Insight needed from mothers

Old 04-19-2007, 09:37 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Hug giver-outer!
 
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You did what you needed to do when you needed to do it and your reason was NOT to control your AD but to control your grandson's environment, which could have really hurt him.

I did not try to take my grandaughter away from my AD but it was different. She had her in another state and then when she came back, she came back to the baby's father's family. They were very controlling and at one point, when I explained to my AD that if she did not take the baby to the doctor, I would have to intervene. She did not like it but it brought upon some good action on her part.

Then she came over to visit us, driving a car, with the baby when the baby was only 4 mos old; AD was obviously using and I confronted her. I told her that if seeing my granddaughter meant that she would be in danger being in a car with AD taking drugs, then I would rather not see her. I just wanted her to be safe. And I also told her that I would not tolerate her being high in my home esp. when the baby was involved. She then kept her and the baby from us for over a year, telling us that we were dead to her. No calls, no contact, no nothing. She knew I would not back down about the safety of the baby.

As far as I heard, the baby was safe while she was living with the other grandmother but now AD is on her own and I think having her daughter is giving her some insight into what it means to be responsible for her. At least I hope so but the moment I see any danger signs, I will address them.

Hope somewhere, sometime down the road, your AD will be able to see the right path to take. But for now, she cannot see anything but her needs.

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Old 04-19-2007, 07:26 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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(((River)))

Another mom of an addict here raising my 12 year old grandson. I did call CPS, and the police when she wouldn't give me custody of my grandson. And although those were hard calls to make, I wouldn't change a thing. Now I know he is safe, and has food, and someone to watch him!! Not to mention someone who cares if his clothes are clean, and if he has a winter coat that zips!!! And mittens...oh, the list goes on.

Kudos to you my friend!!! That baby is blessed to have you!!!

NSW
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:54 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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This may sound simplistic - especially in light of the gravity of the situation - but things tend to work out.

They just do.

I also would, in a heartbeat, raise my grandson if his parents relapsed. Another relative of mine took her daughter's first born. The girl was 15, drug addicted and her lifestyle was awful. Then at age 20, she got pregnant again... this time, the mom could not take another baby, and the "baby daddy's mama" decided to go for custody.

Since the baby daddy and the girl were split up (he was in prison); this terrified her. This second baby would NOT be available anytime she got clean and sober.

So she got sober and fought for custody of the second baby. Then she regained custody of the first baby.

What I am saying is the first one being raised by grandma was exactly what needed to happen. The second one going to a perfect stranger is what she NEEDED in order to get clean and sober.

Only a power greater than me could ever know which is the right answer.

The longer I am in program, the more I am able to let go and let my Higher Power run the show... He has some interesting solutions!

I am glad you are there for that baby. He is getting unconditional love... we can all use some of that.

((hugs))
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