hopeforever

hi everyone!!
how areu?
i missed u all!!
saying hi to all!! and huigs to everyonE!!

Lovestoomuch

Coyotes??
Are they bigger than a black lab??
I swear I'm such a shmuck sometimes. I was so worried whatever it was would break down the door and harm my roxy! Could you let something harm this wittle face??

cinderellawkids

Loves, Coyotes look like scroungy wolves and I believe about 100 pounds, so yes as big or bigger than a lab. They usually dont come close to people, but if they are around you'll hear them howling at night

Lovestoomuch

I'm glad you're in better spirits anvil.

Me.........well I just got through deleting some "friends" from myspace. What posers ya know. It's a bunch of hooey if you ask me. But I've met some really great people too. And it's one way to keep up with my daughter. Counting down the days to grandmotherhood..........If my daughter is a MILF, then what does that make me??.........a GILF? WTF is a GILF? Oh well........I keep eating all these cookies I baked I'll be FAT.

Lovestoomuch

LOL......yes.....yes I guess it does. It's better than "grandma".

I can't stand to hear my dog whine either. Or....when she gives me that look. You know the one I'm talking about......the look that will get them just about anything......

Jewelz

I feel like I havent been to myspace in ages. Now thats it's blocked at work i dont get a chance to get on that much. Sorry if I havent been sending comments to you all lately. After being on the comp all day at work its usually one of the last places I want to be on at home. Plus I have dial up so it takes freaking forever to load.

cinderellawkids

My mom became Grandma at 40 as well.

My little one calls my MIL "mommom" Im "ma ma"
Its clearly different and I dont mind. He started it at the very beginning but these days he's real clear

Jewelz, sorry about the dial up at home I know thats a pain. Youve gotten me addicted to myspace.
But I never accept new friends I dont already know. It just seems weird to me still. I mean youbguysa re different we've all shared and we have things in common you guys are my friends and Ive reaquainted with 2 girls I met on a site I used to go to previous to this one

Lovestoomuch

I stopped getting friend requests after my blog "Deny"......
Whatever works ya know??

Jewelz

yeah I dont accept any friend request from people I dont know. Just seems odd to me to have someone as a friend just to see my friends number go up. I also reconnected with a lot of people from my childhood and that was a lot of fun. Sometimes I just find it hard to keep up with the comments.... I wish I had it back at work.. too bad I got caught.

Lovestoomuch

I've met a few nice people that I didn't know....but I'm really selective.......VERY SELECTIVE. If they have more women friends then men.....denied. If they are way younger than me....denied. If they want to sell me something.....denied. I hit deny more than I do accept. And I have deleted a few who haven't even said "Thanks for the ad"........just rude IMO......and it seems to be a popularity contest to some......denied. Maybe I'm just a bitch, but I'm ok with that.

cinderellawkids

Lunch was great everyone, we ate outside on the river. There is a nice breeze today. But Im stuffed had a huge chicken quesdilla and fries.

Too stuffed to work, wanna take a nap.

Just thinking how peaceful it is to go home to just my kids, because I can predict the evening, mostly, and the time besides the kids is mine, I put them to bed and have peace for 40 minutes until I go to bed, with noone to suck the energy out of me....now why did I ever develop codependant tendencies and think I needed someone? Got me, Ive lived this marriage just fine when he was incarcerated.

Teke, where are you?
Kat?
We miss you guys

cinderellawkids

I noticed when I changed my picture I got a lot more requests. I thought that was funny.
Tomorrow at work we are supposed to be taking digital pics to post as well, hopefully the roof is open for nice scenary

Jewelz

ladies, I am not feeling to well today. I feel real blah.... I think depression is coming on to be honest not really sure. I feel like I am living a lie right now. On the out side I smile, act like everything is okay... you know just to act strong. But I feel broken inside and I feel like soon everything is just gonna fall apart.. meaning myself. I almost feel like I am at a breaking point and soon I will fall apart. Just to get myself to do the basic things for myself is a struggle. I hate feeling this way. one of the reasons why I havent been posting to much.

Jewel

Lovestoomuch

Now you're talkin!

Lovestoomuch

Well honey, look at what you're dealing with. You work your ass off, take care of 2 kids, the house........and you have a man there who does what to help again????? Everything is on your shoulders and the one person who is supposed to be there helping to make a difference is getting high and not lifting a finger. You're a hell of a lot stronger of a woman than I ever was. I broke a lot sooner than you........I was a mess. Didn't want to get out of bed much less carry on through life. I honestly don't know how you continue to do it sweetpea........

cinderellawkids

Jewelz,
You are feeling how I was about 4 weeks ago when I pretty much broke, spent all Friday home going crazy, really though I was crazy, started envisioning driving off a bridge. I now that sounds extreme, I had never been that way before, but I do believe that was a direct result of all the stress.
That was a week before AH took the car and I told him he couldnt live with me any more. I think I knew hed take the car and not come back, or I wouldnt ahve let him use it, I think at that point that was by subconscious way of starting the road back to sanity.
The severe blahs that kick off depression brought on by severe stress can become dangerous to any of us, please take care of yourself, try to do somethings for you. Do something fun and relaxing with the kids and try to view abf as just a houseguest, view him as an unwanted spider in teh corner (if you can ignore them and refrain from killing them)
There sadly comes a time when we all break and cant do this anymore, please try to make it positive when that happens

cinderellawkids

Yeah I wonder sometimes how did someone so independant, a self described loner, who prefers to live alone become so codependant and needy?

Lovestoomuch

All I know.......the hurt does lesson after some time. I never thought I'd get through making Shank go. I cried solid for like 2 weeks. I couldn't sleep, eat or even think. But.......I was paying all the bills by myself anyhow, so financially I didn't need him.......well I did, but you know what I mean. It was lonley and I felt so sorry for myself.........and it took some time to get used to it.....Every now and again I'd cry my eyes out.......usually around the holidays, but day by day.......you get used to not having to deal with the chaos and anger.........the worry.....after a while I quite enjoyed being alone. I could predict what each day would bring because It was all up to me as to what kind of day I was going to have.

cinderellawkids

Yes my home is my sanctuary. I have no idea where the rest of life is gonna lead, but Ive slept so soundly the last few nights. AH asked this morning if we did divorce what would happen with the baby and the courts (He was asking about child support.)
I was real calm and said there is state guidelines it goes by, we cant change those, the court will not allow you to pay me directly. He then asked if the court would take some of it, I said about $3 a week, Ill get the money and it will go to lil D, I promise.
I still havent given up hope, but its nice to know he's thinking about the whole thing.

For now I want time and space as I need to heal more than I realized

Lovestoomuch

Good gravy!!
I just got a freind request........this is a copy of what his page is titled....or the saying on it rather.
"The Milks Gone Bad HaHaHaHa!!! It's a Celedration Bitches"
Where do these people come from?? Pods?? I think they're pod people. He has no friends. Hmmmmm wonder why............
he can't even spell.........