Disappointed in ME
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
Hi Elana
Well, if you think you were the "sucker" think about what I must be???
I mean, really, how dumb is the person who replaces a camera not once, not twice, but three times? Shoot, I was a thiefs' best friend! LOL That is just one example. Talk about being in denial?? What in the world was I thinking? Or not? That is really scary!!
So, you see, Elana, you don't get to win first prize because no one can knock me out of the "Suckers, First Place!"
Hugs, Devastated
I mean, really, how dumb is the person who replaces a camera not once, not twice, but three times? Shoot, I was a thiefs' best friend! LOL That is just one example. Talk about being in denial?? What in the world was I thinking? Or not? That is really scary!!
So, you see, Elana, you don't get to win first prize because no one can knock me out of the "Suckers, First Place!"
Hugs, Devastated
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Posts: 18
Thanks Give Love.....
He has called me three times today. I called the drug and alchohol center in town that recommended that I might want to change my phone number. And yes... He plays the super sensitive new age guy.... Becomes whoever he thinks you are...so you end up thinking he is your new best friend.
I am a smart, pretty girl... and I am now wandering why my self esteem was low enough to accept his behavior. I guess I thought he would stop....because he almost feels like my brother.
I also think I was reliving some very unpleasant part of my childhood and trying to seek love from someone that absolutely could not give it to me.
Wow... I suppose spiritually he landed in my lap for a reason....
you know... he led me to Alanon, and I would not have done that if I had not met him. Oh well. It was really fun for awhile...
Ps. He has called me several times to say he is very sorry. He also wanted to let me know... that he didn't just cheat on me but he is cheating on everyone he dates.
Wow....
Well on to the next beautiful healthy man!
Kisses to you all- J
He has called me three times today. I called the drug and alchohol center in town that recommended that I might want to change my phone number. And yes... He plays the super sensitive new age guy.... Becomes whoever he thinks you are...so you end up thinking he is your new best friend.
I am a smart, pretty girl... and I am now wandering why my self esteem was low enough to accept his behavior. I guess I thought he would stop....because he almost feels like my brother.
I also think I was reliving some very unpleasant part of my childhood and trying to seek love from someone that absolutely could not give it to me.
Wow... I suppose spiritually he landed in my lap for a reason....
you know... he led me to Alanon, and I would not have done that if I had not met him. Oh well. It was really fun for awhile...
Ps. He has called me several times to say he is very sorry. He also wanted to let me know... that he didn't just cheat on me but he is cheating on everyone he dates.
Wow....
Well on to the next beautiful healthy man!
Kisses to you all- J
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Somehow it feels worse when they seem to think it is OK to do this.
The last normal conversation I had with X was 2 days before he moved out.. I took him to pick up the car he bought (I wanted him OUT of my truck and my house at this point and a car was moving that 4ward).
Anyway.. we drove over train tracks and I said to him, "I will miss chasing trains for photos..." and he responded by saying, "You know where to find me..."
He wanted to arrange it so he could have his New GF (who I did not know about at the time) and ME!!!! It did NOT happen. He was moving out and my door swung one way.
What a jerk.
The last normal conversation I had with X was 2 days before he moved out.. I took him to pick up the car he bought (I wanted him OUT of my truck and my house at this point and a car was moving that 4ward).
Anyway.. we drove over train tracks and I said to him, "I will miss chasing trains for photos..." and he responded by saying, "You know where to find me..."
He wanted to arrange it so he could have his New GF (who I did not know about at the time) and ME!!!! It did NOT happen. He was moving out and my door swung one way.
What a jerk.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Posts: 18
Elana,
I find this website so helpful. Especially when I am worrried at 3am in the morning.
Yes I think it is what we call crazy making! Yes it is crazy to think that someone says over and over again that they want love yet they do EVERYTHING possible to keep it away from them.
It is a baffling disease. I sure did knock me on my butt.... I know he has a girlfriend and is calling me non stop....
The thing I need to switch around here is that I am the CATCH.....not him.....
Why am I shifting all of my energy to wondering about what he is doing and when. One thing I know for sure is that ......I AM SO MUCH HEALTHIER WHEN HE IS AWAY FROM ME!
I am just getting myself ready and healthy for a great guy!
J
I find this website so helpful. Especially when I am worrried at 3am in the morning.
Yes I think it is what we call crazy making! Yes it is crazy to think that someone says over and over again that they want love yet they do EVERYTHING possible to keep it away from them.
It is a baffling disease. I sure did knock me on my butt.... I know he has a girlfriend and is calling me non stop....
The thing I need to switch around here is that I am the CATCH.....not him.....
Why am I shifting all of my energy to wondering about what he is doing and when. One thing I know for sure is that ......I AM SO MUCH HEALTHIER WHEN HE IS AWAY FROM ME!
I am just getting myself ready and healthy for a great guy!
J
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
today was just GORGEOUS here.. like only spring can be in the Northeast. I have been doing the Great Deck Wash and Seal of 2007. I got it done too.
While I have been working thru this weekend I know that last year "we" would have done something together.. maybe gone to Steam Town or up in the Mountains and gotten photos of snow melt... or MAYBE even worked on the deck, got it done, and then done the other thing today. But WE could not because I don't do threesomes and WE is Now just ME.
