My Nightmare

Old 04-19-2007, 06:43 PM
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Angry My Nightmare

Well I didnt get the job that I went to the interview on Tuesday for. They wont hire me because I have a drug charge on my record. To top it off, I went to see my probation officer the same day and they arrested me in the office. The judge put out a warrent with no bond because Im behind in my payments. After 3 days he put a $5000 bond and my friend posted it. So Im back home today and I will post more later.
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Old 04-19-2007, 06:50 PM
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Hang in there Gwen. I wondered about working in a hospital with a drug charge, but I would never discourage you from trying. There is another job out there with your name on it.

Best wishes and prayers for you.
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Old 04-19-2007, 06:54 PM
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i agree with elana, don't get disencouraged, one door closed so there is another one somewhere waiting for you to get there. keep putting one foot in front of the other, and you WILL get there. something good has to come out of all of this, so just keep going. i'm so sorry about what happened, know that one day all of this will be over, and you can finally be free of all of this. still praying for ya.

just want you to know that i'm still so proud of you. you inspire me.
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Old 04-19-2007, 07:05 PM
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Hi Gwen

Hang in there
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Old 04-19-2007, 07:09 PM
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Have faith, Gwen. Things have a way of working themselves out.
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Old 04-19-2007, 07:09 PM
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Hi Gwen,
I agree, there IS a job out there for you. Saying a prayer tonight that you find it soon.Good luck!!
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Old 04-19-2007, 07:34 PM
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You poor soul, I so feel for you. Although I know these 'requirements' are put there for a reason, it so saddens me to know that it can affect a person who has turned their life around like you have. Please do not give up hope, there is a job out there for you that will change your life...keep striving for it...
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Old 04-19-2007, 08:10 PM
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Im keeping on going because I dont have much choice other than to keep going. This has been a really bad week and Im not in a good mood right about now. I will get out of it. Im grateful to be out tonight and to be at home. I have to go back in tomarrow to jail to do my weekends but at least I know I will be coming home. As far as the warrent goes, I posted the bond curtesy of my friend. I have a court date for May 11th to see what the judge will do with me from there. I will be doing alot of praying and hopefully find some side jobs to catch up on some of the payments. The $500 my friend put up for bond could have gone to the payments but its gone now. I paid a bondsman to get out of jail and dont get it back. So at least Im home for the night and can hold my kids tonight and sleep in my own bed.
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Old 04-19-2007, 08:21 PM
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I'm so sorry.. (((Gwen)))

There is something even better for you. Things always work out for the best.

Someone sent this to me in an email the other day-


We need to learn to thank the Lord for closed doors just as much as we
do for open doors. The reason God closes doors is because He has not
prepared anything over there for us.

If he didn't close the wrong door we would never find our way to the
right door. Even when we don't realize it, God directs our paths through
the closing and opening of doors. When one door closes, it forces us to
change our course. Another door closes; it forces us to change our
course yet again.

Then finally, we find the open door and walk right into our blessing.
But instead of praising God for the closed door (which kept us out of
trouble), we get upset because we "judge by the appearances." And in our
own arrogance, or ignorance, we insist that we know what is right.

We have a very present help in the time of need who is always standing
guard. Because He walks ahead of us, He can see trouble down the road
and HE sets up road blocks and detours accordingly. But through our lack
of wisdom we try to tear down the roadblocks or push aside the detour
signs. Then the minute we get into trouble, we start crying "Lord how
could this happen to me?"

We have got to realize that the closed door was a blessing. Didn't He
say that "No good thing will He withhold from them that love Him?"

If you get terminated from your job - don't be down, instead thank God
for the new opportunities that will manifest themselves - it might be a
better job, or an opportunity to go to school. If that man or woman
won't return your call - it might not be them, it might be the Lord
setting up a roadblock (just let it go).

One time a person had a bank he had been doing business with for many
years tell him "NO" for a $10,000 loan. The Lord led him to call another
bank. That bank approved a $40,000 loan for him at a lower interest rate
than his own bank had advertised. I'm so grateful, for the many times
God has closed doors to me, just to open them in the most unexpected
places. "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He
delights in his way." (Psalms 37:23)

The Mountain top is glorious, but it is in the Valley that I will grow!
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Old 04-19-2007, 08:25 PM
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I'll say a prayer for you. Please know that something will come along for you, that will be just right. Turn this over to your HP he is always there when you really need him, and when you don't think you do.
Hugs coming to you
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Old 04-19-2007, 08:27 PM
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You're in my prayers, Gwen. I agree with the others, the Lord has something better in mind for you than the job you interviewed for. Keep looking ... a new
door will open soon.
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Old 04-19-2007, 08:42 PM
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Living in the light
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Hugs coming your way.
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Old 04-19-2007, 08:49 PM
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these are your stumbling blocks right now. you will get thru them.i know you will. stay postive, there is a job out there & it will be a good one.sending hugs & prayers, hope
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:07 PM
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I will make it through this. I just had a hard week and need to look at all Im grateful for. I just talked to a really good friend and she has made me feel immensely better. It helped me work some stuff out by just talking about the events of the last couple of years. I feel better. Im gonna soak in my tub for a bit and go to bed. I will come back and post some more in the morning. Ive missed you guys all week. Thanks for letting me vent and the words of encouragement and support.

