I think I know why
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: statesville, nc
Posts: 53
I think I know why
I have asked why? Why God? Why??? Why does this have to happen? Why do I have to go through this? What am I supposed to learn from all of this? What are you trying to teach me?
I have asked that question so many times lately. And setting here reading all of your posts causes me to reflect on myself, my husband, my heart, others thoughts, feelings, viewpoints. It causes me to think maybe this ordeal as bad as it is, may turn out to be a blessing to my life. Just having you out here on SR share a piece of yourselves, triumphs, heartaches,wisdom, and revelations a blessing.
It brings new meaning to the saying "When we are at our worst, God is at his best." This experience will not keep me angry, bitter, or resentful. In the end..... I will be a better person because of it.
Thank you all for taking the time to help others even when you yourselves are in the midst of a storm. Its speaks volumes about who and how God uses people to do his work.
I have asked that question so many times lately. And setting here reading all of your posts causes me to reflect on myself, my husband, my heart, others thoughts, feelings, viewpoints. It causes me to think maybe this ordeal as bad as it is, may turn out to be a blessing to my life. Just having you out here on SR share a piece of yourselves, triumphs, heartaches,wisdom, and revelations a blessing.
It brings new meaning to the saying "When we are at our worst, God is at his best." This experience will not keep me angry, bitter, or resentful. In the end..... I will be a better person because of it.
Thank you all for taking the time to help others even when you yourselves are in the midst of a storm. Its speaks volumes about who and how God uses people to do his work.
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
i think that you are doing good in your recovery, i find that as bad as its been for me, i still can be grateful for where i am today, and i know that it was those hard times that helped to get me here. thanks alot and i'm glad to say that your recovery is also kind of sticking out. still praying for you and that as time goes on, more will be revealed.
Last edited by teke; 04-09-2007 at 07:27 PM.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: statesville, nc
Posts: 53
Thanks teke for your prayers. I know I still have a long way to go. And I know there will be days that I struggle with everything. But I do have hope....that in the end it will all work out.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: punta gorda florida
Posts: 381
I have days that I struggle. Easter was difficult, Luckily my girls also worked, I worked and then cried on and off all day. My youngest came over and spent the nite, we made an 11 o'clock excursion to walmart in our pajamas...I am asking myself the same question..What was I supposed to learn, why did I have to go thru this after almost losing my daughter to the same demon that got Keith. I don't know the answer, I do know that I am not bitter[I can't believe it myself], I'm sad, at times I'm angry, I don't understand how I didn't see it, and I am shocked that in the last 3 weeks of his life[if you can call it that], he was stealing from me, I'm still not bitter...He was very sick. He is in a better place now...I am hoping he found the peace that he couldn't find here....The only thing I can think of is something I read here...God has other plans for me....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere, out there...
Posts: 512
bren,
amen - isn't that the truth - i'm always amazed that things happen at certain times in your life - when you least expect it *it* can change your whole perspective - life is good...
love,
s
amen - isn't that the truth - i'm always amazed that things happen at certain times in your life - when you least expect it *it* can change your whole perspective - life is good...
love,
s
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I never thought I would have so much peace with not knowing why. I know that this difficult and sad journey has brought me to some beautiful and joyous places and changed me for the better and I am so grateful for what HP has done for me and also grateful for everyone here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Hugs
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Bren,
For me, I know exactly why I've had to go through what I've gone through, having an addicted daughter. For so long I lived my life thinking I was controlling things and, Lord knows, I did try to control everything and everyone. I was a believer in my HP (I call him God) but obviously I wasn't yielding to his directions.
Enter my daughter's addiction and guess what? He got my attention. I was forced to face reality and her addiction and that there was no way I could fix it or deal with it on my own. I was dying inside. The pain of dealing with addiction drove me to Al Anon meetings and this board where I have learned about recovery and the 12 step program.
The process of recovery has been very slow and, from what I've seen and heard, that is normal. The 12 steps and the guidance of my HP have taught me a much better way to live. I once was bound by fear, insecurity and negativity. I used controlling (or the attempt to control) to try and keep everything just the way I wanted so I wouldn't have to face the fear and insecurity. But it just never worked.
After 4 1/2 years around the rooms of Al Anon, I see life so differently. My attitude is much more positive. I know good can come out of bad situations. I've seen it first hand in my life. My insecurity has basically disappeared. My fear, well, it's so much better. I know that God has a plan for my AD's life and for mine. I have to trust him because I KNOW that I KNOW that I KNOW he has brought me to this better place in my life. For me, it's called a personal relationship with God which is more rewarding than anything I have ever had in my entire life (and I'm no spring chicken...
