Language of Letting Go - April 3

Old 04-03-2007, 03:01 AM
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Ann
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Language of Letting Go - April 3

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Acceptance

Surrender to the moment. Ride it out and through, for all it's worth. Throw yourself into it.

Stop resisting.

So much of our anguish is created when we are in resistance. So much relief, release, and change are possible when we accept, simply accept.

We waste our time, expend our energy, and make things harder by resisting, repressing, and denying. Repressing our thoughts will not make them disappear. Repressing a thought already formed will not make us a better person. Think it. Let it come into reality. Then release it. A thought is not forever. If we don't like it, we can think another one or change it. But to do that, we must accept and release the first thought.

Resistance and repression will not change a thing. They will put us at war with our thoughts.

We make life harder by resisting and repressing our feelings. No matter how dark, how uncomfortable, how unjustified, how surprising, how inappropriate we might deem our feelings, resisting and repressing them will not free us from them. Doing that will make them worse. They will swirl inside us, torment us, make us sick, and make our body ache, compel us to do compulsive things, keep us awake, or put us to sleep.

In the final analysis, all that we're really called on to do is accept our feelings by feeling them, and saying, Yes, this is what I feel.

Feelings are for the present moment. The more quickly we can accept a feeling, the more quickly we will move on to the next.

Resisting or repressing thoughts and feelings does not change us or turn us into the person we want to be or think we should be. It puts us in resistance to reality. It makes us repressed. Eventually, it makes us depressed.

Resisting events or circumstances in our life does not change things, no matter how undesirable the events or circumstances may be.

Acceptance turns us into the person we are and want to be. Acceptance empowers the events and circumstances to turn around for the better.

What do we do if we're in resistance, in a tug of war with some reality in our life? Accepting our resistance can help us get through that too.

Acceptance does not mean we're giving our approval. It does not mean surrendering to the will and plans of another. It does not mean commitment. It is not forever. It is for the present moment. Acceptance does not make things harder; it makes things easier. Acceptance does not mean we accept abuse or mistreatment; it does not mean we forego boundaries, our hopes, dreams, desires, wants, or ourselves. It means we accept what is, so we know what to do to take care of ourselves and what boundaries we need to set. It means we accept what is and who we are at the moment, so we are free to change and grow.

Acceptance and surrender move us forward on this journey. Force does not work.

Acceptance and surrender - two concepts that hurt the most before we do them.

Today, I will practice accepting my present circumstances and myself. I will begin to watch and trust the magic that acceptance can bring into my life and recovery.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Old 04-03-2007, 03:08 AM
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Acceptance was one of the most important parts of my recovery, and also one of the most difficult to attain.

I surrendered to "acceptance" only after I had exhausted myself trying to change what was. I had to "accept" that I could not control another person or their addiction/recovery, I had to "accept" that my son was an addict and that although this was not the life I would choose for him, it was the path he had chosen for now and there was nothing I could do to change that.

"Acceptance", for me, meant that I learned what I owned and what I did not, and that if it did not have my name written all over it, it was not mine to own.

Acceptance allowed me to surrender and find faith in God's Plan, no matter how much it differed from my own.

It was when I learned to accept that I was able to let go and it was only then that I found peace.

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Old 04-03-2007, 05:24 AM
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Accepting my thoughts and then releasing them has been a wonderful exercise for me. The other morning when I was meditating I was deep in this process and realized that I had tears just streaming down my face while I accepted/released thoughts. Then I realized there are no "bad" or "good" thoughts.....only thoughts.
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Old 04-03-2007, 05:35 AM
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it is amazing how the steps appy to just everyday life,not with the addict but in life on a day to day basics. accept the things you can not change.
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Old 04-03-2007, 05:43 AM
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Dear HP,
Even I can see the message you want me to get, the lesson you want me to work on. Everywhere I go, every thing I read, has been about acceptance.

Acceptance does not mean we're giving our approval. It does not mean surrendering to the will and plans of another. It does not mean commitment. It is not forever. It is for the present moment. Acceptance does not make things harder; it makes things easier. Acceptance does not mean we accept abuse or mistreatment; it does not mean we forego boundaries, our hopes, dreams, desires, wants, or ourselves. It means we accept what is, so we know what to do to take care of ourselves and what boundaries we need to set. It means we accept what is and who we are at the moment, so we are free to change and grow
I want to change and grow, I have been working towards that. Perhaps I need to work on accepting what is and who I am at the moment so that I can then be free to move foward!

Thank you Ann. As always, you are a wonderful messenger.

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