Anger
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: charlotte,NC
Posts: 111
Anger
I'm having some problems with anger.
It's an emotion that I'm entitled to after all the things that my husband has put me through in the last few months; however, I know that if we're going to continue to be in this relationship, which is what I'm choosing to do for now, I'm going to have to start to let go of some of it. He's been making efforts to be helpful around the house and he's been going to work, which is definitely better...I just can't stop being SO MAD.
My anger manifests itself in sly, clever comments. They might make me feel better for a moment, but mostly they make us both feel worse.
Does anyone have any advice on how you redirect some of that energy?
It's an emotion that I'm entitled to after all the things that my husband has put me through in the last few months; however, I know that if we're going to continue to be in this relationship, which is what I'm choosing to do for now, I'm going to have to start to let go of some of it. He's been making efforts to be helpful around the house and he's been going to work, which is definitely better...I just can't stop being SO MAD.
My anger manifests itself in sly, clever comments. They might make me feel better for a moment, but mostly they make us both feel worse.
Does anyone have any advice on how you redirect some of that energy?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere, out there...
Posts: 512
sorry wife - no advice but i'm right there with you - my anger manifests itself in sly clever comments - mine tend to be really mean too - i was at a meeting tonite and i shared that i still can get really angry -i feel like i'm getting better - and them bam - the anger thing gets the best of me - and with my sister i get angry and try to manipulate - i think i'm just so angry that she was able to manipulate me into thinking she was getting help (and you know after reading here a little tonite maybe on friday she was really serious about getting help) - i figure at least i'm able to see how this is wrong and try and work on it - baby steps...
love,
s
love,
s
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
No... but I know for me, my anger was born of resentments and fear.
Resentments, for me, are a direct result of my "expectations. Even if my expectations are "normal", when my addicted kids did not meet them, I felt resentment. An example was, I expected my kids to graduate high school and go to college. One graduated, one did not, neither managed to complete college. I was angry - REALLY angry. It helped when I stopped having that expectation... then it helped even more when I spent the rest of the college money on permanent make up ... for me! (totally frivolous and out of character for me... really).
Fear. My fear has been there all my life. I am afraid of being unheard, of being unloved, of being not good enough, of being discounted. Knowing these are my triggers helps me to identify what is being triggered. Then I can write it out... lots and lots... and throw the writing away. Throwing it away is important, or else I go back and reread and get retriggered.
And most importantly.... I pray to have the anger removed.
It will be... in time.
But praying about it makes me willing to work the rest of my program.
I hope this helps. ((hugs))
Resentments, for me, are a direct result of my "expectations. Even if my expectations are "normal", when my addicted kids did not meet them, I felt resentment. An example was, I expected my kids to graduate high school and go to college. One graduated, one did not, neither managed to complete college. I was angry - REALLY angry. It helped when I stopped having that expectation... then it helped even more when I spent the rest of the college money on permanent make up ... for me! (totally frivolous and out of character for me... really).
Fear. My fear has been there all my life. I am afraid of being unheard, of being unloved, of being not good enough, of being discounted. Knowing these are my triggers helps me to identify what is being triggered. Then I can write it out... lots and lots... and throw the writing away. Throwing it away is important, or else I go back and reread and get retriggered.
And most importantly.... I pray to have the anger removed.
It will be... in time.
But praying about it makes me willing to work the rest of my program.
I hope this helps. ((hugs))
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