kj0975

This stuck out to me your were allowing HIM to make it work well without 2 people willing to make it work its just not gonna work. Maybe too little too late. There becomes anger when u are the only one supporting your family cause your husband would rather be out smoking crack then to take care of u and your family. After years of this its hard to just let go of. He was allowed to do whatever whenever with all his $ and u were home with children not having that option to get up and go. Resentment maybe. I know I would have a hard time letting go of the past even if we are told too. Easier said than done. A little clean time doesnt wash away all the hurt and anger and rejection that take alot longer.

katwomankc

good morning all i think i am at the right thread now....

hey cinder i just would like to tell you that you have nothin to be scared about at a alanon meeting. they are truly neet people who you can turn too. like anvil has said this here is a alanon meeting in itself. and i would like to say i am grateful for you all here. thanks

kj0975

Cinders NO NO NO NO NO NO NO that is exactly what I meant about rescuing him. If he really wanted those things he would have spent his $ on those things instead of CRACK! NO NO NO NO. He knows he will get to u eventually he always does. Dont let him see its working let him go pan handle for an alarm clock and a cup of coffee why should u spend your $. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

teke

i had this feeling before with one of my exs, i found out after we were broke up that he was and addict, and i think it was heiron, don't know though, i didn't have the foggiest idea about addiction at the time. he kind of kept that from me the whole time.

after 5 yrs of him, i came in one day, out of no where, looked at him, went straight to the phone and casually called his mom and ask her if she could please send somebody to get her son out of my house, and i never looked back. he hadn't done anything as far as i knew, i was just sick of him and wanted him away from me. to this day, i don't think he knew what hit him and i don't know what came over me, but i'm kind of like having the same kind of feeling about this.
trying not to make too hasty of a decision right now, but i don't know

cinderellawkids

okay I will not. More coffee for me.
He's gonna be a nusiance this weekend Im sure when his eggs and bologne sandwiches run out, but Im nott aking any calls.

katwomankc

teke, the exhibit is artifacts found on the original titatinac.. i am looking forward to that. i think since i am not on my addiction anymore i am going to enjoy the room we have, the pool, spa, and the free majic show. and of course gambling but i am putting myself on a budget. and too i told my boss i will pick up my paycheck monday. i will need it when i come back. lol.

cinderellawkids

Teke I did that with an ex too.
AFter being split for years I found him on the side of the road at a friends sick, brought him home, a few days later I realized he had a far more serious problem with cocaine. I opened the door at 3 am and told him to get out, never tlooked back or talked to him again. (That was easier though, I remmeber not wanting my oldest to see him come in messed up or witha bloody nose. Its different when you have kids with them)

Lovestoomuch

Just poppin in to say hi. Noah has taken today and tommorrow off just for me. Don't know what we're gonna do yet, but I think he's taking me to see downtown Dallas. It'll be my first time in the city since arriving here.

Hoping you guys have a wonderful day!!
Hugs
Kris

katwomankc

Anvil i loved your post about the money and how you didnt need hanks money. well not to long ago me and my hubby were living paycheck to paycheck. and now we are going on a road trip without my paycheck. now that is a gift of recovery for us. then i found 20 bucks in my purse. wow. i remember when i couldnt even find 20 cents. lol.. anyways teke my hugs to you friend.

cinderellawkids

Well guys it seems schedules changed. I was so proud of myself I got there on time even found the alanon room, but as of April 1 meetings are elsewhere on Thursdays. It was too far to go on my lunch break, but I did get a new and current schedule and am going Monday at noon. Also there an alanon national convention here in September
So I went to a fish store and browsed instead. Teke they had 8 inch silver dollars-awesome.

Jewelz

Well just got back from the docs and she said what I thought he has a cold and cant prescribe cold medicine but she did give me amoxicillian just because he had the cold a long time. I know she did it just to ease my mind.

My director called me to and said for me not to come. I told her I felt real bad because of the interview, she not to worry about and to take care of everything I gotta do today so tomorrow there wont be any problems. Gotta love this woman... she's so understanding.

Abf is sleeping he didnt get to bed till after 4am.. I think he is annoyed with me with everything I said in the middle of the night, like that he has to stop this $hit, if he doesn't want to stop then go ahead and move out I dont need him, that he stinks like beer and to turn over, that I am tired of him.. I am sure I said more to.

I was laying in bed and I see he is watching TV so I ask for the remote and he says leave me alone I am sleeeping.... priceless he didnt think about my sleep last night, knowing I had to go into work in less then 3 hours... nope he didnt think of me.

How can a person love someone and hate them at the same time.. thats the million dollar question I have.

Jewel

katwomankc

the convention seems great cindi...i hope you find it to help you my friend.

cinderellawkids

I think I said that somewhere on thread 2.
Unfortuantely thats what you end up feeling when living with an addict. I know Ive said it before but Ill ever forget when my FILs girlfiriend said"Becareful all the love you feel today will turn to stone cold hate if you let it."
I was just thinking how fortunate my lil guy is having his grandma comfort him today, since he's so sick and I really needed to work. It is so sad there fathers cant be there for them

cinderellawkids

If nothing else its on the beach in one of the nice hotels here

Jewelz

Cindi, your right in an ideal world Mikes dad would have taken him to the doctors and I could have went to work. But this is the life I am choosing at the moment so I guess I just got to suck it up and deal with it.

katwomankc

thats good.. i went to my first convention during thanksgiving weekend last year and i have gotta tell ya it was the best time of my life. we rented a hotel room even though it was only thirty minutes from our house. but it was very nice....it helped to know i wasnt alone.

cinderellawkids

Ok guys I have an issue. How can I do filing and sit at my computer and type to you guys?

kj0975

Prioritize and file later! I sit at my desk and make it look like I am alphebetizing them b4 I file. We all know thats not what I am doing

katwomankc

lol kim.............. you girls are to funny......

cinderellawkids

Haha, KJ I did that the last 2 days. Now I gotta get some filing done, but alas I just received mail with changes. Ill make the changes first