kj21

I watched the episode as well. It is nice to see there is a chance...but it also made me think that most addicts are doomed. Why would I want to be exposed the rest of my life to the uncertainty of an addicts life?? I keep asking myself this over and over! Feeling a little negative today.

wezzy55

I watched it also... I read the Big Book first time in 1978--During my 35 year drinking career..most all of the ones who use alcohol on a regular basis--or drugs--are without a support system.. The ones who are sussessful on there first try usually have a x-cellent support..could be wife, husband--other family.church-------At this point I think it all boils down to your support system..........and then again for whatever reason some of us are sicker than others.....Just my opinion for today...

Mertzie

Marle.. Thanks for the info on the program! I'm going to try to track that down.

Cindi.. Wow, 25 years! Congrats on your recovery. I appreciate your perspective. It's a lot easier for me to understand addiction when it is a situation like with the alcoholic on the show.. using and completely wasted or passed out. Thanks for helping me understand.

HUGS,
Mertzie

rose

The Show left me asking the Question???? Is there an underlying problem!

The lady on there who was an addict said there is always an underlying problem with addicts Do most addicts have a deep dark secret that they cover up with drups to help take away the pain?

I was cold blank and my ah was away working...tried to work night and day...got onto crack to what he thought was going to keep him going or so what I thought...but was there something more to why he was taking this drug.....

Rose

nogard

wow!

Addicts do get well in recover take a look around this board and there is always hope. Not that I would want to live with an addict in active addiction.

Kevin

Barbdee

Sorry, I didn't see the show, but have watched many of the Addiction series on HBO.
I just hate to see mom's "wondering" if they did something wrong or worse yet losing hope.
"If" it's true that there is always an underlying problem, that would include the genetic pre-disposition, subconsious emotions that the addict is not aware of, anything from kids being mean in grade school, to plain old peer-pressure.
I was sure RAS was depressed and used to self-medicate. But now that he is clean, he is the happiest person I know and says it was the drugs that made him depressed.
Everyone has problems even in the happiest most loving homes. But they don't use drugs.
Finally, even though it's not an illness in the category of cancer, it most certainly is an illness, more like a mental disorder. And I'm thrilled they are starting to call it one, so they will do more research and find a "cure"!
Lostparent, one of the HBO specials ended by saying that over 50% of teens addicted to drugs will recover completely....that's alot of hope!
****{hugs to all}}}
ps...tv is like the boards, take what you need and leave the rest.

Mertzie

I thought that there was a contradiction on the show. The doctor said that the brain of the addict is different from a normal brain. She said that the addict's brain tells them that drugs are more important than spouse/family/friends/job. But later in the show, Oprah asked if addicts ever lie, and they all laughed and said they lie all the time. If the thinking really is distorted, and the addict really believes that drugs are more important... then why lie???

Excuse the analogy (I just watch way too much Law & Order)... but if a criminal plans a crime and takes steps to cover up the crime, then he can't plead 'not guilty by reason of mental defect' and expect to get away with it. If this different brain idea is true, then why wouldn't the addict say... "of course I spent the money on drugs, why can't YOU understand that drugs are more important than paying the bills?"

I don't know, perhaps I'm just going through a cynical phase.

Done_With_It

Unless you actually do a line, I don't think you could really ever understand, no matter who explains it.

I know I couldn't until I was talked into my first line of "Meth".

That is the ONLY drug I could never walk away from. I had the same questions most of you did until I screwed myself and did that stupid
line.

Underlying issues or no underlying issues, for me they were never about blame. They were always about getting to the root of my problem.
I do hope if your thinking that your child has one, your not blaming yourself.
The blame game is just a destructive cycle. It doesn't help anyone.
I chose what I did to deal as a way to cope with my pain. I do think that my mom blames herself sometimes and I really do hate it, it's why I can Never talk to her about anything that's wrong with like this. I'm too afraid of her blaming herself, and she's too afraid too see anything wrong with for fear she did something wrong. To most of us, our moms are always perfect no matter what they did/do, they do the best they can with what they have.....
So blaming yourself is just not necessary.

GiveLove

It's that old story about the alcoholic and the complete teetotaler (non-drinker).

Ask them both why they do what they do, and they'll both respond "Because my parents were alcoholics."

People can blame anything for using. Or not. I had the childhood from hell and should by all rights be dead (and many times wished I were). I'm not an addict. My younger brother had a perfect childhood, with everything he could ever want. He's an addict.

I agree with nogard....I think the human brain is either wired for addiction or not.....with all different gauges of wire (some real strong and almost impossible to break....some not-so-strong and can respond to rehab & detox to try to live a normal life...)

That's NOT giving excuses to addicts to act the way they do, by the way. I just think we should try to understand all we can. Thanks for posting this, Done.

Hugs to all
GL

Done_With_It

I am still with Big Sis, for some of us, you can make an addiction. No matter how great my life was, someone gave me a line of ice and introd'd me to a dealer, I don't know how I wouldn't have gotten addicted to it. It was a solution to my ADD problems, but I also just was hooked on the way it made me feel... 40 seconds........ I was in love.......
I am not really sure if I did use it to cover my problems, but I know I did use it to keep the weight off, and to not sleep. But that is living life in the fast lane, a lifestyle I'm used too and I like. I like to be thin and I hate to sleep, so it was a miracle cure, and I could finally concentrate.

