laketime

20 yr old as still staying in using apartment with 15yr old agf. he been removing wall paper for a frriend of mine. last night friend called he gave as $40 advance until he finished and said as asked to stay over instead of going back to using apartment. 4 people one br , he said yes. when he got home as was gone. i guess the temptation to use was just too much. when i think about the situation, sex plus coke, that must be a strong temptation. i still havent talked to him and dont think i want to yet. what would we converse about, that we havent said 100 times. dad iwant to come home, dad i want to get clean, dad ill never see her again,dad i want to go to school, dad i want to be in turf management, hes had a year to make up two credits just to obtain a high school diploma, quack,quack,quack i think the only way ill help is if he shows me an acceptance to a halfway, oxford house etc. i will pay to get him started, rent, transportation, even meals and gas till he gets a job, but comming home until he finds one cant be an option this time. i hope. i been snowed before. see you guys monday

teke

have a good wkend lake, i was just thinking about you just now and then you posted, glad to see you sticking to your boundaries, i pray that your son finds his way soon.

marle

Lake, Just being curious as my husband is a golf course superintendent. Does your as want to work on a golf course? Marle

Barbdee

Good luck, Lake. You "may" have to take him in for 30 days to keep him clean that long to get into an Oxford House. Once he's there, the other guys take over.
Sending you prayers and if you need them, I have a ton of cocaine tests that I hope I will never need to use again. PM me with your address if you want them. Wish I had more to offer you and everyone here.
Love, SM

parentrecovers

it's a tough one. i'm not sure we did the right thing by letting our daughter back in the house last month. but at the time, i/we couldn't bear the idea of her being homeless. there's no right or wrong answer, i guess. i've heard it said here many times - do what you can live with. blessings, k

hope213

you are doing so good in your recovery.i know it is hard but you are doing the right things. i will pray he hits his bottom real soon.

laketime

yes marle, hes always said he would like to be in turf management, his last job was at a gold course, but of course you cant keep an addiction and a job, also thanks for the offer secret, i tried to let him stay here the last time long enough to go to an oxford house, he just left again, went to his girlfriends and started using ,where does it end.

marle

Lake, Don't give up hope. My husband was a wild child. He did lots of drugs when he was younger(including heroin). One of the reasons he straightened up was his love of golf. He did not attend turf school until he was 25. Until then he bummed from one job to another. But his love of golf is what kept him going. That is where I met him. He was working his first job as a super, I was going to college and working at the country club that my parents managed. He has been a superintendent now for almost 30 years. He still loves his job. So if your son has a passion you may find that is what will bring him back. Hugs, Marle

itiswhatitis...

laketime,

i just wanted to let you know that their was an 18 year old boy here, in indy, he got his girlfriend pregnant (it was in the paper yesterday) apparently girls can only consent to sex at the age of 16 - this poor boyfriend is going to prison for 12 years - the parents asked for and got like the maximum sentence - maybe you should let your son know3 that...

just another tactic you might try...

sincerely,
s

lil516

I too was concerned when I read 15 yr old girlfriend...the trouble that could result from that is even bigger than the drug problems...

I know it is out of your hands but a frank discussion of consequences might be helpful...

laketime

i have warned him of the consequences. like i said before i quess coke and sex in the same place is just too much to resist

parentrecovers

i gotta wonder, and i know it's none of my business laketime - but where in the world are the parents of the 15 year old? k

laketime

well for the last two days my wife has reported seeing as's truck at the mothers house. she lives with some guy with a "back problem". does a lot of loritab. anyway, i dont know if she doesnt have control over this girl or scared this girl will leave or uses with them. i just dont know

Noah812

lake your son could be in a lot more of a mess than just drugs. A 15 yo gf? Sex with underage girls and cocaine possibly contributing a control subsstance to a minor could if caught force your son to sign up as a sex offender if the gf or mom files sexual assault charges or worse. Not to mention that 15yo has a father somewhere that most likely would not see your sons problem as just too much too resist, in stead he he will probably wish he would have left the young agf alone.

marteen

There is no easy answer. The only thing that will help him get clean is his desire to do so. I know that I could not have my AD living with us while she was actively using and now that it's been so long, I don't think I could ever have her here because first of all, she has never been clean and secondly, even if she did get clean, she would need a very long time clean to learn what it is to live a normal life.

It's very, very tough and Mr. M and I have beat ourselves up several times over it. We don't do that anymore because we have come to realize that we were not the "cause" of her using or continuing to use.

If she wanted to get clean, she would have; home or not.