2CAREBEARS

Hi All. Sorry I Haven't Been Able To Post Sooner, But Here Goes Anyway. Saturday Night The Kids And I Were Coloring Eggs And I Asked There Dad If He Wanted To Join. He Said Yes, Came Over And Put An Egg In Teh Water And Was Nodding Off Holding It Half Way In And Spilt The Color. I Told Him To Just Go Away, That We Would Do It By Ourselves. He Said He Wanted To Do It As A Family. I Told Him That He Can't Even Keep His Eyes Open Long Enough To Color An Egg. He Got All Upset And Replied With " Well The Kids Spilt Color Too" I Laughed And Said Yeah, They Are 3 And 5. He Just Went On The Couch And Fell Asleep.
Sunday Morning I Was Getting Ready For Church And He Asked If I Wanted Him To Go. I Told Him It Was Up To Him, It Was His Choice. So He Got Dressed And We Went. Well Not 10 Min. Into Church, He Was Dozing Off. I Kept Hitting Him Waking Him Up. I Mean How Can You Fall Asleep With The Music Vibrating Your Chest??!!!! So I Told Him To Go To The Back And I Would Be Back Tehre. Well I Ended Up Taking Him Home And I Went Back To Church And Then To My Families. On The Way To Take Him Home, He Was Crying Saying He Is Trying Soo Hard To Keep Our Marriage Together And I Am Not. I Said How Can You Say Your Trying When You Can't Even Keep Your Eyes Open.
Needless To Say That Weekend Showed Me That I Really Am Done With Him And His Drugs. He Swears Hes Not Taking Anything, But Come On. He Is Back To Not Being Able To Stay Awake During Anything. He Has To Be On His Pills Again. I Could Go Look In His Car, But I'm At Teh Point Wher I Know, He Knows, I Don't Even Care To Look Anymore. The Kids And I Will Be Moving In With Family Shortly. I Know It Will Be Hard, But It Is For The Best.

parentrecovers

i'm sorry that it is so difficult. it sounds like you are making decisions that put you and your children's needs first. that is great! blessings, k

Mavis

Sorry to hear that. I can relate. How embarassing for you.. but remember.. people would be looking at him not you.
At my Son's assesment for autism, my AH fell asleep in the chair!!! My Son was doing so good on his test's and I was cheering him and being so proud, and I looked at my AH to share the joy.. to find him sleeping. The child psychologist gave me that look.
We have been to so many places where he would fall asleep. "What do you mean" he say's. "I'm clean!" Oh give me a break.

Remember.. that's his life he is missing out on. You can embrace your happiness with your children and not miss a moment. Don't miss those moments!

teke

sorry that it had to get to this but i think that you are doing what you have to do to protect you and your kids. good for you. i pray that things will work out for you and your family and i will keep all of you in my prayers.

marle

I am sorry that you had to go through that. Our addicts just like to keep themselves numb and when they do have any feelings they are usually feeling sorry for themselves. The tears are not for us. Hugs, Marle

thejunkyswife

So many signs of using make me so angry now...I so feel your situation. Right before I found my husband's needles, it was my birthday. We'd just closed on a house, and all I wanted to do for my birthday was go over to the new house together, light a fire in our new fireplace, and sit on the floor and have a nice dinner with some wine. I spent the whole day trying to wake my husband up. He only woke up long enough to go in the bathroom and use, and he'd scold me for trying to wake him and make him go celebrate my birthday at the new house.

Looking back on all those weeks of him sleeping or dozing through all the time we had alone together makes me so angry. I try not to dwell on it, but it's hard some times. For months, my husband was either at work or asleep, and I always thought that he was just tired from using so much,or just depressed. I had so many freakin' excuses for his symptoms!

I agree with everyone else. You're putting yourself first and taking care of those who depend on you. Good luck, and i hope it all works out for you!

patchoulli

bless you. at least you are smart enough to know it isn't you. It took me a long time to figure that part out.

2CAREBEARS

Well Patch, It Has Taken Me Along Time. My Hubby Has Been Addicted To Something For The Past 4 Years. It Has Just Gotten So Bad That It Is Affecting Our Finances And Our Trust. So I Now Know That It Is Time For Me To Get Out. I Have Helped Him Every Way I Could, There Is Nothing Left For Me To Do. He Has To Go At This Alone Now. Figure Out What He Wants To Do And What Comes First For Him. Cause It Sure Hasn't Been Me Or Our Kids.

hope213

it has to be hard.sorry you are going thru this. keep posting,set goals & let us know how you are.hugs,

Cupicake

I'm so sorry CareBears that you have to do this. I know you tried hard not to have to get to this point. Although your AH was trying to join in on the family things....our addicts don't realize that it is even more infuriating to have them join in, in that state of mind. Sometimes you have to have the hard task of letting go and letting them fall and hope that it wakes them up.

dollydo

I am sorry, but, I agree with your decision, you and your children deserve a better life, one that he cannot offer you.

Hugs,
Dolly