Thank you very much for that post. I will keep this to keep looking back at this and plan to print this as soon as I get some ink for my printer. Thank you very much!
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:07 PM
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(((((Gwen)))))) I'm sorry sweetheart. I know things have been coming at you fast and furious...Please try not to project and stay in today. You're right...gratitude moves you forward. You're in my prayers. Hugs
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Old 04-19-2007, 10:31 PM
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Sorry to hear that Gwen.

Thing's will and do get better. Stay strong.
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Old 04-19-2007, 11:03 PM
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What I know, Gwen, is that I couldn't believe in the "things will get better" until I actually experienced that a few times.... until I had "evidence of".

What I hope you can do is remember this disappointment and down feeling so that you can see the "evidence of" when it happens. As things turn to a better solution, we can store up those "proofs" to lean on later... during future rough times.

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Old 04-20-2007, 04:46 AM
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Experience has taught me that when God has other plans for me they are always better than anything I could dream of.

This wasn't meant to be, but it gave you something that will help you next time. And it will take time for your past to remain where it belongs, in the past. Your actions today will do that.

Disappointments are just detours, God's way of steering us to a better path and plan. He has something He wants you to be doing, perhaps someone He wants to put in your path or an experience He wants you to live and when the time is right, it will all unfold exactly as it should.

You are okay today and you will be okay tomorrow. Just stay in the light and never give up and one day you will look back on all of this and realize what a gift it was, strangely wrapped as it may be.

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Old 04-20-2007, 05:00 AM
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I am sorry about the job, but, there are others out there. One will find its way to you.

Money makes the world go around, in my humble opinion you need to look at your finances and eliminate any luxury items, so that you can keep current on your probation fees, legal fees, etc. It is not an option, paying these fees is a must.

Keep looking for that job, it is out there.

As always, I am here for you my friend.

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Old 04-20-2007, 07:49 AM
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Good Morning All. I apologize for my negative mood yesterday. It was a very trying and hard week. I have read what each of you have said and I thank you for it. I know my HP has a plan for me, I just dont know what that is yet. Its hard to see past the here and now. And when something goes bad like this week, I tend to forget the good of moment and the past. I will get past this one day. AND SOON! As far as the job goes, well, I did want it but it just wasnt for me. There were 3 other canidates and with more expierience too. I was able to impress the director to the point of getting the job if it wasnt for my criminal background(which is the drug charge). It made me feel more confidence in myself that maybe I am able to get a good job. Maybe I am smart enough. It boosted my confidence that I am going to try again. I am going to the Career Center in town next week where they will be able to help place me in a job that Im qualified for and that will hire me even with the drug charge. So I am NOT defeated and wont give up. There is something for me.

This week while I spent the 3 days in jail gave me some time to think. I kept saying I didnt do anything wrong. I didnt deserve this. Maybe I did, maybe I didnt. It comes down to this. I was arrested for all the probation violations which consisted of driving offenses, failure to make my payments, and to make everything short, just failing to comply with the strict guideline of probation. So maybe I did deserve to be arrested. What makes me think I shouldnt have been arrested is the changes and steps that Ive been making to follow to make myself better and to follow those rules. I just didnt make the changes fast enough. Thats what it comes down to. Well as some of you know I have a new Probation Officer and I have only met with him twice. In that period od time, I have been completely straight forward and honest with him. I have told him of my plans and the steps Im making to insure them. I have divulged every bit of information of myself to him so that he may get to really know me and help me through this probation. Officers have a way of being your best friend or worst enemy. Ive decided he is one friend I need in my corner. Well, I guess he see that that is what my intentions are. He sees good in me because apparently after I was arrested he called the judge or his office and recommends to him that he would like for me to continue in intense supervision of my probation. Maybe he sees promise in me. Maybe he can see that I really am trying but just need to do more. So this is just some of the stuff that was running through my head last night while I was laying in my bed before I went to sleep. It really help me pull my head out of my butt and quit playing the victim. I didnt follow the rules, Its that simple. Noone likes being arrested and put in jail. I didnt think I deserved it. But maybe I did. I just hope when I go to court, I can convince the judge of my changes and hopefully he will let me continue in my probation. MAybe this is what Gods plan was for me this week. To make me realize this stuff.
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