)
Yes, I know why I'm in the situation I'm in. God used it to get my attention so he could have more of me. I'm convinced that was his plan all along and am a firm believer that I have to trust him, get out of the way far as my daughter's recovery is concerned, and let Him and my daughter work on her while God and I work on improving me.
For me, I know exactly why I've had to go through what I've gone through, having an addicted daughter. For so long I lived my life thinking I was controlling things and, Lord knows, I did try to control everything and everyone. I was a believer in my HP (I call him God) but obviously I wasn't yielding to his directions.
Enter my daughter's addiction and guess what? He got my attention. I was forced to face reality and her addiction and that there was no way I could fix it or deal with it on my own. I was dying inside. The pain of dealing with addiction drove me to Al Anon meetings and this board where I have learned about recovery and the 12 step program.
The process of recovery has been very slow and, from what I've seen and heard, that is normal. The 12 steps and the guidance of my HP have taught me a much better way to live. I once was bound by fear, insecurity and negativity. I used controlling (or the attempt to control) to try and keep everything just the way I wanted so I wouldn't have to face the fear and insecurity. But it just never worked.
After 4 1/2 years around the rooms of Al Anon, I see life so differently. My attitude is much more positive. I know good can come out of bad situations. I've seen it first hand in my life. My insecurity has basically disappeared. My fear, well, it's so much better. I know that God has a plan for my AD's life and for mine. I have to trust him because I KNOW that I KNOW that I KNOW he has brought me to this better place in my life. For me, it's called a personal relationship with God which is more rewarding than anything I have ever had in my entire life (and I'm no spring chicken...
)Yes, I know why I'm in the situation I'm in. God used it to get my attention so he could have more of me. I'm convinced that was his plan all along and am a firm believer that I have to trust him, get out of the way far as my daughter's recovery is concerned, and let Him and my daughter work on her while God and I work on improving me.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Like my friend Hangin' In, my experience brought me spiritually closer to God and gave me peace. I had never had peace in my life and I have found that most of God's gifts come in strange wrappings; like a detour on the road that takes me to a better road, God leads me beside the still waters...if I let Him.
My son is an addict who remains active in his addiction and I would wish that on no one, mother or child. But I also know that I would not trade my life today with anyone, I would not trade a moment of my pain for all the money on earth because that pain has brought me something that money cannot buy...inner peace and serenity, both priceless treasures.
Bren, your post is a reminder for me this morning, to be grateful and remember to say "thank you" for all the many many blessings in my life....no matter how strangely they may be wrapped.
Hugs
My son is an addict who remains active in his addiction and I would wish that on no one, mother or child. But I also know that I would not trade my life today with anyone, I would not trade a moment of my pain for all the money on earth because that pain has brought me something that money cannot buy...inner peace and serenity, both priceless treasures.
Bren, your post is a reminder for me this morning, to be grateful and remember to say "thank you" for all the many many blessings in my life....no matter how strangely they may be wrapped.
Hugs
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Bren,
It is amazing to me, that when I stop, and just listen for a moment, I find how much I have grown while dealing with my codependence. In my life, I found an answer, perhaps, not the only answer, but what I found was I was praying all wrong.
I was asking, and pleading instead of letting my H.P. lead the way. Now, I agree with whatever he has in store for me, and my sons, and family.
I'm still a work in process but hopefully, I'm growing in the right direction.
I use to ask, "Why me?" now I say "why not me?" Going through the last 15 or more years of my sons addictions has caused plenty of pain, and heartache, but it has brought me to a road I never would have traveled, if not for their disease. And believe it or not, it's a nice smooth, well traveled road.
Hugs to you,
It is amazing to me, that when I stop, and just listen for a moment, I find how much I have grown while dealing with my codependence. In my life, I found an answer, perhaps, not the only answer, but what I found was I was praying all wrong.
I was asking, and pleading instead of letting my H.P. lead the way. Now, I agree with whatever he has in store for me, and my sons, and family.
I'm still a work in process but hopefully, I'm growing in the right direction.
I use to ask, "Why me?" now I say "why not me?" Going through the last 15 or more years of my sons addictions has caused plenty of pain, and heartache, but it has brought me to a road I never would have traveled, if not for their disease. And believe it or not, it's a nice smooth, well traveled road.
Hugs to you,
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