HKAngel24

I find myself STILL resisting, struggling against the idea that the man I've been happy with for almost a year and a half is really an addict behaving the way he has been behaving, mistreating me the way he has been.

Seems the longer we take it- allow them to try to convince us that WE'RE the crazy ones- the more they have us in a trance. He continues to remain in denial despite obvious signs and a number of people in his life who know what has been going on. My heart hurts very deeply. My mind and heart are at war.

Why is it still so hard for me to see that he is an addict and that this is NOT a reflection of his love for me...

Why is it hard for me to get it through my head that he is a sick individual?

Why am I still so afraid of losing him? He is pushing me farther and farther away - because I assume it is easier to remain in denial. Why do I cling on so tightly??

kj0975

Maybe its hard cause we think to ourselves if he really loves me and means all the things he said to me then why wont he stop doing drugs for me. Addicts lie, manipulate, treat people badly, steal the list goes on and on. Its hard to let go of the person we fell in love with. Somewhere in the back of our heads we think we can change them. We can love them clean. If that was the case none of us would be here. Sometimes its easier to stay than feel the pain of breaking up.

He is trying to push you away from him by being mean and treating you badly. Why cause your his consious as long as your in the picture he cant use the way he really wants to. Its so hard to understand. You need to put the focus on yourself and walk away from him. Maybe that will be his bottom maybe he still has alot further to fall. YOU will meet someone else you dont want to right now but the future holds alot of good things for you. When I walked away from my exab after 3yrs of the roller coaster ride I thought I wouldnt find anyone. I wanted to be single now I am with someone who really loves me and not the drama of being with an addict. You'll get the strength to walk away maybe not right now but you will.

You dont deserve to be treated the way you are being treated and you dont have to take ANY of the blame that he will try to put on you. While he is in denial about his addiction, you become in denial about how bad your relationship really is and that its unhealthy for you. Time will tell all I can say is as hard as it is to walk away it will become much harder to stay.

teke

maybe its because you have allowed him to manipulate you in to thinking that you can have life no better, that he's the best thing that ever happened to you, that you can't make it without him, that you can find nobody better, that he made you who you are today, all of which is just not the truth. i remember the day that i felt like all of a sudden, i woke up out of a tranced, and realized that i had be brain washed, into believing that i was losing something. then i asked myself, what exactly would i be losing, and the list i came up with, i was ashame to show it. sorry, you are better than you are giving yourself credit for, and maybe its time for you to think about waking up, too, you'll be glad you did.

even if you don't leave, try to do what you have to do to prepare for the day that you can't take no more, i pray that you don't get there, but it seems kind of a long way off, as long as you continue to allow him to treat you this way, especially for the reasons that you have. you DON'T DESERVE THIS, and seems as if you think you might. don't mean to hurt your feelings at all, and i'm sorry if it sounds like i am, i do care, and i know how it feels, cause i was there too.

today, i DEMAND respect from my rah, and because i care more about me, than i care about him, he notices and at least gives me the respect enough that i can live with if i want to.