kitcat29

Hello. I just found this site today. Had someone tell me about it. My soon to be ex husband has problems with drug use. We have 2 small children together so he will never be out of my life completely. And even though I kicked him out, I still have so much anger towards him and so many mixed emotions(though love is not one of them). I just don't know where to start

parentrecovers

welcome, kitcat. others will be along shortly to greet you, you've found a great place for knowledge and support. are you able to go to alanon or naranon meetings? alanon really helps me.

about your ex's disease -
you didn't cause it.
you can't cure it.
you can't control it.

what you do have are a lot of choices as to how it will affect you and your children's life in the future.

blessings, and keep posting! k

kitcat29

I have just made plans to start going to alanon meetings here. My mom is willing to watch my kids so I can go

BigSis

Yay! For me, as the mom of 2 addicts, Alanon was what saved my life.

Then, they made my life better.

I have been on a journey of self-discovery that I certainly never had TIME for when my kids were both in active addiction. Today, even with one in active addiction and the other one sober - but BEHAVING like an addict - I have plenty of time.

The difference was learning new ways to look at life, and then looking at myself to figure out why my vision had become so clouded.

I admire your willingness.. Please be sure to post again and tell us how you are doing.

ANd WELCOME!!!

kitcat29

I went to an alanon/AA supper last night and listened to them speak. My current bf goes to AA and NA. I was so happy that they had an alanon speaker and it was like he was talking about me. the anger and the enabling and lies that he(I) told. And I want to be happy more for my kids to. I'm happier already by not being with my ex but I know I can be even more happy if I can let go of this anger i feel

Mavis

(((Hi Kitcat)))

Unfortunatly it's going to be a long road of recovery for you. I recomend the book called "Co-dependant No More" and the "sticky's" at the beginning of this forum.

Like you, I left my Husband over a month ago. If I stayed, I would have smothered him in his sleep, and because we have a Son together, I HAVE to talk to the man.

I love him for what he could have been. I mourn the love I could have had. I am living a new day every day. That is how I cope. "Day-by-Day".

I am sorry to hear your pain. I was there once. But I can tell you it does get a little better.

(((Hugs)))

Elana

Welcome to Recovery Hi Way.
sometimes it is a complex path and other times it is an Interstate you zip along on (or get stuck in the break down lane).

Recovery is the land of Opportunity complete with All the Choices and every one of them is yours!

GiveLove

Hi kitcat,

Welcome to here! There is a wealth of wisdom and strength here, so I'm so glad you found us. Stick around, read the posts, read the sticky posts at the top, and learn all you can. All of it will contribute to your efforts to get strong and healthy again. Codependent No More is a great idea (it helped me see how it was I managed to get so deeply into a relationship with an addict, and was really freeing) and meetings can be a lifesaver. Bless your mom for watching the kids so you can have that support!!

Hugs and strength,
GiveLove

Ann

Welcome Kitcat from another Canadian. From the above I'd say you are well on your way to a better path and good recovery. I'm glad you joined us and hope you'll stick around and walk with us on our journey.

Hugs

marle

I want to say welcome and wish you well on your path to recovery. Sometimes it takes anger to show us a better way. Hugs, Marle

Sunflower

Welcome --keep posting--good luck with alanon--baby steps

tropikgal2

WElcome to SR! It is good that you are already working on your recovery. It takes some a long time to make that first step towards healing. I hope you start feeling better soon!
((HUGS))) & peace

tryin2bstrong

Welcome. I'm new to the site also but have done a lot of reading on this site for the past couple of days. Keep reading and you will find lots of people you can identify with.

puddinface

Kitcat...I promise you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. Keep reading..you are not alone.

hope213

welcome to S.R. it sounds to me as if you are doing well. you have joined us & are attending f.t.f. meetings.that is great.keep coming back & we will walk this road with you. hugs & prayers, hope

teke

just want to chine in and welcome you to sr, glad to hear that you are reaching out and have already started going to meetings. my husband and i both are recovering addicts, as bad as it may seem, it can get better. keep the focus on you and i am so glad to meet you. keeping you and yours in my prayers.

Blackrose2756

Another welcome. I've had a few addicts in my life. I'm not living with one now, but my daughter's boyfriend, even though she claims he's clean, has some awful strange behaviors that he used to have.

Glad you are getting to meetings.

Lynne

dollydo

Welcome,

Anger serves a purpose to a point, then it just eats you up from the inside out.

You can let go of the anger by letting go of him, his actions. He is sick with a disease that there is no cure for.

Keep going to those meetings, they will help you to let go, and move forward with your life.

My Best,
Dolly

JEI2950

I also would like to say welcome , Kitcat, As already stated there is a good group of people here , keep postin and may God bless you and yours , your faith and hope can prove to be a important and valueable vehicle for your loved one's recovery , take it from someone who is on the other side of the fence , without my new friends here, prayer , meetings and my wife's belief in my desire to change , I would really be more messed up than I am , and that's sayin a lot . Again keep postin and WELCOME . love JEI