cinderellawkids

I was rereading Cupi's post and I fear I will one day be posting the same.

I had a friend who passed away a few years ago, just before I met my AH actually, and I always forget the details of him and his life, but this so reminded me, maybe its part of me seeing reality also.

This friend was in my parents and Is life as a partier, fun happy go lucky guy who drank with my parents in a crazier part of their life. We knew him for several years and at times he stayed with my parents for a few weeks months at a time. We were all very close and he was like a brother to me. Yet his visits were always sparadic. 6 months would go by with no word and then suddenly he'd pop in broke with nothing ect. MOm and Dad would take his motorcycle and loan him $500 he'd do well repay them get his bike ect. Over and over again we saw him establish a life buy a condo, car ect, always to again show up months and months later with nothing.
My parents knew, I didnt until after he passed. He spent time here iand tehre in jail for driving on suspendeds or whatever, once for intent to purchase. (He was in our lives about 7 years)
It wasnt until a few months before he dies did we learn the rest of the story. On my 25th bday he got out of jail for the last time. We all went out to dinner, with another guy he'd met in jail-Funny this guy also an addict later was hubbys cell mate, anyway-. After dinner he was sick with bad indegestion and couldnt drink. Tryed a few days ended up in ER and it was discovered he had Hepetitus and severe Cirosis. He was 37.
Things starting rolling. We discovered he'd had a love of his life he'd never forgotten from 17 years earlier and a child. She's had enough and tossed him out (Yes hoping he'd get better) After a time she'd stopped hearing from him. She took a leave from work and brought his child to meet him. The guy was so sick. She stayed here until he died 3 months later and he died married to her.
She had spent 17 years going forward caring for their son but never letting go until then. She now has a very full life, ahppily married, no longer wondering and finally having her closure.

We all loved Dale and his memory carries on, we'll never forget him and how he touched his life. The last words he spoke is now Im at peace.


Im not sure why I posted this Just feel like I needed to get it out and hope the story may help someone else to let go.

teke

thanks for the story, i'm sorry about your friend, its so sad what addiction does, my little bro, dranked him self to death too. he was about 37 when he passed away. so touching.

teke

oh yeah cinder, this thing has a built in webcam. don't know what to do with it yet.

Elana

Hi (((Cinder))) I am sorry for the loss of Dale and the loss of Dale's life to addiction.

My X husband, as you know, died in a mental hospital with terrible anxiety and illness from brain damage from alcohol. I had moved on. I had to save me. It was pointless for two people to go down with the disease and I chose not to. It took me 18 years and they were the years of my physical height... I can never get them back.

It is sad when an addict chooses to avoid sobriety and stay in active addiction and die in active addiction.. his or her life taken by the damage from drugs and/or alcohol. It is even sadder when another person so ties themselves to the addict that they also lose their ability to live.

Two people lost that way.
While I am sorry for Dale's Story and Walter's Story I would be even sadder if I had not decided to move forward.. Unfortunately not finding this program soon enough and ending up with Steve who is likely to follow Dale and Walter.

I have opted to assume a positive out come for Steve but in that process I have also opted to live my own life to its fullest totally without Steve in it.