I installed 4 bird houses for bluebirds last year. I figured ideal locations and set them up in pairs with the idea one house gets blue birds and the other gets tree swallows who drive away everything but blue birds. When I put them in last year, within 12 hours I had a pair of blue birds taking up in a box. They raised a brood and X (who is a photographer.. or has been a pro but is now unemployed) had the best time taking photos and sending them to his family and thought it was so cool I knew to do this etc. Yet, by the time the first brood fledged he had a new GF on the side.
Today during the Great Deck project of 2007 the blue birds were back and the male blue bird had a heckuva fight with a tree swallow.. and I thought how much WE would have enjoyed the show. BUT, WE is now just ME and my 4 cats.
He also missed the Coopers Hawk that decided to walk across the side lawn (guess he was tired of flying north.. he finally did fly.. ).
HIS LOSS. HE decided it was better for HIM to live in a house share with 3 other people and a dog on an inadequate salary because he would not put any effort into his job (padded his time sheet repeatedly and got caught more than once) and is now on unemployment.. at age 52 almost 53.
HE decided this so HE could have this GF and his drugs and his grow room.
Well, he is sorry now cuz he has no job, the GF is married and can't take him in (and if she did he would cheat onher within 6 months), no nice place to live etc. etc.
Once burned the stove's fault. Twice burned your own fault. He is sorry and so am I but not so sorry he can come back here and hit the "replay" buttons.
He wanted what he has. He is the addict complete with all the behavior associated with an addict. His actions, his consequences.
My bluebird house. I know where Steam town is and the Catskills are my back yard and I can go there with myself as company (and I keep pretty good company I might add!).
While I have been working thru this weekend I know that last year "we" would have done something together.. maybe gone to Steam Town or up in the Mountains and gotten photos of snow melt... or MAYBE even worked on the deck, got it done, and then done the other thing today. But WE could not because I don't do threesomes and WE is Now just ME.
I installed 4 bird houses for bluebirds last year. I figured ideal locations and set them up in pairs with the idea one house gets blue birds and the other gets tree swallows who drive away everything but blue birds. When I put them in last year, within 12 hours I had a pair of blue birds taking up in a box. They raised a brood and X (who is a photographer.. or has been a pro but is now unemployed) had the best time taking photos and sending them to his family and thought it was so cool I knew to do this etc. Yet, by the time the first brood fledged he had a new GF on the side.
Today during the Great Deck project of 2007 the blue birds were back and the male blue bird had a heckuva fight with a tree swallow.. and I thought how much WE would have enjoyed the show. BUT, WE is now just ME and my 4 cats.
He also missed the Coopers Hawk that decided to walk across the side lawn (guess he was tired of flying north.. he finally did fly.. ).
HIS LOSS. HE decided it was better for HIM to live in a house share with 3 other people and a dog on an inadequate salary because he would not put any effort into his job (padded his time sheet repeatedly and got caught more than once) and is now on unemployment.. at age 52 almost 53.
HE decided this so HE could have this GF and his drugs and his grow room.
Well, he is sorry now cuz he has no job, the GF is married and can't take him in (and if she did he would cheat onher within 6 months), no nice place to live etc. etc.
Once burned the stove's fault. Twice burned your own fault. He is sorry and so am I but not so sorry he can come back here and hit the "replay" buttons.
He wanted what he has. He is the addict complete with all the behavior associated with an addict. His actions, his consequences.
My bluebird house. I know where Steam town is and the Catskills are my back yard and I can go there with myself as company (and I keep pretty good company I might add!).
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: charlotte,NC
Posts: 111
I've realized that a lot of my anger towards my husband is really my anger with myself for allowing myself to be duped by his lies and manipulations. I'm upset with him for being so awful to me, but I'm even more upset for falling for it. I let him get so much money out of me, and I'm generally very careful with my finances. I can't believe I was so stupid!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Originally Posted by thejunkyswife 
I've realized that a lot of my anger towards my husband is really my anger with myself for allowing myself to be duped by his lies and manipulations. I'm upset with him for being so awful to me, but I'm even more upset for falling for it. I let him get so much money out of me, and I'm generally very careful with my finances. I can't believe I was so stupid!
Yes, Yes and YES.
There was a time when I would have married the guy.. but when I brought it up he was absolutely cruel about it. I should have walked then. Did I? No.. Codie codie codie...
However, the Non codie thing I did was to decide if he ever asked me the answer would be NO. We lived together and I treated him like a husband (kindness, trust, sharing etc.). He did not treat me like a wife.
I remember one time he needed something and asked me to call "so and so" and "tell them you are Steve's Wife." NO NO NO. I was not his wife and I would not say it. I even said to him once, "I am NOT your wife. You are not husband material."
He used to badger me and corral me with words.. and try to get me to do things. I had a car accident (I was fine and it was not my fault and my insurance did not go up). I went to the hospital to be sure (I was alsmost stopped and got rearended by a guy doing 60 MPH). I was fine. A little sore.
He tried to get me to get unnecessary MRI's etc. as follow ups. I was, and am, fine! Finally I said to him, "You are my BF and I do NOT have to do what you tell me to do! I appreciate your concern (was it concern or control?) but I am fine!" He could not let it go. Went on for months.
I wish I had back all the money I spent on this idiot.
Yes, thanks Marteen. I am taking little steps and sometimes giant leaps.
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