Somebody Slap Me
 

Currently I am at work. My abf is at my apartment, not working today because of the weather- his work is highly contingent on weather conditions. I do not have cable.
I fear him sitting at home and getting in his head/not thinking recovery thoughts and being bored and depressed.
I know that when he is busy he is feeling better and when he is lazy he feels crappy.

I KNOW that that is NOT my property. I know it's not my stuff to worry about, but I still can't help feeling anxious about it...

Just needed some sense smacked into me...

smack! ok, consider yourself smacked. you're welcome...

he can make a list of things to do before he goes to bed the night before, and keep himself busy on days off. and then there's aa/na meetings. he's responsible and accountable. not you.

blessings, k

I won't smack you, but if you like I'll warm up the steel toed bunny slippers and give you a nudge back to work and away from your stinking thinking. :D

Any time we let those thoughts occupy our minds we are displacing all the good thoughts we could be thinking instead, like our own recovery.

He's clean or he's using, no matter where your thought take you. Maybe for today just show up and let life happen....and think good thoughts even if it kills you.

Hugs

focus, focus, focus. keep the focus on you and your job. try hard to not awfulize what your husband might be doing, what can you do if you knew? try to focus on what you will do if you find that your feelings are valid. in my opinion, its not about what he is/is not doing, it about you and what you do.

try to keep your mind occupied and not allow yourself to think those thoughts. hey, put your mind on pause, for a minute, and tell your self that you'll think about what your husband is doing later in the day if you have to, but for now, try to do whatever you can to block those thoughts. keeping you and yours in my prayers.

Remember worrying about it or thinking about it doesnt change it. He's going to do what he's going to do and having or not having cable will not change that.

What will be, will be.

Thanks for the reminders
 

I needed the cinderellawkids reminder that worrying isn't going to change anything. My son is about to be discharged from the military - relapse after a year of great stuff happening for him - though I knew he was still drinking he was passing the drug tests. I've become anxious again, obsessing, forgetting all my alanon years, can't eat due to the anxiety. This site keeps me more sane during the day at least.

Worst for me is that the setback wasn't enough to create a desire for sobriety. Hard to imagine what it might take.

I love that kid so much but he's 22 now and in charge of his own life's choices.

I thank all of you for your posts. They help when I need to be reminded to LET IT GO!! AHHHHHHHHH.