oneeyeopen

Well, the abf says he thinks he had a minor stroke during his weekend binge. He says now he is done with smoking crack. HA! last fall he thought he had some sort of minor heart attack, said he figured that smoking the crap again would kill him and he wasn't ever going back. well...guess what, you all know how it is. I wish he had a heart attack and ended in the hospital, might have woken him up. I think when he did do it again and didn't die it just emboldened him to keep at it.

we'll see. If he had told me when I saw him the morning after I would have taken him to the hospital, but he only just told me now, and you know what -- if he won't go himself, then it isn't up to me to rope him into it.

Okay, I swore not to talk about him but I just wanted to get that out of my head.

other than that, things are fine. I told him "nothing more serious until you are sober" he got all his stuff from my place on sunday, and I feel amazingly calm about it.

I wouldn't say indifferent but more like "we'll see what happens" and in the meantime I just chug along with my own plans and don't count him into any of it. he asked how long he had to be sober until I could trust him and I couldn't really say...fact is, he was clean for over six years when this relapse started, (with drinking 3+ years ago)(drugs again in october) so one month, ten years, can happen anytime.

I told him on sunday that I wasn't going to talk about his recovery with him, he could do what he thought best, I have my opinions and he doesn't like my suggestions, so I am leaving it up to him.

besides i have other fish to fry -- my daughter is having a real crisis, problems with her dad, and she lives thousands of miles away and I really can't help her (guilt flares its ugly head -- wasted money on abf rather than helping her out...gotta just live with that).

In the meantime -- bed time, hopefully a good nights sleep! Don't let the bed bugs bite!

cece1960

Sleep well hon...we do what we can with what we know, until we know better.

Careful...your recovery is showing...

(((hugs)))
Cece

teke

sorry that your daughter is having problems but whats done is done. no need to feel guilty, you did what you thought you needed to do for you.

i agree with you about allow your bf to handle his own recovery. keeping all of you guys in my prayers

BigSis

Actually YOU sound.... good. Your recovery is getting that shiny glow....

((hugs))

GiveLove

prayers, hugs, and smiles for you oneeye.

you're doing the best you can, and your best sounds pretty darned good to me!!

do what you can for your daughter...but take care of you too

XOX
GL