is snooping okay when protecting yourself?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Texarkana, Texas
Posts: 585
One more thing to add to this. If you decide to separate, RUN do NOT WALK to the lawyers office and file a legal separation IMMEDIATELY!! That means that your mutual property will be protected (house, land etc.) and any debt he incurs afterwards is his.
Dreamer
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 81
I think that when you're married that you share financial responsibility and that you DO have a right to know what's going on, especially if it gets so bad it makes it hard to make the payments you share together, like your house, etc... You should definitely be able to look in every part of your house if you're trying to make sure that there isn't anything illegal in there since you would be liable as well as him.
It sucks that you feel put in that position in the first place though and that you don't feel you can trust him, which makes it heavier on your heart. From my experience, when you can't trust them with one thing it broadens the scope of what else they could be lying about. When I want to get back with my ex I try to think about all of the lies he told me and then double it when I think about how many other lies he probably told me that I never knew about.
It sucks that you feel put in that position in the first place though and that you don't feel you can trust him, which makes it heavier on your heart. From my experience, when you can't trust them with one thing it broadens the scope of what else they could be lying about. When I want to get back with my ex I try to think about all of the lies he told me and then double it when I think about how many other lies he probably told me that I never knew about.
A work in progress....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
I am in the process of getting a divorce and I have to say that my well-developed snooping senses have served me well (along with YEARS of experience in knowing what to expect from EXAH).
I have copies of everything financial I can find, I have voice mails recorded, I have pictures of things (many of which are already missing) out of our garage.
I say if you are doing it to protect yourself (financially or othewise), then go for it. But if you are only doing it in an attempt to 'prove' something to him, it's less than useless, and will drive you nutz.
(((HUGS)))
I have copies of everything financial I can find, I have voice mails recorded, I have pictures of things (many of which are already missing) out of our garage.
I say if you are doing it to protect yourself (financially or othewise), then go for it. But if you are only doing it in an attempt to 'prove' something to him, it's less than useless, and will drive you nutz.
(((HUGS)))
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