'm sorry for your pain... i've been there. all of us have. there are still days i go through a similar intensity of hurt/anger like you are experiencing.
you need all the support now... keep writing. cry it out... eventually you'll have a game plan on exactly what to do to bring some peace to the situation for YOURSELF. it took me a year to figure it out and finally i'm able to find some peace even when my husband doesn't come home.
find a newcomer's al-anon meeting in your area. talk to God to take you through the day. take care.
i'm sorry for your pain... i've been there. all of us have. there are still days i go through a similar intensity of hurt/anger like you are experiencing.
you need all the support now... keep writing. cry it out... eventually you'll have a game plan on exactly what to do to bring some peace to the situation for YOURSELF. it took me a year to figure it out and finally i'm able to find some peace even when my husband doesn't come home.
find a newcomer's al-anon meeting in your area. talk to God to take you through the day. take care.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Laney, starting a thread like this IS how it works here. If you want to send a personal message you may do so by clicking the PM link in the upper right hand corner of the forum. But maybe posting openly is better for you right now.
I lost a baby when she was 7 weeks old. I remember that horrible pain... and here is something -
My husband was sober and not using and he was almost NO help to me.
My sister was sober and not using and she was almost NO help to me.
My mother was sober and not using and she was also, almost NO help to me.
They each were so busy grieving themselves, there was nothing left of them to give to me. I needed too much. I needed to talk about the baby FAR more than others wanted to listen.
I burned through friends, relatives and coworkers.
I finally found a grief support group specifically for parents who lost children. THAT was what brought me the most relief.
It is easy to blame drugs for ALL the evil in our lives, but sometimes, even sober people just can't do for us what we need. That means WE have to do something for us.
You might check with the local hospital or public health agency (mine was through the county) to see if they have resources for parent grief support groups in your area.
I wish you the very best. (((hugs)))
I lost a baby when she was 7 weeks old. I remember that horrible pain... and here is something -
My husband was sober and not using and he was almost NO help to me.
My sister was sober and not using and she was almost NO help to me.
My mother was sober and not using and she was also, almost NO help to me.
They each were so busy grieving themselves, there was nothing left of them to give to me. I needed too much. I needed to talk about the baby FAR more than others wanted to listen.
I burned through friends, relatives and coworkers.
I finally found a grief support group specifically for parents who lost children. THAT was what brought me the most relief.
It is easy to blame drugs for ALL the evil in our lives, but sometimes, even sober people just can't do for us what we need. That means WE have to do something for us.
You might check with the local hospital or public health agency (mine was through the county) to see if they have resources for parent grief support groups in your area.
I wish you the very best. (((hugs)))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: hertfordshire england
Posts: 3
thanku all of you
its been a comfort to read all your kind words of support and encouragement,I am no longer living with my husband and im learning each day to detach myself from him and the drugs he has gone downhill fast and looks like a dead man walkin but i have choices and i choose to be free of all this pain i will no longer allow myself or my children to be abused by drugs any longer thanku for writing back im still trying to get used to how you write on here im not very good at internet!!!!! thanku once again it means alot
laney xxxxx
its been a comfort to read all your kind words of support and encouragement,I am no longer living with my husband and im learning each day to detach myself from him and the drugs he has gone downhill fast and looks like a dead man walkin but i have choices and i choose to be free of all this pain i will no longer allow myself or my children to be abused by drugs any longer thanku for writing back im still trying to get used to how you write on here im not very good at internet!!!!! thanku once again it means alot
laney xxxxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: hertfordshire england
Posts: 3
thanku
thanku for your kind words of comfort, 1 thing I do know is God Know is that God loves me, and wants the best for me, thats why im trying so hard to be strong and do the right thing. being able to read all the imformation and encourgement just gives you the strength to go on
many thanks
laney
many thanks
laney
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
((((((Laneyloo)))))))
Welcome to sr. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your baby. You've come to a great place for support concerning your ah. (addict husband)
There are lots of support and meetings you can attend for grieving your loss.
I hope you find one nearby and get the support and help that you need.
As far as your ah...this is a great place for support, prayers, advice, and hugs.
Sending heartfelt prayers up for you, your child, and your ah.
Keep comin' back.
Linda
Welcome to sr. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your baby. You've come to a great place for support concerning your ah. (addict husband)
There are lots of support and meetings you can attend for grieving your loss.
I hope you find one nearby and get the support and help that you need.
As far as your ah...this is a great place for support, prayers, advice, and hugs.
Sending heartfelt prayers up for you, your child, and your ah.
Keep comin' back.
Linda
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: home sweet home
Posts: 302
Hi and welcome. My abf was a lortab addiction. I had no idea how bad it was. Feel free to stay here, read lots, and find the support that makes you feel so not alone.
We have walked many miles and have lots of experience to share. Hang in there..and keep posting.
We have walked many miles and have lots of experience to share. Hang in there..and keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Laney, I am a bit late but wanted to welcome you to SR. Sorry for the loss of your child. I know how much that hurts. I lost my first child to a miscarriage. I then had my daughter and she was the only child I could have. She is my addict, 21 years old. We all know the pain of loving an addict. Keep reading and posting and crying if that is what you need. It will help for you to be able to tell your feelings in a safe place. Hugs, Marle
trying to mend
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Where the Wild Things Are
Posts: 105
welcome to SR laneyloo.
As already stated, and as I am sure you have discovered since you do a lot of reading, there are a lot of great people in here, a lot of support, and a lot of comforting words when you need them most.
(((((laneyloo)))))) you will be in my prayers.
As already stated, and as I am sure you have discovered since you do a lot of reading, there are a lot of great people in here, a lot of support, and a lot of comforting words when you need them most.
(((((laneyloo)))))) you will be in my prayers.
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