it's not my fault
 

thank you for listening, i needed to say that. blessings, k

You are right, k, it is not your responsibility or your fault. We each have our own paths and the decisions are ours to make as are the consequences. Your daughter's decision to use again was not caused by anything you did or did not do. You don't have that power. Take care of yourself. Hugs, Marle

You are a good mom, Parentrecovers.

One thing I have to remember (because I go down that road of "what ifs" all the time) is that ALL parents have some regrets about some things. Not all parents ended up with addicted children.

How we parented is not correlated to whether our kids become addicts, anymore than how we parented relates to them having blonde hair or blue eyes.

(((hugs))))

((((parent))))
You're right, not your fault.

Parent, I'm glad to see you say that. It is hard to watch your child self-destruct. But that's why it's called "self" destructuon. They do it without our help. They made choices. All we can do is let them know if they want help, we are there for them. That no matter what they choose, we love them. We may not approve of their choices, but we still love them. My motherly instinct is starting up a bit again. My 21 yr old recovering heroin addict has lost 15 lbs quickly. She does not live with me, so I don't see what I would if she were still here. She has bailed out twice on plans with her sister in the last week. I am getting ready to face the fact she could be on the road to another relapse. But as you say, It is not my fault. Hoping I'm wrong. Tying not to over think things. Sending hugs & prayers.

you're right parent, none of this is your fault, it has nothing to do with anything that you have or have not done. keeping all of you in my prayers

praying also for you and your daughter today, helpus. k

It is not your fault. You can not control the actions of others.

Sending you big hugs!

if we could control what our kids did not one of us would be here. it is not our fault.hugs,

you are right....it'snot your fault. from following your posts, it appears that you have been right on point about supporting your daughter in recovery.

the rest is up to her. you have done everything you can do for her....now you may just have to take care of you and your husband in this.

prayers going up for you and your family

(((((parent)))))

Yep..you're right...its NOT your fault.

And yet, I know it still hurts like hell sometimes.

I hope you do something really nice for yourself this weekend. I really do.

Hugs, prayers and blessings...

It's not anyones fault--it is a disease.....

you are right..it's not your fault

I too play the guilt game often (but not as much as I use too!)

I usually manage to put it to rest by acknowledging that it is a disease and feeling a comraderie with other parents of "sick" children

we do not "blame" parents if their child is ill with any other disease nor do we blame a parent if a child has a serious accident under their watch...life happens and we need to accept that

well, I find comfort in applying the same standards to addiction...an illness with serious complications that we neither planned nor encouraged

having said that, I continue to fight for remission (as most parents do...)

(((Parent))) You are absolutely right and it is good that you realize that. I hope that you are feeling better little by little and that your road to recovery is getting smoother.

thank you, k