My roommate did the same thing your AH did. He had a lot of issues, he had done coke off and on since I'd known him, but not very much. It was never a problem or an issue that I saw with him. But then he started using to keep himself awake to work nights, and he spiraled so out of control, within a few months, he literally went crazy. 9 years of friendship, gone........

Drugs, they just suck..........

cmc

They lie to cover up what they do- for selfish reasons and/or because they feel terrible shame. They lie to be able to continue using and to 'convince' others and/or themselves that all is well- they can handle it.
They lie to cover previous lies and because they are not thinking rationally.

In other words, they lie to keep using successfully. Imagine the crackhead financial consultant who tells his client "excuse me I need to leave the room to go smoke some more crack." It's not nice but makes sense to me.
I also happen to know quite a few successful liars who are not addicts.

Some addicts may be more truthful than others(sometimes)- my son usually told me everything he did- high or not, he would let me know what he was using or say..."I used a bunch of stuff and don't remember exactly." He still lied alot to protect what he thought were his best interests.

The word 'mental' to me describes how someones brain functions...in general terms. From what I've read about alcoholism and addiction, it's biological. A better term is physiological.

The addict/alcoholic can control the first use/drink. Once the decision to use is made... all bets are off until or if they can regain control long enough to start over. If it was as easy to 'say no' as some people think..we would not be having shows on Oprah, places like SR or all the millions of people affected by this disease.

It is a disease. Nobody would choose this- it's devastion in the worst way.

froglegs

As far as an underlying deep secret or a reason that addicts use to cover up feelings...I would agree with that. I know with my AH he has admitted that he loves the feeling of being "wanted' that the people in the drug house used to give him. He would show up and they were all happy to see him, and no matter what was going on in his life, he would go down to the drug house and have a vehicle, a cell phone, a good job, owned a nice home, and felt like he was better than them in their crack houses with 10 kids and no cars or money or anything, and they treated him like a king (of course they did...he had the $$$$). Anyway, when he was feeling down about himself or ashamed or I was being cold or distant he would go down to the drug house for a "pick me up". Now, I work on verbalizing more often how much I do appreciate him and how much I do need him, and he works on surrounding himself with positive people that make him feel loved and needed, and he's been clen for a year with no cravings and no intention on going back, and I believe that.
That was a really big issue for him, a need to feel acceptance and wanted...Once he started feeling that at home and around people he trusted he didn't have a need to go and use anymore, so for AH it wasn't the actual drug, he always said he hated the feeling he had when he was on the drug, it was what he was getting from the atmosphere the drugs were in....

Barbdee

The drugs themselves make their brains different. For instance, in the case of crack/cocaine it dumps every ounce of dopamine (one of the neurotransmitters that make you feel good) into the brain at once. There is none left for normal living. On HBO, they showed MRI's of brains during a craving and certain areas light up like a xmas tree. But not the areas that would prevent them from being able to concoct intricate lies.
I did cocaine when I was around 30 yrs. old, at least 3 times. I thought it was stupid and never had a desire to do it again. But that's just me...each person is different.
I LOVE IT! We are each and everyone us responsible for ourselves and the sooner our addicts learn that, the sooner they can get well.
I'm no neuroscientist or anything, but from what I've gathered, some people are born with messed up neurotransmitters and they would be considered to have a genetic disorder. But other people that "try" drugs are re-routing neuropathways and changing their entire brain chemistry just by using. The drugs themselves mess up their brain and then becomes a disease. Either way, it's a disorder of the way the brain is functioning. And I agree 100%, it's a physical/mental disease.

I am just so glad they are finally researching all of this, instead of calling drug addicts "weak" or "abused" or "bums", etc. Once they get a handle on the portion of the brain that lights up with every craving, they can learn to supress it. That's what I pray for daily.
Sorry if this turned into a mini-novel :-)

Done_With_It

Originally Posted by Done-With-It
Unless you actually do a line, I don't think you could really ever understand, no matter who explains it.

pardon me, i guess i phrazed that wrong. Unless it's something that grabs you when you do it. I also did cocaine and crack and thought they were stupid, weed, I don't like drugs. Unless something grabs you like meth grabbed me,
then you may not understand fully is what I meant. Had I never gotten addicted to meth, I personally would NEVER had understood addiction like I do now. I didn't get why not just stop before I did meth, I just didn't grasp the concept...

No offense meant. I do understand everyone is different and have said that many times...

Barbdee

Dear Done, no offense meant either, I just didn't want anyone to misunderstand that one line instantly creates an addict.
Thanks for this great thread....hopefully the parents that got spooked after watching the show, will feel better. That was my only intention.
**{hugs}} SM

Done_With_It

lol, yea your totally right...

Done_With_It

I wonder what Oprah would think of this thread! LOL!~~~

Barbdee

LOL, too...she'd probably want to hear all this, she seems like a good soul who only means well. Since we are confidential here, we'd have to invite her...guests can read, right? Just not post? Go for it...pretty sure it's oprah.com :-)

Done_With_It

Oh that's a good idea!~ I have an account there too... or you can send them an anon. email too I believe...

Barbdee

Just wrote to her myself...if enough of us write, maybe she will pay attention?