drainedwife

tahnks so much for all of your help....i havent done anything yet. He kept questioning me as to what was wrong and got me to go to his briefcase and take out the "baggie" inside he had swapped the coke for sugar....
Before he had done that though, i had taken some out and put it in a seperate baggie....(not that it makes any difference..i know and he knows what was in there). he was cool an dcalm, most likely because he knows the messt time the cops are called, hes eitehr going to jail or im getting a restraining order...
if i file for divorce, how could he be forced to leave the house??? its his house too...?
thanks for all of your support.....

teke

i think that you handled yourself good, but i'm wondering what was his excuse for carring around sugar in his breifcase? maybe you don't have to file for a divorce right away if you don't want to, maybe you can just start for now with a brief seperation, divorce sounds so final to me and may cause more pain than expected unless you are sure thats what you want to do.

don't know how you can get him out of his own house but maybe you can just get some general info from maybe a lawyer or maybe a advocate for domestice abuse, not to say that he is abusive, just to ask questions.

i found that i didn't have a problem getting my rah out the house when i needed to, but of course, he didn't want to have to deal with the police and the courts either. keeping you both in my prayers

drainedwife

what is wrong with me that i wont go to a lawyer??? what is stopping me? do my kids have to be taken away?? why am i so scared? waht am i afraid of?
please help.

drainedwife

the "sugar" was to put on his cereal.....yeah frosted flakes needs more sugar on it and why would you keep it in a perscription bottle???
He wont leave the house...i know he wont...we cant afford 2 residences anyway....not that that should be my problem,,,it should be his...i just know he is in total denial and is absolutly not ready to get any kind of help..if nothing changes, he never will be either....i dont know what to do....how can i keep living a lie like this?? we have no marriage right now...while he is using, there is no marriage.

teke

if i remember correctly, didn't he tell you that your children would be taken, if so, that might be a reason why you are so afraid. i don't think that your children would be taken cause in my opinion, that would mean that you are trying to protect them. as i don't know how many judges would make you and the kids leave the house.

i had to go through the courts a few times to get my husband out the house and the judge ordered him to pay childsupport and spousal support so that i could keep a roof over the childrens heads, maybe it would be a good idea to call around and check your options just in case you need to know one day.

MsPINKAcres

Sometimes we are scared of the unknown -
Sometimes we stay in the same situation because at least we know what we are facing
Sometimes we don't do anything because we are afraid of the consequences the A's may cause us to suffer

Sometimes we are just scared.

But it's ok - there is a power greater than us - you can turn to that power, whatever you choose to call that power & look for strength and guidance in what is your next step.

Progress not Perfection - What can I do today to make one step toward a better life for me and my children?

Life didn't get miserable overnight & it probably won't get better overnight - but it can get better - One Day at a Time.

Learning to life Happy, Joyous & Free - regardless of the rest of world.
Hope You can too,

Rita

cinderellawkids

drowned wife I know exactly how you feel.
In Florida the only way to get him out of the house is file a restraining order, then the parent with the kids, the non using parent gets the house at the time.
If you havnt read through my thread wording help. There are some explanations in their about kids and cps or dcf.
Its okat to be scared its new and different territory. All of this is very frightening.

hope213

honey, go to see a lawyer,that is the only way you can really get the answers to your questions.hugs & prayers,

loveRoy

Remember, knowledge is power. Contact a lawyer. When you know the facts, you can make wise decisions. Knowing the facts will ease your fears. One bridge at a time.

sunshinegirl

I would ask around in regards to attorneys. I went for several consultations. They were all free, I made sure before I went. Finally I found someone who I felt comfortable with. You really need legal advise to find out what your rights are. You may be suprised. You should not have to live under those conditions. No one should.

I know its hard, but you have a wonderful support group here to lean on 24/7
My thoughts are with you

dollydo

You have nothing to fear, but fear itself...that's according to FDR, that was part of his statement when the 2nd world war was declared....such a simple sentance, but so true.

We can paralyze ourself with fear, and we accomplish nothing. If you are not ready to do anything, then you are not ready, there will come a time where a decision will have to be made for you and your children's safety...do you have a plan...if not, you plan to fail and you will take your children down with you.

It will happen. What are you going to do?

To me, the first step is to see an attorney, or three, the first consultation is normally free, what have you got to lose...nothing, at least you will know what your rights are, whether you ever do anything or not.